you were always the one for me (2/3)
title: you were always the one for me
pairing: baekhyun/chanyeol
rating: nc-17
summary: Baekhyun liked kissing Chanyeol. Chanyeol liked kissing Baekhyun. It was okay for best friends to do that, right?
warnings: sex, slight angst
notes: based on the Australian schooling system
word count: 20k
part 2 of 3
Their saucy rendezvous’ continued all the way up until the end of their first year and into their long few month vacation. Their libidos hadn’t calmed down after the first time they had gotten each other off, Baekhyun now finding himself being actively jerked and sucked off on a regular basis.
They never touched sex though, and it seemed as though that was a simple ‘no spoken’ rule between them. Baekhyun assumed it’d cross a level of intimacy that not even their special friendship could explain.
Christmas was spent with each other, along with New Years and the rest of January. Baekhyun had taken up a part time job at the local ice cream parlour while Chanyeol was busy with some extra credit over-the-break Engineering project. They still managed to find time for each other, their movie nights now really just ‘who-can-get-each-other-off-the-fastest’ nights.
It was kind of a game between them, and Baekhyun often found himself joking in the midst of their time together. Maybe it was a way to loosen the already heavy atmosphere between them, to kind of interrupt their time and remind themselves that this was just a little help between friends, not lovers.
Most of the time, he wasn’t able to say anything, swept up in the way Chanyeol’s large palms took care of him with sure purpose.
Life really was good, and Baekhyun was happy when he started his second year. Chanyeol had taken another Music elective and they were in the same class again, eagerly making progress on their duo song project they had started the year prior.
Chanyeol continued with his study group this year and Baekhyun found himself seeing his best friend less and less. It didn’t bother him, knowing that the other was receiving good purpose from the sessions. So Baekhyun cheered him on along the sides, busy with his own set of assessment piling up.
At first he didn’t really notice when Chanyeol started to refuse his little ‘helping hands’ as he so liked to call it. Their schedules were pretty busy and Baekhyun found himself quite tired after a day at university and then a night working at the ice cream place.
It was only after Chanyeol had outright refused his hand on dick that Baekhyun realised something was wrong.
Because God forbid Chanyeol refusing Baek-head.
“Hey?” Baekhyun asked quizzically, sitting back on the sofa. His legs were tucked under like they usually were, but this time he wasn’t sitting on Chanyeol’s lap. It felt weird to actually sit on the comfy seat for once, normally planted directly on his best friend’s hard thighs. “What’s wrong?”
Chanyeol didn’t meet his gaze, glancing away to the side.
“Nothing.”
“Oi,” Baekhyun poked him in the arm, “When do you ever refuse my heavenly blowjobs?”
Chanyeol rolled his eyes, stretching a hand up to rub at his neck.
“Well… uh…”
“Tell me, babe,” Baekhyun smiled encouragingly at him, hand now resting at the top of Chanyeol’s knee. He trailed the tip of his pointer finger around the knee cap in a soothing circular motion.
“I kinda… might be seeing someone…”
Baekhyun felt his heart stop in his chest.
“What?”
He turned to face the other, face a blank slate.
Chanyeol looked a little sheepish and he reached a hand up to scratch awkwardly at the back of his ears.
“Yeah… and I think the whole getting each other off thing is probably worse than kissing each other.”
“Yeah,” Baekhyun practically choked on the word he was trying to get out of his mouth. “Probably.”
The smile he gave Chanyeol was the fakest smile in the world but the other looked appeased, seemingly glad that Baekhyun had agreed with him.
They watched their movie after that, a weird tension brooding between them. There was an unusual ache in Baekhyun’s chest as he continued to sit back against the couch, back plastered against the leather seating.
The pain continued to grow as the movie went on and Baekhyun stood up, stumbling towards the kitchen to get a glass of water.
“Hey, you okay?” Chanyeol asked worriedly, head popping up from the couch.
“Yeah,” Baekhyun called back, gulping the glass of water down as fast as possible. “I think I have acid reflux or something.”
“Okay,” Chanyeol still looked a little worried. “Take care of yourself, Baek.”
“Yeah…” Baekhyun muttered, draining the glass dry. “You too, babe.”
*~*
A few days passed before Baekhyun met up with Jongdae and Minseok again.
The other two had gone to different universities and decided that in order to keep in touch, they’d have monthly catch ups. They managed to see each other more often than that however, Minseok always dropping by his ice cream shop just so he could ‘taste test’ everything for the hundredth time.
Today, Jongdae had told him to arrive a little early. He was extremely elusive over the phone, muttering about Minseok and how he had to tell Baekhyun something.
After a quick manly bro-hug, they relocated to their favourite coffee place. Sitting in the quaint café with two cups of hot steaming coffee in front of them, Jongdae started talking.
“Okay so,” Jongdae began, holding his cup in between his hands. “Did Chanyeol tell you anything recently?”
Baekhyun sat back in his chair, a little shocked. Was Jongdae referring to what he thought he was referring to? His new girlfriend?
“You mean, his new girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend?” Jongdae winced a little. “Yikes.”
Baekhyun frowned, taking a sip of his coffee. “What do you mean then?”
Shaking his head, Jongdae waved his hand. “No, no. It’s to do with his new… girlfriend.”
The frown deepened on Baekhyun’s face and he moved a little forward into the table.
“I thought you were going to talk to me about Minseok?”
“Yeah so, you know the pretty boy Minseok’s been crushing on?” Jongdae asked, eyes locking onto Baekhyun’s. “The one that goes to your university?”
“You mean Luhan? Or Lu Han?” Baekhyun questioned, sitting back in his seat. “What about him?”
Minseok had been crushing on this Lu Han kid ever since they started university, having met him through an inter-university soccer game. It was kind of cute the lengths Minseok went to ensure Lu Han’s like for him. He hoped Minseok was able to catch the other’s attention soon enough.
“Yeah, so I have a friend named Tao who’s like best friends with this guy named Sehun who’s like-”
“What?”
“Just listen, okay! Lu Han is studying with Chanyeol. They have like a study group together.”
Oh.
“Oh Lu Han studies Eng?” Baekhyun asked interestedly.
Chanyeol hardly ever told him about his study group. The only thing Baekhyun could remember Chanyeol saying about his study group was that there was some really funny guy or something. He had forgotten what the guy’s name was but it was definitely not Lu Han. Baekhyun would’ve remembered if Chanyeol had talked about Lu Han before.
“Yeah, um, so like,” Jongdae continued, fingers enlacing with each other. “You know how I asked you ages ago how you’d feel if Chanyeol got a girlfriend and you were like ‘he can get a girlfriend I don’t care’ or something like that?”
Baekhyun nodded, unsure where this was going. The weird ache in his chest started to flare up slightly again and he coughed, taking another sip of his drink and hoping it would alleviate the pain.
“What…” Jongdae began, turning his head to the side and spitting the words out quickly. “What would you do if Chanyeol got a boyfriend?”
The words caused Baekhyun to freeze, cup of lukewarm coffee at the edge of his lips. The ache in his chest blossomed suddenly, spreading through him from his inner chest to his outer limbs.
“Baek?”
“I’m…” Baekhyun tried to respond, chest tightening up again. “I’m… What?”
Jongdae looked at him sympathetically, reaching out to hold his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“And it’s Lu Han?”
His friend gave him a nod, squeezing his hand a little.
“Lu Han, the guy Minseok likes?”
Jongdae nodded again.
Leaning back against his creaky seat, Baekhyun swore.
“Well this is a clusterfuck.”
*~*
Baekhyun avoided Chanyeol for a few days. He went to his classes but purposefully skipped the class he shared with Chanyeol. When he got home from work, he holed himself up in his room, ignoring his mother calling and telling him that Chanyeol had come over.
Minseok had been equally as shocked when Jongdae spilled the news and Baekhyun felt his heart clench in pity at the look of pain on his friend’s face. Chanyeol knew Minseok but Baekhyun had never told the other about Minseok’s like for Lu Han. That being said, Baekhyun had no clue that his best friend even knew Lu Han.
The weird ache in his chest had followed him through the days, flaring up intermittently. For some reason, the pain seemed to throb whenever he thought of Chanyeol and Lu Han together, in a way Baekhyun had never felt before. Not even when Chanyeol had been with Dara.
With a sigh, Baekhyun sat down on his bed, massaging his temples slowly.
He knew what the pain was. In the back of his head, maybe he had always known what it was.
He liked Chanyeol.
No, he loved Chanyeol.
Since he was young, he loved Chanyeol. He loved him when they were babies running around in their soiled nappies. He loved him when they were kids, when Chanyeol was a little chubbier than most and had his pet ferret on him at all times. He loved him when they were in high school together, when they kissed each other for the first time. Baekhyun had always loved Chanyeol.
And he still loved Chanyeol.
While he knew he loved Chanyeol, it was a different kind of love. Baekhyun loved him romantically. His love for the other had stopped being platonic a long time ago. Maybe they initially started kissing without any prior feelings, but since then Baekhyun had fallen for his friend. He had fallen for his goofy, big-eared friend who knew him better than anyone else in the world.
And yet, now he had lost him.
Maybe Baekhyun had not felt so bad when Chanyeol found Dara because inwardly he knew that she was a girl, and Baekhyun was different. Baekhyun was a boy. Baekhyun was the only boy Chanyeol kissed.
But now Chanyeol had his own boy. His own pretty boy, if anything Minseok had been spouting about the other was true.
Why would Chanyeol need him anymore?
The thoughts lingered with him as he went to university, avoiding the one music class he shared with the other. It was nearing two weeks of avoiding before Baekhyun eventually saw Chanyeol. He had been locking himself in the library, the one place he never really went to.
He thought Chanyeol was like him, never using the library either. And so, it was with wide eyes that Baekhyun spotted the other leaving the densely crowded area, exiting the building with a backpack around him.
He was wearing his customary black tank top and black shorts, cap fitted straight on his head. Compared to Baekhyun he looked good, no dark circles under his eyes and bright clean skin. The sight made the older boy’s heart clench in his chest because of course Chanyeol would be fine. He had his new boyfriend to look after him. He didn’t need Baekhyun anymore.
Nonetheless, Baekhyun was shocked to see Chanyeol and he quickly opened up a study room, closing the door just so the other wouldn’t see him if he looked back. Letting out a shallow breath, Baekhyun crumpled against the door, feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
Unfortunately his hasty retreat caused him to enter a room that was already occupied and Baekhyun nearly jumped when his eyes caught sight of a tall boy sitting at a desk. There was a flurry of papers scattered around him, his legs resting on a chair. Two cups of coffee sat on the table, and Baekhyun inwardly wondered why he needed two.
When the boy looked up, Baekhyun noticed his sharp features, face especially handsome under the bright light. From how long his legs were, Baekhyun assumed he was tall. Really tall. Perhaps even Chanyeol height tall. He was also really handsome too. Really, really handsome.
“You okay?” The guy asked, eyebrows slightly crossed.
It was only then did Baekhyun realise he was practically glued to the door, body plastered to the wooden material like he was glad his feet were touching solid ground or something.
“Oh,” Baekhyun let out an awkward laugh, moving slightly away. He touched his elbow with the tip of his finger, smiling a little in embarrassment. “Yeah, just. Yeah.”
“Looks like you were running away from something?”
The boy’s tone was a little questioning but he was still caught up with his papers, fingers grazing the white stack.
“Ahh, yeah,” Baekhyun held his bag in his hands. “Just a person I didn’t want to see.”
The boy hummed, taking his feet off the seat and gesturing to the other seats around him.
“Well, you’re welcome to come and study here if you want? I was studying with a few friends but they’ve left already.” The boy shook his head in amusement. “Horny bastards.”
Baekhyun sent him a grateful smile, moving over to sit at one of the spare seats. He took out his laptop, pressing the power button on. Eyeing the sheets of paper, he frowned at the multitude of graphs and mathematics equations.
“What are you studying?” Baekhyun asked conversationally, typing in his password.
The boy looked down at the papers, frowning. “Sadly engineering.”
Baekhyun let out a laugh, cocking his head to the side. “Sadly?”
The boy pouted slightly, his handsome face contorting to become something playful.
“Not exactly the easiest subject in the world. I just got this horrific 40% assignment and I’m already bogged down with stress.”
Nodding, Baekhyun sent him a sympathetic look. “My best friend studies engineering here too, I’ve heard him complain about the assessment like a million times.”
“They’re really terrible,” the boy agreed. He looked over to stare at Baekhyun’s screen, eyes narrowing in confusion at the music program. “What are you studying?”
With a grin, Baekhyun let out a laugh. “Music! Nothing like engineering. Well, maybe sound engineering but I’m shit at all that stuff.”
The boy looked interested, staring at the screen and the MIDI composition. Baekhyun clicked on the maximise button so the boy could see it properly.
“That’s really cool. I have a friend that’s taking a Music elective, but I’ve never seen any of his stuff before.”
“I really enjoy it,” Baekhyun smiled, staring at his arrangement, dragging a plugin over the synth and absentmindedly turning the nobs from side to side.
This was a song he created with Chanyeol one day when the two of them were stuck in the studio, MIDI keyboard in hand. It wasn’t anything special but Baekhyun remembered laughing really hard when Chanyeol first started rapping into the microphone, eventually shutting up when the other became serious. His best friend’s voice sounded good rapping, deep and thick and filled with so much emotion Baekhyun could hardly breathe.
The version Baekhyun had up today was without vocals but just the thought of recording with his best friend made his heart pain in his chest.
Fuck.
“Do you sing?”
“I do.” Baekhyun nodded, trying to bring his attention away from thoughts of Chanyeol.
“You’ll have to show me some time,” the boy smiled at him, eyes turning into crescent moons.
“Yeah, definitely.”
Their conversation dwindled down after that and Baekhyun plugged his earphones in, eager to start working on his assignment. Time quickly passed as the two worked on their own projects, Baekhyun caught up in his own study ethic. The boy didn’t make much noise besides the occasional groan and Baekhyun shot him sympathetic looks, staring at the cluttered papers.
Nearly two hours had passed before Baekhyun heard the loud ringing noise of a phone. He looked towards his own phone that was on the table, absentmindedly noticing that they had the same ringtone. The boy shot him a look that said ‘sorry’, picking up his phone.
“Hey, what’s up?”
Baekhyun tried to not eavesdrop but curiosity got the better of him, fingers halting.
“Why are you there? I thought you were spending time with Hannie? Oh, your AWOL friend? Yeah, I’m still here. Fuck this assignment. It’s not too bad though, I’m sitting here with this cutie.”
He winked at Baekhyun and the shorter of the two blushed, biting his lip a little in embarrassment.
“Yeah, yeah. Nah. Okay sure. Bye bye. Yeah stop. Chan, I said bye. Okay, see you soon.”
The name Chan made Baekhyun’s stomach clench and he poked his fingernail in the back of his hand, trying to calm himself. The fact that a syllable of Chanyeol’s name made him feel all weird inside was a terrible thing in itself. He really needed to get over his best friend.
Turning to face the tall boy, Baekhyun smiled at him.
“Wanna get something to eat?”
The boy - sadly - rejected Baekhyun’s offer, apologising about having to quickly rush off and pick up his stupid friend. He promised Baekhyun next time though.
“Definitely next time,” the boy assured with a wink.
It was only when the other was gone that Baekhyun realised he didn’t catch his name. Well, that was a bust.
The rest of the time passed by rather boringly and when Baekhyun packed his things up to go to his night job, he groaned a little sadly. He wished he had friends to study with at university. Besides Chanyeol he really didn’t have anyone there. That was something he needed to fix.
His shift went by quite quickly, already used to the job he had been working at for the past few months. It was only a weekday so it wasn’t too crowded. When it was reaching 10, he started packing up shop, placing the cold servers and tissues away.
As he was bending down to put the spoons away, he heard the door jingle.
“Sorry, we’re closing.”
“Mm, that’s good.”
The deep voice made Baekhyun freeze, just like the ice cream he had packed away. He stood up quickly, holding the pink cap on his head and making sure it didn’t fly off.
Chanyeol stared him down with a soft look on his face like he was glad to see him. Baekhyun’s heart started in his chest, weird feelings clawing up inside of him. Inwardly, he knew he always felt like this whenever he saw the other, but it was only now that he realised what those feelings meant.
He looked good, changing out of his black tank top into a white muscle t-shirt, material straining against his large biceps. His hair was combed back away from his face, cute ears visible. He was really handsome.
“Babe…” Baekhyun whispered, clearing his throat nervously. “Um… what are you doing here?”
Chanyeol moved a little closer to the ice cream, resting his hands on the top of the counter. He did so with ease, height giving him the ability to press his arms on the cool marble as he stared Baekhyun down.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Baekhyun shuffled a little away, turning his face downwards and wrapping his hands together. He was the last to close up shop, his co-worker Krystal having left nearly an hour ago. There was no one here to save him from this situation.
“Why do you say that?” Baekhyun chuckled apprehensively, trying to clean the counter.
“I haven’t seen you in like two weeks. You haven’t been at Music either.”
“Well,” Baekhyun let out a cough, smiling tersely at his friend. “I’ve been sick.”
“No you haven’t. I asked Kyungsoo about you and he said you were attending your other classes.”
Wincing, Baekhyun cursed Kyungsoo in his head. He continued to wipe at the tables, wet cloth sloshing against the cool marble. Purposefully moving past Chanyeol’s arms, he jerked slightly when the other reached over to grab at his hand.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m-I’m not.” Baekhyun stuttered, feeling the heat of Chanyeol’s palm seep through him.
“I haven’t seen you since we watched that movie. I’ve been to your house a few times but your mother keeps telling me that you’re out. It only just occurred to me that I can come stalk you at your workplace.”
“Well,” Baekhyun ripped his hand away, feeling the area throb. “I’m here so yes.”
“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol’s voice softened, and he stared at his friend with a confused look on his face. It hurt to see Chanyeol looking so unsure, so sad.
“Nothing.”
“Baek.”
“Chanyeol.”
“Is it because of what I told you?”
Swallowing, Baekhyun moved to look up at his best friend. He held the rag in his fingers, wrapping it around his hand. Chanyeol was staring him down, seeming especially serious. He looked pained at the thought of Baekhyun avoiding him, like this was the worst fate in the world. To Baekhyun, it kind of was. To Chanyeol? Well, he was probably being a little dramatic.
“Lu Han, right?”
“What?”
Chanyeol sounded shocked, like he didn’t expect Baekhyun to have any clue of who he was dating.
“Jongdae told me.”
“How does Jongdae know?”
“Lu Han is Min-” But Baekhyun stopped himself, closing his mouth. Telling Chanyeol that the guy he was dating was the boy Minseok had been crushing on for well over a year wouldn’t help anyone. “We’ve just heard about him before.”
“Oh,” Chanyeol let out a short breath. “So you know it’s a guy.”
“Um yes.”
“Oh good. I… uh… I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“What? That you’re gay?” Baekhyun said the words a little sceptically, hardness returning to his tone. “Well sweetie, we’ve been sucking each other off for a good nearly six months now. I think I kinda already knew.”
Chanyeol gaped at him, his mouth opening wide in surprise. While Baekhyun was usually a sassy kind of guy, he was never sassy to his friends. Especially not to his best friend. The whole situation was just getting to him and he rolled his eyes when Chanyeol stuttered awkwardly.
“Ugh, whatever.”
He threw the rag into the bin, reaching down to grab his backpack and keys. There was no way he was going to stay here any longer. Chanyeol looked so dazed like he never expected Baekhyun to talk to him like this. Like he expected Baekhyun to come running into his arms as he always did.
Baekhyun was done running into his arms.
Pausing for a second, he inwardly knew that Chanyeol hadn’t done anything wrong. They weren’t exclusive, they weren’t even together. Chanyeol probably had no feelings for Baekhyun, just how Baekhyun deluded himself into thinking the same thing. But for some reason he was angry. He was angry and he was annoyed.
“Baek…” Chanyeol called out just as Baekhyun was about to leave the store. His voice sounded a little wrecked and the older of the two stopped suddenly, turning to face his long time friend.
Although he was angry and annoyed, just the painful puppy dog look on his best friend’s face caused him to stop. Chanyeol looked so ruined, like the idea of Baekhyun running out on him was more that he could handle. His eyes searched Baekhyun, looking oh so pitiful, the elder exhaled, feelings of love unwillingly blooming for his best friend.
Letting out a sigh that said many things, Baekhyun rolled his eyes and walked towards his best friend. He wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s thick waist, planting his head directly on his chest, hearing the other’s heartbeat thump consistently underneath. Chanyeol had wrapped his arms around Baekhyun as soon as the smaller boy came within arm’s length, holding him steady and close.
They hugged without words, holding each other tight. Baekhyun remembered once thinking that kissing Chanyeol felt like returning home. Hugging Chanyeol was even more soothing, something that warmed him whole. He felt so protected in Chanyeol’s strong embrace, feeling the weight of the younger boy’s cheek rest against his hair.
“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” Baekhyun whispered into a hard chest.
Chanyeol just held him tighter, pressing his cheek even further into Baekhyun.
“I didn’t want the Dara thing to happen again. We’re so close, he… may get the wrong impression.”
It was a shitty excuse for his behaviour, and in reality, he had been staying away because of his feelings for Chanyeol. But, the boy seemed to accept the excuse, hot breath fanning over his head.
“You’re my best friend, Baek. He’ll just have to accept that.”
Usually, Chanyeol professing the strength of their friendship made Baekhyun feel strong and good. But now, with lingering feelings of unrequited love, the sincere tone only made him feel sad. Sighing, he held Chanyeol closer, making sure he took what he could get.
Their friendship returned to normal after that. Baekhyun started going to his classes again and they always hung out on Thursdays, their movie night. Unlike before, there was never any kissing and there was definitely no oral sex. It hurt Baekhyun a little, but he smiled through the pain, glad that he still had his best friend.
He had met Lu Han soon after he reconciled his friendship with Chanyeol, a special lunch date with the two of them. The boy was as pretty as Minseok had described, angelic features and lovely brown hair. He was the softest boy Baekhyun had ever seen in his life, and Baekhyun couldn’t help but appreciate how good both he and Chanyeol looked together.
Unlike the dates he had spent with Chanyeol and Dara, this time he was actually third wheeling. Chanyeol wasn’t touching him like he usually did, hands always on Lu Han. On his boyfriend. Lu Han positively lit up whenever Chanyeol moved to touch him and the sight was so sickeningly sweet, Baekhyun felt the urge to vomit.
It made feelings of resentment build up inside of him, eventually feeling even more jealous when he realised just how funny Lu Han was. The boy was so bright and jubilant, Baekhyun just wanted to jump off a cliff.
“Hey Baekhyun! I bought this for you,” Lu Han smiled at him, holding out a chocolate covered churro. “It’s really nice to finally meet you. Chanyeol talks about you all the time.”
Baekhyun smiled back a little tense, taking the churro out of his hand.
The fact that Lu Han seemed to be the nicest person in the world made everything even worse. Baekhyun couldn’t even hate the other, unwillingly liking him by the end of the date. There was nothing bad Baekhyun could say about him. He was kind, thoughtful, beautiful and he seemed to really care about Chanyeol if the way he hung off the other’s arm said anything.
By the end of the outing, Lu Han had given him a quick hug and a smile, telling him how he couldn’t wait to spend time together again. When Chanyeol gave him a warm smile too, reaching over to grab Lu Han’s hand and say goodbye, Baekhyun knew he had to get over his best friend.
He told both Jongdae and Minseok about Lu Han, feeling as sad as Minseok as he relayed just how happy the couple were together. It didn’t take long for his friends to realise his love for Chanyeol, Minseok hugging him on the side and consoling him desolately.
“This sucks,” Baekhyun said sadly, rubbing his head on Minseok’s shoulder.
“It does,” his friend replied with a loud sigh.
“It’s so sad seeing my friends like this,” Jongdae frowned at them, reaching over to pat at both of their heads.
The two didn’t move, dead in their seat. Minseok crooned a sad song and Baekhyun sang along with him, holding their combined hands up in the air.
“Are you guys going insane?” Jongdae asked, twirling his seat around to face the singing duo. Their voices cracked as they sang louder, ignoring their friend.
The days passed by rather uneventfully after that. Life returned back to normal as Baekhyun pined over his committed best friend. He missed their hugs, their kisses, their intimacy. While Chanyeol never hesitated to hug him like he had done in the past, he seemed a little more controlled now. His touches never lingered, his hugs always chaste. He had cooled down on touching Baekhyun, holding Lu Han instead.
Baekhyun didn’t blame him, smiling a little sadly when Chanyeol threw him apologetic looks. It seemed as though the other was heeding his warning about holding back on their intimacy around his new boyfriend. The Dara thing must’ve really scarred him.
It hurt Baekhyun but he just put up with it. There was nothing else he could do. He loved his best friend and if he wanted to spend time with him, then he’d have to put up with this weird space between them. A little bit of Chanyeol was better than no Chanyeol.
Lu Han had started popping up all the time, coming with Chanyeol to class and sitting in his Music lecture even if the guy didn’t study music at all. He was able to sing too which pissed Baekhyun off for some reason. Music was their thing -- Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s thing. And yet Lu Han had to intrude on that.
Chanyeol really liked the other coming along though, smile as bright as the sun whenever the petite man showed up in their class. He liked Lu Han coming so much that he asked Baekhyun if he was okay with Lu Han perhaps coming with them to the studio. Which soon became, is it okay if Lu Han came with us to the record store? Is it okay if Lu Han came for our movie night?
And so that’s what Baekhyun was doing now, cleaning his house for their movie night. His heart pained in his chest at the thought of things he used to enjoy exclusively with Chanyeol now becoming something less special. They had been dating for two months and Lu Han practically came along everywhere. Baekhyun was never alone with Chanyeol anymore.
It was okay, Baekhyun could put up with it, whatever. If it made Chanyeol happy, then Baekhyun would do anything. But, asking him if it was okay for Lu Han to come for their movie night? Ouch. That hurt a lot more than Baekhyun dared to admit. Their movie night was something special, something they had done since they were kids. And now Chanyeol was bringing his boyfriend along. His boyfriend that wasn’t Baekhyun.
Movie night wasn’t special anymore.
“Hey Baek!” Chanyeol walked in the house, hand wrapped around Lu Han.
“Hi Baekhyun,” Lu Han smiled at him, releasing Chanyeol’s hand and taking his shoes off by the door.
“Hi…” Baekhyun stood around awkwardly, already feeling as though he was third wheeling. Third wheeling in his own house, damn. This was a new level of low.
He watched as Lu Han quickly grabbed Chanyeol’s hand before perusing Baekhyun’s house. Looking at the little trinkets Baekhyun’s mother had scattered on the walls, Lu Han hummed appreciatively.
“You have a really nice house,” Lu Han said, staring at the paintings and other accessories that jazzed up his place.
“Thanks, my family travels a lot.” Baekhyun nodded, arms crossed as he stared at the cabinet of goodies from around the world. “Which is why they aren’t here.”
“Did you clean the house?” Chanyeol laughed, looking at the spotless kitchen counter that was usually filled with Baekhyun’s junk.
Blushing, Baekhyun rolled his eyes, reaching over to hit at Chanyeol’s arm. His fingers brushed the soft material of the younger boy’s shirt for a second too long. It was hard to drag his hand away.
“Wanted to make a good impression for our new… visitor.”
“Well it looks great!” Lu Han responded happily, not noticing Baekhyun’s weird energy.
They had quickly chosen a movie after that, Baekhyun taking out the leftover meat his mother had frozen in their freezer. He cooked some rice and chopped up a few vegetables, taking out some side dishes to go along with it. They ate quietly as they watched the comedy, Baekhyun sitting far away from the couple who whispered lovingly.
The sight made Baekhyun feel so lonely, watching as Chanyeol wrapped his arm around Lu Han. Watching as Lu Han snuggled into his embrace. He wanted Chanyeol to cuddle him. He wanted Chanyeol to wrap his arms around him, around Baekhyun. He wanted to feel Chanyeol’s huge palms hold him tight. He wanted to feel Chanyeol’s warmth protect him like he had done so many times since they were kids.
A choked sob built its way up into Baekhyun’s chest, forcing him to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. Not like the couple noticed him leaving anyway, too caught up in each other to realise Baekhyun had left.
When he reached the bathroom, he stared into the mirror, watching hot tears leave wet streaks down his face. The tears didn’t stop dropping, falling again and again down the pale plains of his cheeks and leaving wet patches on the edge of the sink. He couldn’t stop crying at the thought of the happy couple together, finally realising that he and Chanyeol weren’t going to have the same relationship ever again.
He let out a sob, face contorting in sorrow as he gripped the area where his heart resided, feeling the pain blossom in his chest. Chanyeol wasn’t ever going to love him the way Baekhyun loved him. Baekhyun was going to have to deal with Chanyeol loving Lu Han, while he remained the close friend on the side. He was going to have to watch them be happy together.
It hurt. It hurt so terribly. Baekhyun cried into the mirror, nose becoming stuffy. He quickly washed his face, sitting on the toilet as he waited for the signs of his crying to disappear.
“Hey, where were you?” Chanyeol asked when he came back, arm still curled around Lu Han’s shoulders.
“Ah, I think it was the dinner?” Baekhyun sounded a little off and he wondered if Chanyeol noticed it. “You guys feeling sick? I had some mad constipation.”
They sent him consolatory looks, turning back to the movie. The room was dark, lights off, and Baekhyun inwardly thanked himself for having the foresight to turn off the lights. At least now they wouldn't see the red marks under his eyes.
Taking his seat once again, Baekhyun let out a pained sigh. He really, really needed to get over Chanyeol.
*~*
Baekhyun was at university, sitting in the library the Thursday after Lu Han had joined them for their movie night. He had found himself spending more time in the library. Chanyeol hardly ever had time for him at university anymore, constantly with Lu Han. It sucked but Baekhyun found himself actually getting work done. And the work helped him try to get over the tall boy. Not like that was working, but all the same.
He was nearly finished with one of his Music assignments, tinkering with the final adjustments and liking the way the song sounded. It was something he wrote quite quickly in response to Chanyeol leaving him.
Chanyeol had no clue it was about him, no clue that he even made the song. It pained him to think that in the past, Chanyeol would’ve known about all of his assignments, all of his music. He would’ve sat down and helped Baekhyun with the chords, strumming away on his guitar, snapback on his head.
He was just about done when his phone buzzed on the table. The name ‘Babe’ popped up on the screen and Baekhyun quickly unlocked his phone, smiling happily. When he saw the message however, his smile dropped.
Hey baek sorry for the late notice but its me and luhan’s 2nd month anniv today. gotta take a rain check on our movie night will treat u to something later cya
Well then.
Baekhyun stood up, grabbing his laptop sharply. He threw open the first study room door he could see, collapsing on the ground. His bag and laptop was scattered around him as he breathed in deeply, trying to control his emotions.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Looking up suddenly, Baekhyun was faced with that same boy from all those months ago. Well, it must’ve been two months ago considering it was Chanyeol and Lu Han’s second month anniversary.
“You…” Baekhyun’s voice cracked slightly on the word and he shook his head, clearing his throat. “Hey again.”
“Hi there,” the boy smiled at him, moving his feet away from the seat once more. “You okay?”
Standing up, Baekhyun moved shyly towards the tall boy, sitting down on the seat in front of him.
“Yeah,” he breathed, placing his laptop on the table. “Just heard some unpleasant news.”
The boy frowned at him, tapping his pen on the side of his seat. “That sucks. It’s nice to see you though.”
Baekhyun grinned at him, the pain in his chest alleviating slightly. “Nice to see you too.”
Looking at the papers scattered around him once again, Baekhyun asked if he was doing another assignment.
The boy nodded, letting out a weary sigh.
“Yep, sadly. It’s always sad.”
Baekhyun laughed slightly, turning on his laptop once again.
“How’s your music thing going?” The boy asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Good, I’m just about finished one of my assignments,” he opened the program. The boy looked interested and Baekhyun turned to face him, a little shy. “Do you… want to hear it?”
The boy nodded, a smile on his face.
Pressing play, Baekhyun watched the other as he listened to the song, face revealing nothing. He raised his eyebrows when Baekhyun’s singing started playing, looking impressed. By the end of the song, he was staring at the smaller boy in awe.
“That was amazing?” The statement came out like a question and Baekhyun let out a laugh, moving over to stop the bar from running. “Holy crap.”
“Thanks,” Baekhyun smiled, sincerely. “I’m really glad you enjoyed it.”
“You sing amazing. Your song is amazing. I am amazed.”
The boy actually looked amazed and Baekhyun laughed once more. He reached over to scratch at the top of his head, watching the handsome boy blink, astonished.
“Are you busy tonight?” The boy asked, turning to face him once again. “Can I take you out for dinner?”
Letting out a surprised laugh, Baekhyun bit his lip. Was he being asked out? The boy looked genuine, like he wasn’t planning on ditching Baekhyun mid-date. He had never been on a date before. This was pretty exciting.
“No,” not anymore, Baekhyun thought a little ironically. “Sure.”
The boy looked really happy, eyes disappearing into moon-like crescents.
“Wait,” he let out an embarrassed laugh. “I don’t even know your name.”
“Oh,” Baekhyun joined him, hands clasping together. “Baekhyun. What’s yours?”
“Sehun.”
part three