Rise as the Buildings Crumble
I'm working on a huge project: one thousand works of art in one year. The year started on my birthday, September 22nd. For those of you doing the math, next month marks the halfway mark.
I'm not even on #300 yet. This means I'm almost halfway to my deadline and I'm not even a third finished. Do I have excuses? Youbetcha! Here's a few:
1. JW is starting to crunch more often and will be doing so for the rest of the year because he's trying to ship a game.
2. We have full 50/50 custody of NW now, which means more responsibility overall, and specifically more responsibility for me (see excuse #1)
3. I don't paint well at home when other people are around.
4. I'm tired from the extra work of #1 and #2 which means even when I have studio time, my mind isn't in creative mode.
Excuses aside, the biggest problem I'm having is keeping my priorities a priority. Since my work doesn't look like the average Joe's work, it doesn't always get the respect it deserves. My time is seen as always available, always flexible. It's not. When I defend my work time, my studio time, I have to deal with eyerolls and mutterings. My own father says things like, "It must be nice to get to sit around all day." Yes, it must be nice. Wonder what that's like?
So even though I'm intimidated by the amount of work I have left to do on my project, my real challenge is less concrete. How do I believe in my work enough that the people around me understand that it's real, it's important, and it's my priority? How do I guard my boundaries and get my job done, without constantly having to fight off the people who believe my time is theirs to spend?
Ultimately no one can respect me more than I respect myself. I certainly have the support of my close family and friends. I envy the easy respect people with "normal" jobs receive for their time commitments. I know I'm lucky to be able to pursue my dreams. I just don't want to fail due to my own inability to stand up for what I'm doing.
“Talent is cheap; dedication is expensive. It will cost you your life.” ~Irving Stone
I'm not even on #300 yet. This means I'm almost halfway to my deadline and I'm not even a third finished. Do I have excuses? Youbetcha! Here's a few:
1. JW is starting to crunch more often and will be doing so for the rest of the year because he's trying to ship a game.
2. We have full 50/50 custody of NW now, which means more responsibility overall, and specifically more responsibility for me (see excuse #1)
3. I don't paint well at home when other people are around.
4. I'm tired from the extra work of #1 and #2 which means even when I have studio time, my mind isn't in creative mode.
Excuses aside, the biggest problem I'm having is keeping my priorities a priority. Since my work doesn't look like the average Joe's work, it doesn't always get the respect it deserves. My time is seen as always available, always flexible. It's not. When I defend my work time, my studio time, I have to deal with eyerolls and mutterings. My own father says things like, "It must be nice to get to sit around all day." Yes, it must be nice. Wonder what that's like?
So even though I'm intimidated by the amount of work I have left to do on my project, my real challenge is less concrete. How do I believe in my work enough that the people around me understand that it's real, it's important, and it's my priority? How do I guard my boundaries and get my job done, without constantly having to fight off the people who believe my time is theirs to spend?
Ultimately no one can respect me more than I respect myself. I certainly have the support of my close family and friends. I envy the easy respect people with "normal" jobs receive for their time commitments. I know I'm lucky to be able to pursue my dreams. I just don't want to fail due to my own inability to stand up for what I'm doing.
“Talent is cheap; dedication is expensive. It will cost you your life.” ~Irving Stone