Minus The Amortentia
Title: Minus the Amortentia
Rating: PG
Length: 7.1k
Side pairings: Tao/Sehun
Notes: Thank you to O and Y for being my last minute angels and to my angel C who stuck by all my whining and indecisiveness. ♡
Summary: Harry Potter AU. Minseok's last year at Hogwarts is coming to an end and Jongin doesn't have much time left. Jongdae and Sehun are there to speed things along.
Jongin sends Sehun a scathing look, adjusting his books in his arms and straightening out his robes. Potions class had finally ended and all Jongin really wanted to do was crash back in his bed and nap for the next three years. Staying up late into the night to finish his History of Magic essay he’d procrastinated had been the worst idea imaginable. And he sure didn't have enough energy to deal with Sehun fawning over his crush.
Sehun just looks on almost dreamily.
"You don't understand, Jongin," Sehun whines, multicolored bangs, courtesy of Baekhyun, falling over his eyes. "In class, Zitao was just so-"
"Gorgeous? A genius? You probably dreamed about how he’d fuck you into the-"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Sehun immediately slams a hand over Jongin's mouth, glaring angrily. He looks around warily like other students could've overheard. The hallways are practically empty; classes were over for the day by the time they'd finally finished their Potions assignment. "Shut your mouth before I bewitch it closed," he seethes. Jongin licks at Sehun's hand and his friend pulls away with a high pitched shriek and wipes his hand down Jongin's robe.
"Whatever," Jongin huffs. "But while you're too busy moaning and whining about how Zitao won't even notice you, it's not like you're doing anything to change that."
Sehun barks out a laugh. "Like you don't know anything about that."
Jongin frowns, lips pursed tightly and face flushing fast. It's true; he probably should've just kept his mouth shut.
They reach a fork in the hallway and Sehun turns towards where Jongin assumes the Slytherin commons are. He hums, scuffing his shoe against the stone floor before stepping into the hallway. Jongin knows Sehun's formulating something in his head- he knows the body language all too well.
"How about this: 50 galleons to the person who confesses first," he says, hands pushing back the fabric of his robes to slip into the back pockets of his trousers. He leans back on his heels with a gentle, yet slightly devious, smile. "What do you say?"
"Sehun, you know I can't-"
But Sehun whips out his hand from his pocket, pinkie finger outstretched before Jongin even finishes. "Come on," he whines. "It's only a win-win situation in the end."
Jongin's brows furrow in concentration because no, it isn't a win-win situation. Being rejected isn't worth 50 galleons. But the reward, his mind supplies, would be far worth it.
"It's a deal!" his friend exclaims before he even finishes thinking. Sehun pries Jongin's hand from his books and interlocks their pinkies. He smiles cheekily before rushing down the hallway and disappearing around a corner.
Exhausted, Jongin curses Sehun under his breath, completely unaware of Jongdae bursting through the corridors in his quidditch practice uniform. "Jongin!" he screeches from across the hallway, and Jongin knows that there are only bad things involved when Jongdae needs him. His mind desperately screams for the comfort of his bed that he knows he won't be seeing very soon with the unmistakable glint of mischief in Jongdae's eyes.
"Come with me!" he demands, hooking his arm around Jongin's and leading him the exact opposite direction of the Ravenclaw common room.
"But, my books," he adds a little helplessly.
With a smirk, Jongdae waves his wand and Jongin's books fly from his arms. "Jongdae, those are my books!" They whizz through the air, pages snapping with the speed of air flapping through them and Jongin has to close his eyes and pray that his books made it to his room in one piece and didn't take out someone's eye on their way there.
Jongdae simply smiles and tugs Jongin's sluggish body closer. "You need to come with me," he says with no room for arguments.
Jongin sighs, rubbing his tired eyes. All he wanted was a nap.
•••---•••
Jongdae drags him quite forcefully despite all his whines, making him trip over his robes, to the quidditch field. The Ravenclaw team is setting up on the field, bent over broomsticks and pilfering through the largest chest for quaffles.
"Guys!" Jongdae calls out, yanking on Jongin's arm. The team looks up from their spots, and the team captain Minseok's head glances over and Jongin is sure his heart stuttered in his chest. His feet lock but Jongdae tugs him forward. He blushes heavily after nearly tripping over his robes once more.
The team gathers around them, the captain standing just opposite of Jongin. His palms are starting to grow sweaty, just being brought before the guy he's been harboring a heavy crush on for four years.
"I've found our replacement for Jonghyun," he says, patting Jongin hard enough on the back that he stumbles forward.
It takes him 30 seconds to realize his friend had just pitched him as a substitute for the team's best Chaser, who was suspended from the team for leading gullible first years into the Forbidden Forest as a prank. He turns back to Jongdae, wide eyed and completely shocked, but Jongdae merely gives him a sly smile in return.
Jongin swallows thickly, feeling the team's discerning eyes scrutinizing him piece by piece. He feels particularly panicky by the way Minseok looks to be analyzing him.
"So, where do you have experience being a Chaser?" Minseok is the first to speak amidst the crowd, arms folded over his chest.
"Uh, well... in Jongdae's backyard?" Jongin wishes he could slip into the Forbidden Forest just long enough to hide his embarrassment.
Minseok seems to purse his lips thinner in scrutiny. Jongin's lungs feel like they're being constricted more tightly in his chest with every second that passes. He swallows thickly, just wishing today’s lesson in Potions had been an invisibility serum that he could use this instant.
“Well, I don’t see why we can’t give him a shot,” Jinri, the team’s second best Chaser says, offering a warm smile for Jongin. “We can’t compete unless we find a replacement.”
“But that’s what tryouts were for at the beginning of the year,” Soojung adds, looking the most disgruntled of the group. Jongin subconsciously takes a step back.
Luhan, the team’s Beater alongside Minseok, steps in. “Look, give him a chance. If he isn’t up to your standards, we’ll call in our backups. Otherwise, we may as well take any shortcuts we can. We can’t keep pushing off practice like this.”
With excitement bubbling in Jongdae, he hooks an arm around Jongin’s neck and pulls him back towards him. “You guys are going to be amazed by what Jongin can do. If he’d shown up to tryouts when I’d asked him to-”
“Jongdae,” Jongin hisses under his breath.
“-he could’ve very well made the team.”
“Alright, settle down.” Minseok finally speaks up again. Jongin immediately turns his eyes to the ground when their gazes meet, a prickly heat climbing up the back of his neck. “We’ll give him a shot, Jongdae. He better be as good as you say.”
Jongdae bounces on his heels, gripping Jongin tighter. “Great! You’ll be impressed. Promise!”
Jongin lets his shoulders sag with the weight of the pressure that was just piled onto him. He throws Jongdae a last, weary glance, exasperated, with a promise to strangle Jongdae later, before he sheds his school robes and follows Minseok to the side of the field.
“Suit up,” Minseok says, tossing Jongin Ravenclaw’s blue quidditch robes. “You’ll have to play in your school clothes until we can find a uniform for you.”
Jongin slides into the robes. His mind is clear enough to remember to grab a pair of gloves from the bench and slip his trembling hands into them. He’s never played quidditch so formally before, he hasn’t even played quidditch with Jongdae for that long. They’d only played back at their homes in the countryside. As soon as Jongdae had learned how to ride a broomstick in his first year, he’d come back for winter break and during that time taught Jongin as best as he could, just so they could play together.
The memories calm his thudding heart and his sweaty palms. All he has to do is ensure he won’t make a fool of himself in front of the entire Ravenclaw quidditch team.
He heaves a sigh, pushing his bangs from his face.
Minseok steps away from the bench and looks at him expectantly. Suddenly nervous, Jongin pats down his trouser pockets and runs a mental checklist of equipment he’s supposed to be wearing. He’s already got on as much of the uniform as he’s going to get at this point. Do quidditch players wear protective gear like soccer players? No, Jongin shakes his head, that would be ridiculous. Right?
Minseok clears his throat, nodding in the direction of the Nimbus 3000 propped up on the bench. “Your broom,” he says, readjusting his own Firebolt in his grip.
Jongin swallows thickly, laughing nervously as he picks up the broom and shuffles back over. Minseok looks slightly amused, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, when the broom plops to the ground, slipping from Jongin’s sweaty grip.
Jongin flushes, quickly trying to gather himself together as he picks the broom back up. He raises a hand to dust it off before he realizes just exactly what he was about to do.
Smiling, Minseok kicks one leg over his broom and pushes off from the ground, slowly floating into the air. “Kick off, and we’ll get started.”
Jongin nods, settling onto his broom and kicking off from the ground. His flight is a little shaky but once he’s airborne, he gets his broom steadied out and his stomach eases when he’s handed a quaffle and Jongdae winks at him from across the field.
All he has to do is just imagine this as another game between Jongdae and himself.
(And maybe try to forget Minseok’s warm brown eyes watching him.)
•••---•••
When practice finally ends and Jongin can finally threaten Jongdae’s life for pulling a stunt like that, shower, and crawl into his bed, he thinks back to flying on that broomstick, back to how good he felt playing quidditch. His heart was practically in the clouds, and before he’d even noticed, the anxiety eating at his stomach had dissipated. Sure, he’d found himself hanging in the air by the tip of the broom more than what was probably acceptable for joining the team, but he’d loved the joy that playing quidditch has always been for him. Even when he’d played before he understood he was magical and when the only broom he had was the one he’d taken from the kitchen cupboard, it had always been the one thing he’d enjoyed doing.
But it’s two days of Jongin biting away at his nails in nervousness before Jongdae is bursting into his room after his lessons, sending Jongin’s scrolls flying off his bed. His friend at least has the decency to look a bit sheepish, and with a flick of his wand, piles up all the books and scrolls on Jongin’s desk- even if they are all out of order.
Jongdae eagerly plops himself onto the bed, clinging tightly to Jongin’s arm. “You made it! You can be the Chaser this year!”
Jongin’s entire body stills, fingers still locked around his quill. “I made it?”
Jongdae nods eagerly, grip tightening. All the tension and anxiety that’d built up in Jongin’s body suddenly floods out of him, he exhales, and he flops bonelessly back onto his pillow. He closes his eyes, taking in another shaky breath.
“I did it,” he mutters to himself, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. "I can't believe it."
"Minseok made the decision this morning. Said you were the best Chaser out of their backups and maybe even Jonghyun himself."
Jongin raises his eyebrow.
"Okay, so maybe he didn't mention anything about Jonghyun. But I think you're at least better than Soojung," Jongdae huffs. He lightly shoves Jongin's shoulder with a smile wide on his face.
Jongin can't help the fluttering in his heart. Minseok had said he was good. Probably really good if he could beat out the backups.
"Oh, but my classes." Jongin feels the elation in his chest fall. "Jongdae, I'm practically failing Potions and Herbology.”
“Look,” Jongdae starts, shuffling over Jongin’s bed until he’s sitting before his friend with his legs crossed, “we really need you. Jonghyun is out for the season and we’ll have to waste another week of practice just to go through our replacements. And I know just how much you enjoy quidditch. Jongin, you haven’t even seen the look on your face when you played just two days ago. The last time I saw you that happy was when my parents took us to the Quidditch World Cup six years ago.”
Jongin sighs, sinking further into his bed. Of course he loves quidditch, but he has no experience. He’s never even had a broomstick of his own, considering he’d been the last child after four older sisters who’d only blinked at the sport when they needed it in conversation. And maybe he’s a little terrified of the pressure that comes with replacing the best Chaser on the team- maybe even the best Chaser in Hogwarts. It’s a lot of expectations to live up to, expectations he’s never had on his shoulders, and he isn’t sure if he can deal with the burden.
“Jongin, quidditch makes you happy. And if you’re really worried about your classes, I’ll help. I can’t really tutor you in Herbology, but I’ll find someone who can.” Jongdae grabs Jongin’s hand, clutching it tight. “Please?”
Jongin has been friends with Jongdae for years, and for all that time he’s never learned how to say no to the boy who picked him up from the playground and cleaned his scraped knee or the man who never left him behind, even when he traveled millions of miles just to change his future.
“If you help,” Jongin pauses, watching as the light in Jongdae’s eyes slowly burns brighter. He can’t help but smile. “Then I guess I can do this for you.”
Jongdae cheers, wrapping Jongin in his arms eagerly. “You won’t regret this, I promise!” He pulls Jongin away from him with a satisfied sigh, looking at Jongin with as much gratefulness as could be portrayed in his eyes. He then tugs Jongin off the bed.
“Practice starts in an hour and we’re going to need to find a uniform that fits you,” he explains, slamming the door to Jongin’s dorm shut and pulling him down the winding staircase to the common room. “And I’ll need to explain a few of our plays too.”
Jongin smiles and lets himself be dragged through the corridors. His heart has always settled easily into his chest when Jongdae smiles brightly back at him.
•••---•••
Practice is like nothing Jongin expects. Minseok drills them hard and drills him the hardest of everyone. Jongin understands of course. Jongdae assures him Minseok only has the best interest of the team and is trying to train Jongin’s raw talent as a Chaser, but it doesn’t comfort him all that much when the only words he speaks are soft apologies.
After the first week of practice, Jongin is unbelievably sore. Every muscle in his arms and thighs ache. And the bruise blooming at his side from a wayward bludger grew more painful by the day. He’d nearly fallen from fifty feet in the air when the bludger blindsided him, but he had luckily locked his ankles around his broom just as he’d been struck and only found himself hung upside down, midair.
(Of course Minseok had attuned the team to practice with the bludgers, Jongin had yet to learn just how painful being hit by a bludger was.)
Plus, balancing his classes proves to be no easy feat either when quidditch practice runs every other day of the week, sometimes more often if Minseok manages to squeeze in another hour or two of one-on-one practice with him. He finds himself drifting to sleep in his Charms lessons and performs the sloppiest transfigurations out of the entire class. He’d probably be failing Potions even worse if it wasn’t for Sehun picking up his slack with a sympathetic smile.
Jongin’s schedule changes so that at any given time, he is either cramming in homework, practicing quidditch, or catching even just a wink of sleep. When Jongdae notices Jongin starts skipping out on lunch or dinner to hole himself away in the library, he drags Jongin back to the dining hall and changes their tutoring sessions to be during the least busy hours of the dining hall. Jongdae is the one who often has to drag Jongin from his bed on early Saturday mornings for extra practice and stays up with him late into the night to finish homework.
And the tutor for Herbology Jongdae finds him is none other than Minseok, apparently the best of the seventh years in the course. Minseok tutors him in the common room on Wednesdays and Fridays after practice and gets him a B on the first exam (the grade Jongin had dreamed that he’d earn one day). Then, he shoves his test paper excitedly into Minseok’s face with his smile contagious and his heart thumping wildly in his chest.
(He never admits how distracted he was during their study sessions by the way Minseok would bite down on his thick, pink lips when he was in thought or the way Minseok’s eyes curved pleasantly when Jongin answered a question correctly. Nor does he admit how much more he studied into the night just to impress Minseok. The crush he’s been nursing for years now only grows heavier.)
But there are the harder days, the days when Jongin’s heart falls to his feet when he has to shove the D’s and C’s on essays into his books or when he has to nurse the painful bruise from another bludger by himself. The days when the pressure has built so heavily on his shoulders that he actually slumps from the weight are the worst.
“Once more,” Minseok chides, hovering closer on his broom and tossing the quaffle back. Autumn is fast disappearing and winter is slowly setting in with the chilling wind biting at his bones through his uniform. Their first match is against Hufflepuff and is in just a few weeks and the pressure has only been building up like mountains on Jongin’s shoulders. Every Ravenclaw that passes by him in the hallway knows he’s on the team, and they all clap him on the back or cheer for him and tell him how high their expectations are and he isn’t sure he can climb those mountains.
Tired, Jongin opens his arms to catch the quaffle before his vision vaguely swims before him and the ball flops right through his hands. He sighs, swoops down to pick the ball off the ground and soars back up to the middle of the stadium, high off the ground.
He aims for the ground, planning to skim low and avoid the bludgers until he can swoop back up and pitch the quaffle into the goalpost. But when he’s skimming along the ground, almost too fast for him to control when he’s so tired, he doesn’t see the bludger in his peripheral until it’s too late and the breath is knocked straight from his lungs. He tumbles off his broom, skidding a few feet into the ground and still unable to breathe.
Minseok’s at his side, wand raised, worry flooding his eyes. Jongin coughs, clutching his side, until he can force air through his lungs again. His face is burning from embarrassment.
When he catches his breath, he doesn’t feel particularly inclined to sit back up again. The bruise is already stinging, and he feels like it’ll hurt worse if he moves but he feels so weak sprawled out in front of Minseok. And the pressure, the expectations, they’re heavier on his chest than they had been on his shoulders. They’re practically crushing him.
Minseok heaves a sigh and pulls out a potion vial from his pocket. “Take this. Wiggenweld- it’ll heal up that bruise.”
Jongin nods, taking the vial with shaky hands and carefully tipping it against his bottom lip. He closes his eyes and swallows down what he can and wipes away the bit that leaks past the corner of his lips and trails down the side of his face. His stomach starts to feel a bit numb at first, but it finally warms up and the pain is slowly starting to dissipate.
Silence falls on the field, even the wind falls silent. Jongin digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, as if that could stop the turmoil in his head. His chest is tight and he’s got a lump in his throat because he can feel Minseok’s eyes boring into him.
Ravenclaw’s team captain Kim Minseok. The same man that’s drilled him until he’s collapsed and the same man that smiled so brightly for him at two in the morning when Jongin had finally and correctly finished the Herbology practice exam. Minseok, the same man that had flooded Jongin’s whole chest with warmth during that first week of Hogwarts when he’d showed Jongin the way to class when he’d been lost. His smile was so enchanting then, it still is just as enchanting. It makes Jongin’s knees weak.
But this was also the same Kim Minseok that was Head Boy, prefect in the years previous, youngest captain of the Ravenclaw quidditch team, and still has top grades. And jealousy suddenly swirls so sickly in Jongin’s stomach because while he’s suffocating under all the pressure grades and trying not to let his house down, Kim Minseok seems to be managing everything just fine.
Jongin just wants this to be easier. Since when did playing quidditch wipe the smile from his face- the smile Jongdae had liked so much?
The grass rustles as Minseok shifts. Jongin lifts his hands from his eyes, watching as Minseok lies back in the grass beside him. Jongin turns his eyes back to the sky, shivering as another chilling gust of wind bites at his cheeks.
“What’s on your mind?” Minseok asks. Jongin can see Minseok turning to look at him but Jongin isn’t in the mood to look back.
“It’s nothing.” But Jongin is just forcing words out of his mouth. It’s tearing down the weak walls he’d been building to lock himself away from the pressure more than it’s strengthening them.
Minseok raises his eyebrow. Jongin knows there’s no way to fool Minseok about anything. He tried with a Herbology essay he hadn’t done so well on, even after he had a full discussion with Minseok about it. But somehow Minseok had figured out by the way Jongin was fidgeting nervously and chewing on his lip and of course he hadn’t been upset, Minseok is never upset, but Jongin had felt a lot of disappointment.
And Jongin’s sure feeling a lot more disappointment now.
“Look, if you don’t think you can handle it any more, then I’m willing to drop you. I know Jongdae didn’t bring you to that team meeting willingly. And it’ll be easy for me to find a replacement for you- if that’s anything you’re concerned about.”
Jongin stubbornly shakes his head. "I couldn't do that to you. Or to Jongdae. You guys have put in so much time for me and I won't just take without giving back."
The field falls silent for a moment. Then Minseok turns so he's lying on his side, head propped up on the palm of his hand. "You know, sometimes we have to be the superheros that people make us out to be."
Minseok sighs, plucking a few blades of grass. "I'm not so great at these pep talks," he starts, smiling when he hears Jongin chuckle. "Shocking, isn't it? The team captain can't even make a nice speech to encourage his teammate."
Jongin huffs a laugh. "Well if the point of your speech was that this gets easier, then I don't think it worked."
Minseok shakes his head. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but it doesn't get any easier the closer we get to our match with Hufflepuff."
"Right. Of course." Jongin can't help his stomach clenching.
“Do you think you can sit up?”
Sighing, Jongin sits back up, propping himself up on his hands. He looks down at the wide expanse of the field, feeling a whole lot smaller.
“Jongin, do you know why I let you be Chaser this year?”
He frowns, unsure about how to feel after hearing that. “I sure hope it was because I was at least a little good.”
Minseok lets out a small chuckle, and even when Jongin’s body is strung taught, it still manages to make his stomach flop. “What I was going to say is that while, yes, you’re good, you also love it.”
Jongin hopes he isn’t blushing too visibly. He folds his knees up, encircles his arms around his shins, and props his chin on his knees.
“You’ll never be able to see it in yourself but, Jongin, you have so much passion- more than probably half the members on this team’s got.” Minseok stands, dusting the grass from his pants and smiling down at Jongin sincerely. “And the effect you have on this team? It’s something amazing to watch.”
Minseok helps him up, steadying him when his vision swims. The serum still tastes a little sickly in his throat. He doesn’t really believe the team captain, but he finds that his heart is a little bit lighter.
They start walking towards where Jongin’s broom had landed, quite a few meters out on the field. Minseok kicks up patches of dirt along the way. “I kind of wish I could push my team like you’ve been able to. But this is my last year and I’m going to do what I can to make this the best year for the Ravenclaw quidditch team.”
He bends down and picks up Jongin’s broom, locking it in Jongin’s hands. Jongin’s heart flops as Minseok’s hands brush against his.
“What do you say, Jongin? Are you going to get up there one more time?”
Jongin’s shoulders are still heavy and his chest is still tight, but he looks down at Minseok, at the hope that’s poorly veiled by indifference.
“Yeah,” he nods. He presses his palms into his eyes, waiting for his vision to return before he swings one leg over his broom. “I think I’m ready to try once more.”
Minseok smiles, brighter than Jongin’s ever seen and he wants to do anything to keep that smile there. And no matter how things go, Minseok will be behind him, supporting him. Maybe he’ll be Minseok’s support too.
•••---•••
They beat Hufflepuff.
While Jongin, Jinri, and Soojung had scored quite a few goals, Jongin’s proud of all the goals he’d scored against the Hufflepuff goalie, Jongdae had caught the snitch. The entire stadium had fallen silent as Jongdae shot up through the clouds with Kyungsoo, the Hufflepuff Seeker, hot on his trail, but Jongdae was the one to swoop over the crowd with the snitch in his hand, a smile so wide on his face.
Jongin’s heart was soaring so unbelievably high. After he’d landed, Jongdae had come running straight for him and locked him in a tight hug. “We did it, Jongin! We’re going to the finals!”
“I know,” he cheers, voice soft amidst the crowd’s bellows and the team huddling around them, cheering for their win. Soon the entire team joins in on their group hug, just as it turns into a dog pile on top of Jongdae who kicks and whines until they get off of him.
Jongin looks out into the crowd, sees all the Ravenclaws cheering their name- his name- and all the stress and pressure up to this point was worth it.
His eyes catch Minseok’s among the crowd, and the team captain smiles. Jongin can’t help the unbidden smile he returns.
•••---•••
Slytherin wins in their match against Gryffindor, putting them one step closer to winning, but the final matches of the season won’t happen until the end of the school year. But now, it’s winter break with the school grounds covered in a foot of snow and the school slowly emptying out.
Jongin is late, having spent extra time making last minute preparations in his room. He closes and locks his door, and drags his suitcase down the windy staircase. Jongdae already left and is waiting for him at the front gates. Most of the entire student body has already left.
But Jongin is looking for Minseok on his way out and luckily finds the team captain curled up on a deep blue couch in front of the fireplace, wrapped up in a maroon sweater and a book propped open in his lap. When he approaches, Minseok startles, eyes wide.
“Jongin? I had thought you would’ve left already.” Minseok marks his page before shutting the book and standing from the couch. His sweater is a bit too big for him- it stretches over his palms, leaving his small fingers to peek out from beneath the sleeves, and it hangs off his shoulders. Jongin swallows.
“I just-” he quickly rummages through his suitcase and pulls out a present he wrapped. The paper is wrinkled and torn, and he’s fairly embarrassed by the state of the wrapping, but he hands it over with shaky fingers and his face burning red. “Merry Christmas, Minseok.”
Smiling, Minseok takes the package and quickly tears through the wrapping. Jongin had asked his parents to send him a blue and black striped knitted beanie, the very one Minseok pulls from the box.
“Wow, thank you, Jongin,” he breathes, immediately sliding the beanie over his messy brown hair and tugging it so it slips over his ears. Jongin thinks he really likes the way it looks on Minseok.
“It’s nothing,” he stutters. “It’s just something for you. For Christmas, you know. And as a thank you gift too. And I thought you might like it since it’s really cold outside and you’d be cold if you went to Hogsmeade without a hat.” Jongin wishes his mouth would stop running.
But Minseok simply chuckles and tugs on the beanie. “I really like it, Jongin. Thanks.”
The back of his neck prickles with heat. He hopes Minseok can’t see him blush in the dim lighting of the common room. “Don’t mention it,” he mutters. His heart is beating far faster than normal.
“Have a nice Christmas, Jongin! Don’t eat too much food or you won’t be able to get back on your broom,” Minseok jokes, eyes curving pleasantly. It eases a bit of the tension twisting in Jongin’s stomach.
“Y-Yeah, I’ll do that,” he says. He zips up his suitcase and glances down at his watch. Jongdae will be so furious if they miss the train back. “I have to go now but I’ll be waiting for next semester.”
Minseok plops back down on the couch and pulls his book back onto his lap. “Next semester. Maybe we’ll even win the Quidditch Cup this year.”
Nodding eagerly, Jongin grabs his suitcase and waves one last goodbye. His heart is beating so erratically that he nearly runs into the door on his way out, but the image of Minseok’s smile keeps him content on the train ride home.
(The image of Minseok’s smile makes his heart ache over the winter break. He forgets pieces of that smile with every day and wishes he could see that smile forever.)
Just six more months before Minseok graduates and leaves. The panic settles uneasily in the pit of his stomach for the month of winter break.
•••---•••
Winter break gives Jongin enough time to rest back up for quidditch. It gives him time to sort things out for himself. He knows that since Ravenclaw’s in the finals, the pressure will be even heavier, but he knows the entire team has to feel the same burden- and Jongdae has to bear the worst of it. The burden is something the team bears together, though, and Jongin knows they can do well this match.
For most of the new semester, Jongdae is locked away in his room, cramming as much last minute preparation for the OWLS as he can. He only emerges from his room for quidditch practice and on the occasion to move to the library, but even with all the studying he has to do, he never forgets to send Jongin a warm smile when he passes. Jongin does what he can to help his friend like sneaking food from the dining hall or even just tossing Jongdae’s laundry with his own. And though Jongdae doesn’t say anything, Jongin knows he’s grateful for any help he can get.
They win against Gryffindor, despite all the struggle. The match had gone on nearly three times as long as their match against Hufflepuff and Jongdae had nearly taken a fall from a hundred feet in the air trying to catch the snitch, but nevertheless, they’d done it. Slytherin easily defeats Hufflepuff, putting them at the top of the bracket as Ravenclaw’s final opponent for the Quidditch Cup.
And from what Jongin hears from whispers in the common room, Minseok is already set for graduation. He’d gotten what he wanted; he became an Auror. With top grades, it was hard not for Minseok to be accepted.
Jongin can’t help but think about how long he has waited to even consider telling Minseok he likes him. Sehun continues to remind him about their bet and something nags at the back of his mind that he should just tell Minseok. Do it and get it over with. Even if it doesn’t work out, his mind helpfully supplies, Minseok will already be gone from Hogwarts.
“Jongin?”
He looks up and smiles. The flames from the common room’s fireplace flicker and dance along Minseok’s pale skin. It’s late and the common room is empty on a Thursday night when everyone is supposed to be asleep.
Minseok sits beside him, pressing close enough into his side that the brush of Minseok’s skin against his makes him shiver.
“Can’t sleep?”
Jongin shakes his head, curls himself further into his sweater. Spring is already here but Jongin often finds himself pulling out his sweatshirts for comfort. “I just needed to think.”
Minseok purses his lips and nods. He must be on rounds, Jongin thinks. The golden badge pinned to Minseok’s shirt glimmers with the light of the fireplace.
“Worried about quidditch again?”
Jongin sighs, tugging the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his balled fists. “Not exactly,” he says, laughing a little humorlessly at himself.
“Then I’m not sure I have a pep talk for you,” Minseok says, smiling. Jongin’s heart twists almost painfully in his chest.
He could ask. He could confess right now while they’re alone, right now when Minseok doesn’t have to coach practices or when Jongin is being dragged off by Sehun to study. He could admit his feelings right now while his heart is so painfully exposed on his sleeve and he could quell the worries winding tighter around his lungs, suffocating him.
But just as fast as the courage had come, it spills out like a full cup tipped over and Jongin is left breathless and a little hollow.
He sneaks a glance. There’s something off about the way Minseok sits. He’s anxious by the way his teeth dig into his bottom lip and the way his leg nervously bounces against the floor. Minseok doesn’t meet his gaze when he’s sure he’s been staring long enough for it to be noticeable.
“I’m just going to go to bed,” he breathes out, standing, waiting for a sudden bout of courage to overtake him, make him ramble off all the feelings he’s been keeping bottled up for four long years. But it never comes, and though it seems like there’s something Minseok wants to say before he leaves, it doesn’t come.
“Goodnight, Jongin,” he says, smile diminishing. Jongin leaves and tucks himself into bed before he can ponder on it any longer. His heart proves to be restless during the night.
There are just three months left and Jongin’s starting to feel afraid he’ll regret never taking this chance.
•••---•••
Tension is high in the Ravenclaw dorms, now that the final match has approached and now just isn’t the time for Jongin to say anything. He is gathered with the team, starting to sweat through his clothes. He keeps tugging on the collar of his jersey and wiping his palms down his trousers before he slips his gloves back on. Jongdae looks at him from across the room, eyes weary but still filled with that eager glint.
“Alright guys, bring it in,” Minseok calls out above the cheers of the crowd thundering in Jongin’s ears. The team gathers, heads put together and nervous smiles on all their faces. Jongin’s never seen Jongdae so nervous before, and it only serves to spur his anxiety further.
And for a brief moment, the stadium falls silent. The crowd disappears, the Slytherin team disappears, and it’s just the team- their team. Minseok meets his teammates gazes with a soft smile, eyes showing no worry.
“No matter how today goes,” Minseok starts, shakily inhaling, “I want you guys to know it’s been an honor playing with you.”
Jongin notices Jinri and Soojung press their lips tight together. Luhan hooks an arm around Minseok’s waist and tugs him closer. Jongdae shoves Minseok’s shoulder playfully, trying to hide his watery smile behind overly bright eyes.
Jongin himself can’t help but swallow thickly.
“So for this match, whether we win or lose, make it our best match.”
And Minseok meets gazes with Jongin specifically, sharing a small, shy smile. He sends a subtle nod back.
The stadium returns, the noise comes flooding back into Jongin’s ears and he’s almost dizzy by the shock. The team breaks, just as the whistle blows to start the match.
Jongin exhales, kicking a leg over his broom and takes off to the center of the pitch. Minseok soon flies up behind him, offering him a pat on the back.
“Good luck,” he whispers, sending Jongin’s stomach flopping. “You’ll do great in today’s match.”
He’s nervous, his hands are shaking enough to slip off the broom if he’s not careful. He closes his eyes and imagines playing quidditch, just like he’d done for the Hufflepuff match, just as he’d done for the impromptu tryout. He lets the feeling of elation hold him up in the air and ease the tension from his chest.
A fire ignites his heart. The quaffle is tossed into the field and he dives.
•••---•••
His bangs are plastered to his forehead by the sweat. It drips down this side of his neck and makes his shirt cling uncomfortably to his skin. He has the quaffle in his arms and although exhaustion is steadily clinging tighter to his bones, he fakes out the goalie and is just about to score when the crowd suddenly falls silent.
Jongin chances a glance to the field, looking for Jongdae, but the Seeker is nowhere in sight. He holds his breath as the Slytherin Chasers start advancing down the field.
Just as he’s about to swipe the quaffle, the crowd’s cheers thunder in his ears. He stutters mid-flight and looks around for Jongdae, heart beating in his ears and praying that Jongdae is the one swooping down triumphantly with the snitch in hand.
It is. Jongdae drops from the cloud, and dives low over the crowd, snitch in hand. Ravenclaw wins the match.
All the tension leaks out from Jongin’s body as he swoops down to land. Jinri and Luhan are already on the ground, cheering and pulling more of their teammates that land into a hug. Jongin lands just before Minseok and gets pulled into the hug by Luhan’s hands.
Jongdae is the last to land, flourishing the snitch with the brightest smile Jongin has ever seen on his best friend. His heart couldn’t be any lighter.
For a moment, Jongin closes his eyes and takes in the stadium. Right now is probably the best moment of his life.
His eyes fly open when he feels a hand tugging him back. It’s Minseok, eyes excited and bright and Jongin can’t help the way his heart jumps to his throat.
“Jongin, we did it! We won!” he shouts, and before Jongin can even blink, Minseok’s got an arm wrapped around his neck and tugs him down until their lips meet. His eyes are wide, his hands are locked, and all the breath has been sucked from his lungs and he’s dizzy.
Minseok pulls back, a shy pink dusting his face but eyes still wide, worried. He bites down on his bottom lip and starts slinking back into the noise of the team when Jongin tugs him back by the wrist and kisses him, more sure of himself than their first.
First kiss; he’s a bit breathless. Minseok had taken his first kiss not quite like how Jongin had imagined, but it had been just as wondrous all the same.
Minseok smiles against his lips before he pulls away, hands pressing at Jongin’s hips. Jongin can hardly breathe.
“Wow,” he exhales, smile so wide on his face he thinks it may split. His tongue is thick and sticky in his mouth and he thinks his heart may have stopped beating.
“Yeah,” Minseok replies, suddenly nervous by the way his fingers tremble at Jongin’s hip. “I’ve been kind of wanting to do that.”
Jongin chuckles. “Me too.” He pulls Minseok in and kisses him again, feeling his chest light up from the thrill of it all. Minseok feels just at home in his arms like he’d imagined. He’s never felt more sure in himself than now.
Minseok looks up with bright eyes that assure him the same.
•••---•••
(When the celebrations die down, Jongin’s lips swollen from the numerous times he’d snuck kisses from Minseok, he feels the weight of something in his pocket. He opens the card to find a voice message from Sehun.
“You were late by just five minutes!” it screeches at him. “I’ll be waiting for those 50 galleons!”)
Rating: PG
Length: 7.1k
Side pairings: Tao/Sehun
Notes: Thank you to O and Y for being my last minute angels and to my angel C who stuck by all my whining and indecisiveness. ♡
Summary: Harry Potter AU. Minseok's last year at Hogwarts is coming to an end and Jongin doesn't have much time left. Jongdae and Sehun are there to speed things along.
Jongin sends Sehun a scathing look, adjusting his books in his arms and straightening out his robes. Potions class had finally ended and all Jongin really wanted to do was crash back in his bed and nap for the next three years. Staying up late into the night to finish his History of Magic essay he’d procrastinated had been the worst idea imaginable. And he sure didn't have enough energy to deal with Sehun fawning over his crush.
Sehun just looks on almost dreamily.
"You don't understand, Jongin," Sehun whines, multicolored bangs, courtesy of Baekhyun, falling over his eyes. "In class, Zitao was just so-"
"Gorgeous? A genius? You probably dreamed about how he’d fuck you into the-"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Sehun immediately slams a hand over Jongin's mouth, glaring angrily. He looks around warily like other students could've overheard. The hallways are practically empty; classes were over for the day by the time they'd finally finished their Potions assignment. "Shut your mouth before I bewitch it closed," he seethes. Jongin licks at Sehun's hand and his friend pulls away with a high pitched shriek and wipes his hand down Jongin's robe.
"Whatever," Jongin huffs. "But while you're too busy moaning and whining about how Zitao won't even notice you, it's not like you're doing anything to change that."
Sehun barks out a laugh. "Like you don't know anything about that."
Jongin frowns, lips pursed tightly and face flushing fast. It's true; he probably should've just kept his mouth shut.
They reach a fork in the hallway and Sehun turns towards where Jongin assumes the Slytherin commons are. He hums, scuffing his shoe against the stone floor before stepping into the hallway. Jongin knows Sehun's formulating something in his head- he knows the body language all too well.
"How about this: 50 galleons to the person who confesses first," he says, hands pushing back the fabric of his robes to slip into the back pockets of his trousers. He leans back on his heels with a gentle, yet slightly devious, smile. "What do you say?"
"Sehun, you know I can't-"
But Sehun whips out his hand from his pocket, pinkie finger outstretched before Jongin even finishes. "Come on," he whines. "It's only a win-win situation in the end."
Jongin's brows furrow in concentration because no, it isn't a win-win situation. Being rejected isn't worth 50 galleons. But the reward, his mind supplies, would be far worth it.
"It's a deal!" his friend exclaims before he even finishes thinking. Sehun pries Jongin's hand from his books and interlocks their pinkies. He smiles cheekily before rushing down the hallway and disappearing around a corner.
Exhausted, Jongin curses Sehun under his breath, completely unaware of Jongdae bursting through the corridors in his quidditch practice uniform. "Jongin!" he screeches from across the hallway, and Jongin knows that there are only bad things involved when Jongdae needs him. His mind desperately screams for the comfort of his bed that he knows he won't be seeing very soon with the unmistakable glint of mischief in Jongdae's eyes.
"Come with me!" he demands, hooking his arm around Jongin's and leading him the exact opposite direction of the Ravenclaw common room.
"But, my books," he adds a little helplessly.
With a smirk, Jongdae waves his wand and Jongin's books fly from his arms. "Jongdae, those are my books!" They whizz through the air, pages snapping with the speed of air flapping through them and Jongin has to close his eyes and pray that his books made it to his room in one piece and didn't take out someone's eye on their way there.
Jongdae simply smiles and tugs Jongin's sluggish body closer. "You need to come with me," he says with no room for arguments.
Jongin sighs, rubbing his tired eyes. All he wanted was a nap.
•••---•••
Jongdae drags him quite forcefully despite all his whines, making him trip over his robes, to the quidditch field. The Ravenclaw team is setting up on the field, bent over broomsticks and pilfering through the largest chest for quaffles.
"Guys!" Jongdae calls out, yanking on Jongin's arm. The team looks up from their spots, and the team captain Minseok's head glances over and Jongin is sure his heart stuttered in his chest. His feet lock but Jongdae tugs him forward. He blushes heavily after nearly tripping over his robes once more.
The team gathers around them, the captain standing just opposite of Jongin. His palms are starting to grow sweaty, just being brought before the guy he's been harboring a heavy crush on for four years.
"I've found our replacement for Jonghyun," he says, patting Jongin hard enough on the back that he stumbles forward.
It takes him 30 seconds to realize his friend had just pitched him as a substitute for the team's best Chaser, who was suspended from the team for leading gullible first years into the Forbidden Forest as a prank. He turns back to Jongdae, wide eyed and completely shocked, but Jongdae merely gives him a sly smile in return.
Jongin swallows thickly, feeling the team's discerning eyes scrutinizing him piece by piece. He feels particularly panicky by the way Minseok looks to be analyzing him.
"So, where do you have experience being a Chaser?" Minseok is the first to speak amidst the crowd, arms folded over his chest.
"Uh, well... in Jongdae's backyard?" Jongin wishes he could slip into the Forbidden Forest just long enough to hide his embarrassment.
Minseok seems to purse his lips thinner in scrutiny. Jongin's lungs feel like they're being constricted more tightly in his chest with every second that passes. He swallows thickly, just wishing today’s lesson in Potions had been an invisibility serum that he could use this instant.
“Well, I don’t see why we can’t give him a shot,” Jinri, the team’s second best Chaser says, offering a warm smile for Jongin. “We can’t compete unless we find a replacement.”
“But that’s what tryouts were for at the beginning of the year,” Soojung adds, looking the most disgruntled of the group. Jongin subconsciously takes a step back.
Luhan, the team’s Beater alongside Minseok, steps in. “Look, give him a chance. If he isn’t up to your standards, we’ll call in our backups. Otherwise, we may as well take any shortcuts we can. We can’t keep pushing off practice like this.”
With excitement bubbling in Jongdae, he hooks an arm around Jongin’s neck and pulls him back towards him. “You guys are going to be amazed by what Jongin can do. If he’d shown up to tryouts when I’d asked him to-”
“Jongdae,” Jongin hisses under his breath.
“-he could’ve very well made the team.”
“Alright, settle down.” Minseok finally speaks up again. Jongin immediately turns his eyes to the ground when their gazes meet, a prickly heat climbing up the back of his neck. “We’ll give him a shot, Jongdae. He better be as good as you say.”
Jongdae bounces on his heels, gripping Jongin tighter. “Great! You’ll be impressed. Promise!”
Jongin lets his shoulders sag with the weight of the pressure that was just piled onto him. He throws Jongdae a last, weary glance, exasperated, with a promise to strangle Jongdae later, before he sheds his school robes and follows Minseok to the side of the field.
“Suit up,” Minseok says, tossing Jongin Ravenclaw’s blue quidditch robes. “You’ll have to play in your school clothes until we can find a uniform for you.”
Jongin slides into the robes. His mind is clear enough to remember to grab a pair of gloves from the bench and slip his trembling hands into them. He’s never played quidditch so formally before, he hasn’t even played quidditch with Jongdae for that long. They’d only played back at their homes in the countryside. As soon as Jongdae had learned how to ride a broomstick in his first year, he’d come back for winter break and during that time taught Jongin as best as he could, just so they could play together.
The memories calm his thudding heart and his sweaty palms. All he has to do is ensure he won’t make a fool of himself in front of the entire Ravenclaw quidditch team.
He heaves a sigh, pushing his bangs from his face.
Minseok steps away from the bench and looks at him expectantly. Suddenly nervous, Jongin pats down his trouser pockets and runs a mental checklist of equipment he’s supposed to be wearing. He’s already got on as much of the uniform as he’s going to get at this point. Do quidditch players wear protective gear like soccer players? No, Jongin shakes his head, that would be ridiculous. Right?
Minseok clears his throat, nodding in the direction of the Nimbus 3000 propped up on the bench. “Your broom,” he says, readjusting his own Firebolt in his grip.
Jongin swallows thickly, laughing nervously as he picks up the broom and shuffles back over. Minseok looks slightly amused, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, when the broom plops to the ground, slipping from Jongin’s sweaty grip.
Jongin flushes, quickly trying to gather himself together as he picks the broom back up. He raises a hand to dust it off before he realizes just exactly what he was about to do.
Smiling, Minseok kicks one leg over his broom and pushes off from the ground, slowly floating into the air. “Kick off, and we’ll get started.”
Jongin nods, settling onto his broom and kicking off from the ground. His flight is a little shaky but once he’s airborne, he gets his broom steadied out and his stomach eases when he’s handed a quaffle and Jongdae winks at him from across the field.
All he has to do is just imagine this as another game between Jongdae and himself.
(And maybe try to forget Minseok’s warm brown eyes watching him.)
•••---•••
When practice finally ends and Jongin can finally threaten Jongdae’s life for pulling a stunt like that, shower, and crawl into his bed, he thinks back to flying on that broomstick, back to how good he felt playing quidditch. His heart was practically in the clouds, and before he’d even noticed, the anxiety eating at his stomach had dissipated. Sure, he’d found himself hanging in the air by the tip of the broom more than what was probably acceptable for joining the team, but he’d loved the joy that playing quidditch has always been for him. Even when he’d played before he understood he was magical and when the only broom he had was the one he’d taken from the kitchen cupboard, it had always been the one thing he’d enjoyed doing.
But it’s two days of Jongin biting away at his nails in nervousness before Jongdae is bursting into his room after his lessons, sending Jongin’s scrolls flying off his bed. His friend at least has the decency to look a bit sheepish, and with a flick of his wand, piles up all the books and scrolls on Jongin’s desk- even if they are all out of order.
Jongdae eagerly plops himself onto the bed, clinging tightly to Jongin’s arm. “You made it! You can be the Chaser this year!”
Jongin’s entire body stills, fingers still locked around his quill. “I made it?”
Jongdae nods eagerly, grip tightening. All the tension and anxiety that’d built up in Jongin’s body suddenly floods out of him, he exhales, and he flops bonelessly back onto his pillow. He closes his eyes, taking in another shaky breath.
“I did it,” he mutters to himself, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. "I can't believe it."
"Minseok made the decision this morning. Said you were the best Chaser out of their backups and maybe even Jonghyun himself."
Jongin raises his eyebrow.
"Okay, so maybe he didn't mention anything about Jonghyun. But I think you're at least better than Soojung," Jongdae huffs. He lightly shoves Jongin's shoulder with a smile wide on his face.
Jongin can't help the fluttering in his heart. Minseok had said he was good. Probably really good if he could beat out the backups.
"Oh, but my classes." Jongin feels the elation in his chest fall. "Jongdae, I'm practically failing Potions and Herbology.”
“Look,” Jongdae starts, shuffling over Jongin’s bed until he’s sitting before his friend with his legs crossed, “we really need you. Jonghyun is out for the season and we’ll have to waste another week of practice just to go through our replacements. And I know just how much you enjoy quidditch. Jongin, you haven’t even seen the look on your face when you played just two days ago. The last time I saw you that happy was when my parents took us to the Quidditch World Cup six years ago.”
Jongin sighs, sinking further into his bed. Of course he loves quidditch, but he has no experience. He’s never even had a broomstick of his own, considering he’d been the last child after four older sisters who’d only blinked at the sport when they needed it in conversation. And maybe he’s a little terrified of the pressure that comes with replacing the best Chaser on the team- maybe even the best Chaser in Hogwarts. It’s a lot of expectations to live up to, expectations he’s never had on his shoulders, and he isn’t sure if he can deal with the burden.
“Jongin, quidditch makes you happy. And if you’re really worried about your classes, I’ll help. I can’t really tutor you in Herbology, but I’ll find someone who can.” Jongdae grabs Jongin’s hand, clutching it tight. “Please?”
Jongin has been friends with Jongdae for years, and for all that time he’s never learned how to say no to the boy who picked him up from the playground and cleaned his scraped knee or the man who never left him behind, even when he traveled millions of miles just to change his future.
“If you help,” Jongin pauses, watching as the light in Jongdae’s eyes slowly burns brighter. He can’t help but smile. “Then I guess I can do this for you.”
Jongdae cheers, wrapping Jongin in his arms eagerly. “You won’t regret this, I promise!” He pulls Jongin away from him with a satisfied sigh, looking at Jongin with as much gratefulness as could be portrayed in his eyes. He then tugs Jongin off the bed.
“Practice starts in an hour and we’re going to need to find a uniform that fits you,” he explains, slamming the door to Jongin’s dorm shut and pulling him down the winding staircase to the common room. “And I’ll need to explain a few of our plays too.”
Jongin smiles and lets himself be dragged through the corridors. His heart has always settled easily into his chest when Jongdae smiles brightly back at him.
•••---•••
Practice is like nothing Jongin expects. Minseok drills them hard and drills him the hardest of everyone. Jongin understands of course. Jongdae assures him Minseok only has the best interest of the team and is trying to train Jongin’s raw talent as a Chaser, but it doesn’t comfort him all that much when the only words he speaks are soft apologies.
After the first week of practice, Jongin is unbelievably sore. Every muscle in his arms and thighs ache. And the bruise blooming at his side from a wayward bludger grew more painful by the day. He’d nearly fallen from fifty feet in the air when the bludger blindsided him, but he had luckily locked his ankles around his broom just as he’d been struck and only found himself hung upside down, midair.
(Of course Minseok had attuned the team to practice with the bludgers, Jongin had yet to learn just how painful being hit by a bludger was.)
Plus, balancing his classes proves to be no easy feat either when quidditch practice runs every other day of the week, sometimes more often if Minseok manages to squeeze in another hour or two of one-on-one practice with him. He finds himself drifting to sleep in his Charms lessons and performs the sloppiest transfigurations out of the entire class. He’d probably be failing Potions even worse if it wasn’t for Sehun picking up his slack with a sympathetic smile.
Jongin’s schedule changes so that at any given time, he is either cramming in homework, practicing quidditch, or catching even just a wink of sleep. When Jongdae notices Jongin starts skipping out on lunch or dinner to hole himself away in the library, he drags Jongin back to the dining hall and changes their tutoring sessions to be during the least busy hours of the dining hall. Jongdae is the one who often has to drag Jongin from his bed on early Saturday mornings for extra practice and stays up with him late into the night to finish homework.
And the tutor for Herbology Jongdae finds him is none other than Minseok, apparently the best of the seventh years in the course. Minseok tutors him in the common room on Wednesdays and Fridays after practice and gets him a B on the first exam (the grade Jongin had dreamed that he’d earn one day). Then, he shoves his test paper excitedly into Minseok’s face with his smile contagious and his heart thumping wildly in his chest.
(He never admits how distracted he was during their study sessions by the way Minseok would bite down on his thick, pink lips when he was in thought or the way Minseok’s eyes curved pleasantly when Jongin answered a question correctly. Nor does he admit how much more he studied into the night just to impress Minseok. The crush he’s been nursing for years now only grows heavier.)
But there are the harder days, the days when Jongin’s heart falls to his feet when he has to shove the D’s and C’s on essays into his books or when he has to nurse the painful bruise from another bludger by himself. The days when the pressure has built so heavily on his shoulders that he actually slumps from the weight are the worst.
“Once more,” Minseok chides, hovering closer on his broom and tossing the quaffle back. Autumn is fast disappearing and winter is slowly setting in with the chilling wind biting at his bones through his uniform. Their first match is against Hufflepuff and is in just a few weeks and the pressure has only been building up like mountains on Jongin’s shoulders. Every Ravenclaw that passes by him in the hallway knows he’s on the team, and they all clap him on the back or cheer for him and tell him how high their expectations are and he isn’t sure he can climb those mountains.
Tired, Jongin opens his arms to catch the quaffle before his vision vaguely swims before him and the ball flops right through his hands. He sighs, swoops down to pick the ball off the ground and soars back up to the middle of the stadium, high off the ground.
He aims for the ground, planning to skim low and avoid the bludgers until he can swoop back up and pitch the quaffle into the goalpost. But when he’s skimming along the ground, almost too fast for him to control when he’s so tired, he doesn’t see the bludger in his peripheral until it’s too late and the breath is knocked straight from his lungs. He tumbles off his broom, skidding a few feet into the ground and still unable to breathe.
Minseok’s at his side, wand raised, worry flooding his eyes. Jongin coughs, clutching his side, until he can force air through his lungs again. His face is burning from embarrassment.
When he catches his breath, he doesn’t feel particularly inclined to sit back up again. The bruise is already stinging, and he feels like it’ll hurt worse if he moves but he feels so weak sprawled out in front of Minseok. And the pressure, the expectations, they’re heavier on his chest than they had been on his shoulders. They’re practically crushing him.
Minseok heaves a sigh and pulls out a potion vial from his pocket. “Take this. Wiggenweld- it’ll heal up that bruise.”
Jongin nods, taking the vial with shaky hands and carefully tipping it against his bottom lip. He closes his eyes and swallows down what he can and wipes away the bit that leaks past the corner of his lips and trails down the side of his face. His stomach starts to feel a bit numb at first, but it finally warms up and the pain is slowly starting to dissipate.
Silence falls on the field, even the wind falls silent. Jongin digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, as if that could stop the turmoil in his head. His chest is tight and he’s got a lump in his throat because he can feel Minseok’s eyes boring into him.
Ravenclaw’s team captain Kim Minseok. The same man that’s drilled him until he’s collapsed and the same man that smiled so brightly for him at two in the morning when Jongin had finally and correctly finished the Herbology practice exam. Minseok, the same man that had flooded Jongin’s whole chest with warmth during that first week of Hogwarts when he’d showed Jongin the way to class when he’d been lost. His smile was so enchanting then, it still is just as enchanting. It makes Jongin’s knees weak.
But this was also the same Kim Minseok that was Head Boy, prefect in the years previous, youngest captain of the Ravenclaw quidditch team, and still has top grades. And jealousy suddenly swirls so sickly in Jongin’s stomach because while he’s suffocating under all the pressure grades and trying not to let his house down, Kim Minseok seems to be managing everything just fine.
Jongin just wants this to be easier. Since when did playing quidditch wipe the smile from his face- the smile Jongdae had liked so much?
The grass rustles as Minseok shifts. Jongin lifts his hands from his eyes, watching as Minseok lies back in the grass beside him. Jongin turns his eyes back to the sky, shivering as another chilling gust of wind bites at his cheeks.
“What’s on your mind?” Minseok asks. Jongin can see Minseok turning to look at him but Jongin isn’t in the mood to look back.
“It’s nothing.” But Jongin is just forcing words out of his mouth. It’s tearing down the weak walls he’d been building to lock himself away from the pressure more than it’s strengthening them.
Minseok raises his eyebrow. Jongin knows there’s no way to fool Minseok about anything. He tried with a Herbology essay he hadn’t done so well on, even after he had a full discussion with Minseok about it. But somehow Minseok had figured out by the way Jongin was fidgeting nervously and chewing on his lip and of course he hadn’t been upset, Minseok is never upset, but Jongin had felt a lot of disappointment.
And Jongin’s sure feeling a lot more disappointment now.
“Look, if you don’t think you can handle it any more, then I’m willing to drop you. I know Jongdae didn’t bring you to that team meeting willingly. And it’ll be easy for me to find a replacement for you- if that’s anything you’re concerned about.”
Jongin stubbornly shakes his head. "I couldn't do that to you. Or to Jongdae. You guys have put in so much time for me and I won't just take without giving back."
The field falls silent for a moment. Then Minseok turns so he's lying on his side, head propped up on the palm of his hand. "You know, sometimes we have to be the superheros that people make us out to be."
Minseok sighs, plucking a few blades of grass. "I'm not so great at these pep talks," he starts, smiling when he hears Jongin chuckle. "Shocking, isn't it? The team captain can't even make a nice speech to encourage his teammate."
Jongin huffs a laugh. "Well if the point of your speech was that this gets easier, then I don't think it worked."
Minseok shakes his head. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but it doesn't get any easier the closer we get to our match with Hufflepuff."
"Right. Of course." Jongin can't help his stomach clenching.
“Do you think you can sit up?”
Sighing, Jongin sits back up, propping himself up on his hands. He looks down at the wide expanse of the field, feeling a whole lot smaller.
“Jongin, do you know why I let you be Chaser this year?”
He frowns, unsure about how to feel after hearing that. “I sure hope it was because I was at least a little good.”
Minseok lets out a small chuckle, and even when Jongin’s body is strung taught, it still manages to make his stomach flop. “What I was going to say is that while, yes, you’re good, you also love it.”
Jongin hopes he isn’t blushing too visibly. He folds his knees up, encircles his arms around his shins, and props his chin on his knees.
“You’ll never be able to see it in yourself but, Jongin, you have so much passion- more than probably half the members on this team’s got.” Minseok stands, dusting the grass from his pants and smiling down at Jongin sincerely. “And the effect you have on this team? It’s something amazing to watch.”
Minseok helps him up, steadying him when his vision swims. The serum still tastes a little sickly in his throat. He doesn’t really believe the team captain, but he finds that his heart is a little bit lighter.
They start walking towards where Jongin’s broom had landed, quite a few meters out on the field. Minseok kicks up patches of dirt along the way. “I kind of wish I could push my team like you’ve been able to. But this is my last year and I’m going to do what I can to make this the best year for the Ravenclaw quidditch team.”
He bends down and picks up Jongin’s broom, locking it in Jongin’s hands. Jongin’s heart flops as Minseok’s hands brush against his.
“What do you say, Jongin? Are you going to get up there one more time?”
Jongin’s shoulders are still heavy and his chest is still tight, but he looks down at Minseok, at the hope that’s poorly veiled by indifference.
“Yeah,” he nods. He presses his palms into his eyes, waiting for his vision to return before he swings one leg over his broom. “I think I’m ready to try once more.”
Minseok smiles, brighter than Jongin’s ever seen and he wants to do anything to keep that smile there. And no matter how things go, Minseok will be behind him, supporting him. Maybe he’ll be Minseok’s support too.
•••---•••
They beat Hufflepuff.
While Jongin, Jinri, and Soojung had scored quite a few goals, Jongin’s proud of all the goals he’d scored against the Hufflepuff goalie, Jongdae had caught the snitch. The entire stadium had fallen silent as Jongdae shot up through the clouds with Kyungsoo, the Hufflepuff Seeker, hot on his trail, but Jongdae was the one to swoop over the crowd with the snitch in his hand, a smile so wide on his face.
Jongin’s heart was soaring so unbelievably high. After he’d landed, Jongdae had come running straight for him and locked him in a tight hug. “We did it, Jongin! We’re going to the finals!”
“I know,” he cheers, voice soft amidst the crowd’s bellows and the team huddling around them, cheering for their win. Soon the entire team joins in on their group hug, just as it turns into a dog pile on top of Jongdae who kicks and whines until they get off of him.
Jongin looks out into the crowd, sees all the Ravenclaws cheering their name- his name- and all the stress and pressure up to this point was worth it.
His eyes catch Minseok’s among the crowd, and the team captain smiles. Jongin can’t help the unbidden smile he returns.
•••---•••
Slytherin wins in their match against Gryffindor, putting them one step closer to winning, but the final matches of the season won’t happen until the end of the school year. But now, it’s winter break with the school grounds covered in a foot of snow and the school slowly emptying out.
Jongin is late, having spent extra time making last minute preparations in his room. He closes and locks his door, and drags his suitcase down the windy staircase. Jongdae already left and is waiting for him at the front gates. Most of the entire student body has already left.
But Jongin is looking for Minseok on his way out and luckily finds the team captain curled up on a deep blue couch in front of the fireplace, wrapped up in a maroon sweater and a book propped open in his lap. When he approaches, Minseok startles, eyes wide.
“Jongin? I had thought you would’ve left already.” Minseok marks his page before shutting the book and standing from the couch. His sweater is a bit too big for him- it stretches over his palms, leaving his small fingers to peek out from beneath the sleeves, and it hangs off his shoulders. Jongin swallows.
“I just-” he quickly rummages through his suitcase and pulls out a present he wrapped. The paper is wrinkled and torn, and he’s fairly embarrassed by the state of the wrapping, but he hands it over with shaky fingers and his face burning red. “Merry Christmas, Minseok.”
Smiling, Minseok takes the package and quickly tears through the wrapping. Jongin had asked his parents to send him a blue and black striped knitted beanie, the very one Minseok pulls from the box.
“Wow, thank you, Jongin,” he breathes, immediately sliding the beanie over his messy brown hair and tugging it so it slips over his ears. Jongin thinks he really likes the way it looks on Minseok.
“It’s nothing,” he stutters. “It’s just something for you. For Christmas, you know. And as a thank you gift too. And I thought you might like it since it’s really cold outside and you’d be cold if you went to Hogsmeade without a hat.” Jongin wishes his mouth would stop running.
But Minseok simply chuckles and tugs on the beanie. “I really like it, Jongin. Thanks.”
The back of his neck prickles with heat. He hopes Minseok can’t see him blush in the dim lighting of the common room. “Don’t mention it,” he mutters. His heart is beating far faster than normal.
“Have a nice Christmas, Jongin! Don’t eat too much food or you won’t be able to get back on your broom,” Minseok jokes, eyes curving pleasantly. It eases a bit of the tension twisting in Jongin’s stomach.
“Y-Yeah, I’ll do that,” he says. He zips up his suitcase and glances down at his watch. Jongdae will be so furious if they miss the train back. “I have to go now but I’ll be waiting for next semester.”
Minseok plops back down on the couch and pulls his book back onto his lap. “Next semester. Maybe we’ll even win the Quidditch Cup this year.”
Nodding eagerly, Jongin grabs his suitcase and waves one last goodbye. His heart is beating so erratically that he nearly runs into the door on his way out, but the image of Minseok’s smile keeps him content on the train ride home.
(The image of Minseok’s smile makes his heart ache over the winter break. He forgets pieces of that smile with every day and wishes he could see that smile forever.)
Just six more months before Minseok graduates and leaves. The panic settles uneasily in the pit of his stomach for the month of winter break.
•••---•••
Winter break gives Jongin enough time to rest back up for quidditch. It gives him time to sort things out for himself. He knows that since Ravenclaw’s in the finals, the pressure will be even heavier, but he knows the entire team has to feel the same burden- and Jongdae has to bear the worst of it. The burden is something the team bears together, though, and Jongin knows they can do well this match.
For most of the new semester, Jongdae is locked away in his room, cramming as much last minute preparation for the OWLS as he can. He only emerges from his room for quidditch practice and on the occasion to move to the library, but even with all the studying he has to do, he never forgets to send Jongin a warm smile when he passes. Jongin does what he can to help his friend like sneaking food from the dining hall or even just tossing Jongdae’s laundry with his own. And though Jongdae doesn’t say anything, Jongin knows he’s grateful for any help he can get.
They win against Gryffindor, despite all the struggle. The match had gone on nearly three times as long as their match against Hufflepuff and Jongdae had nearly taken a fall from a hundred feet in the air trying to catch the snitch, but nevertheless, they’d done it. Slytherin easily defeats Hufflepuff, putting them at the top of the bracket as Ravenclaw’s final opponent for the Quidditch Cup.
And from what Jongin hears from whispers in the common room, Minseok is already set for graduation. He’d gotten what he wanted; he became an Auror. With top grades, it was hard not for Minseok to be accepted.
Jongin can’t help but think about how long he has waited to even consider telling Minseok he likes him. Sehun continues to remind him about their bet and something nags at the back of his mind that he should just tell Minseok. Do it and get it over with. Even if it doesn’t work out, his mind helpfully supplies, Minseok will already be gone from Hogwarts.
“Jongin?”
He looks up and smiles. The flames from the common room’s fireplace flicker and dance along Minseok’s pale skin. It’s late and the common room is empty on a Thursday night when everyone is supposed to be asleep.
Minseok sits beside him, pressing close enough into his side that the brush of Minseok’s skin against his makes him shiver.
“Can’t sleep?”
Jongin shakes his head, curls himself further into his sweater. Spring is already here but Jongin often finds himself pulling out his sweatshirts for comfort. “I just needed to think.”
Minseok purses his lips and nods. He must be on rounds, Jongin thinks. The golden badge pinned to Minseok’s shirt glimmers with the light of the fireplace.
“Worried about quidditch again?”
Jongin sighs, tugging the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his balled fists. “Not exactly,” he says, laughing a little humorlessly at himself.
“Then I’m not sure I have a pep talk for you,” Minseok says, smiling. Jongin’s heart twists almost painfully in his chest.
He could ask. He could confess right now while they’re alone, right now when Minseok doesn’t have to coach practices or when Jongin is being dragged off by Sehun to study. He could admit his feelings right now while his heart is so painfully exposed on his sleeve and he could quell the worries winding tighter around his lungs, suffocating him.
But just as fast as the courage had come, it spills out like a full cup tipped over and Jongin is left breathless and a little hollow.
He sneaks a glance. There’s something off about the way Minseok sits. He’s anxious by the way his teeth dig into his bottom lip and the way his leg nervously bounces against the floor. Minseok doesn’t meet his gaze when he’s sure he’s been staring long enough for it to be noticeable.
“I’m just going to go to bed,” he breathes out, standing, waiting for a sudden bout of courage to overtake him, make him ramble off all the feelings he’s been keeping bottled up for four long years. But it never comes, and though it seems like there’s something Minseok wants to say before he leaves, it doesn’t come.
“Goodnight, Jongin,” he says, smile diminishing. Jongin leaves and tucks himself into bed before he can ponder on it any longer. His heart proves to be restless during the night.
There are just three months left and Jongin’s starting to feel afraid he’ll regret never taking this chance.
•••---•••
Tension is high in the Ravenclaw dorms, now that the final match has approached and now just isn’t the time for Jongin to say anything. He is gathered with the team, starting to sweat through his clothes. He keeps tugging on the collar of his jersey and wiping his palms down his trousers before he slips his gloves back on. Jongdae looks at him from across the room, eyes weary but still filled with that eager glint.
“Alright guys, bring it in,” Minseok calls out above the cheers of the crowd thundering in Jongin’s ears. The team gathers, heads put together and nervous smiles on all their faces. Jongin’s never seen Jongdae so nervous before, and it only serves to spur his anxiety further.
And for a brief moment, the stadium falls silent. The crowd disappears, the Slytherin team disappears, and it’s just the team- their team. Minseok meets his teammates gazes with a soft smile, eyes showing no worry.
“No matter how today goes,” Minseok starts, shakily inhaling, “I want you guys to know it’s been an honor playing with you.”
Jongin notices Jinri and Soojung press their lips tight together. Luhan hooks an arm around Minseok’s waist and tugs him closer. Jongdae shoves Minseok’s shoulder playfully, trying to hide his watery smile behind overly bright eyes.
Jongin himself can’t help but swallow thickly.
“So for this match, whether we win or lose, make it our best match.”
And Minseok meets gazes with Jongin specifically, sharing a small, shy smile. He sends a subtle nod back.
The stadium returns, the noise comes flooding back into Jongin’s ears and he’s almost dizzy by the shock. The team breaks, just as the whistle blows to start the match.
Jongin exhales, kicking a leg over his broom and takes off to the center of the pitch. Minseok soon flies up behind him, offering him a pat on the back.
“Good luck,” he whispers, sending Jongin’s stomach flopping. “You’ll do great in today’s match.”
He’s nervous, his hands are shaking enough to slip off the broom if he’s not careful. He closes his eyes and imagines playing quidditch, just like he’d done for the Hufflepuff match, just as he’d done for the impromptu tryout. He lets the feeling of elation hold him up in the air and ease the tension from his chest.
A fire ignites his heart. The quaffle is tossed into the field and he dives.
•••---•••
His bangs are plastered to his forehead by the sweat. It drips down this side of his neck and makes his shirt cling uncomfortably to his skin. He has the quaffle in his arms and although exhaustion is steadily clinging tighter to his bones, he fakes out the goalie and is just about to score when the crowd suddenly falls silent.
Jongin chances a glance to the field, looking for Jongdae, but the Seeker is nowhere in sight. He holds his breath as the Slytherin Chasers start advancing down the field.
Just as he’s about to swipe the quaffle, the crowd’s cheers thunder in his ears. He stutters mid-flight and looks around for Jongdae, heart beating in his ears and praying that Jongdae is the one swooping down triumphantly with the snitch in hand.
It is. Jongdae drops from the cloud, and dives low over the crowd, snitch in hand. Ravenclaw wins the match.
All the tension leaks out from Jongin’s body as he swoops down to land. Jinri and Luhan are already on the ground, cheering and pulling more of their teammates that land into a hug. Jongin lands just before Minseok and gets pulled into the hug by Luhan’s hands.
Jongdae is the last to land, flourishing the snitch with the brightest smile Jongin has ever seen on his best friend. His heart couldn’t be any lighter.
For a moment, Jongin closes his eyes and takes in the stadium. Right now is probably the best moment of his life.
His eyes fly open when he feels a hand tugging him back. It’s Minseok, eyes excited and bright and Jongin can’t help the way his heart jumps to his throat.
“Jongin, we did it! We won!” he shouts, and before Jongin can even blink, Minseok’s got an arm wrapped around his neck and tugs him down until their lips meet. His eyes are wide, his hands are locked, and all the breath has been sucked from his lungs and he’s dizzy.
Minseok pulls back, a shy pink dusting his face but eyes still wide, worried. He bites down on his bottom lip and starts slinking back into the noise of the team when Jongin tugs him back by the wrist and kisses him, more sure of himself than their first.
First kiss; he’s a bit breathless. Minseok had taken his first kiss not quite like how Jongin had imagined, but it had been just as wondrous all the same.
Minseok smiles against his lips before he pulls away, hands pressing at Jongin’s hips. Jongin can hardly breathe.
“Wow,” he exhales, smile so wide on his face he thinks it may split. His tongue is thick and sticky in his mouth and he thinks his heart may have stopped beating.
“Yeah,” Minseok replies, suddenly nervous by the way his fingers tremble at Jongin’s hip. “I’ve been kind of wanting to do that.”
Jongin chuckles. “Me too.” He pulls Minseok in and kisses him again, feeling his chest light up from the thrill of it all. Minseok feels just at home in his arms like he’d imagined. He’s never felt more sure in himself than now.
Minseok looks up with bright eyes that assure him the same.
•••---•••
(When the celebrations die down, Jongin’s lips swollen from the numerous times he’d snuck kisses from Minseok, he feels the weight of something in his pocket. He opens the card to find a voice message from Sehun.
“You were late by just five minutes!” it screeches at him. “I’ll be waiting for those 50 galleons!”)