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[tinywarrior]

It's an odd thing to be in my fifties. I'm only into my second year of it and so far its most prominent characteristic is the bittersweet. While I am enjoying so much and learning to be open to the universe more than I ever have been, I can also see the beginning of a lifetime of loss that I will also have to endure. I suppose I am still so blue

Comments

[tinywarrior]

So true! You know, I've really been mulling over your insight and I wonder if this is part of the reason I quit writing as much...I felt so many times that I had not much interesting to say. I'm finding my voice again. It's different, but it's mine.

Hey sister soul sister go sister soul sister

[lolliejean]

Wonderfully said my friend. I'm a little further down the 50s road and can relate to this so much.

Love,

Your Barrel Shaped Barrel Aged (like a fine wine!) Soul Sister

Re: Hey sister soul sister go sister soul sister

[tinywarrior]

I love that we are on the road together!! xoxo

[iamkatia]

resonating.. <3

[tinywarrior]

Love you!

[themowingdevil]

I'm a few years behind you and feeling this HARD. So hard. And also having a look around and thinking, well, this 20-year dip into trying to be something I'm not sure has been interesting, but it might be time to examine other options.

<3

[tinywarrior]

It's never too late to change. If it's time, don't cheat yourself out of going where you need to go. xo

[nickelchief]

I'm 40, so a pace (or ten or twelve) behind you I know, but I feel so much of this so much and I'm grateful to hear it expressed by something other than my brain.

I had occasion this morning to write out a check. I started out with the date and the dollar amount and was doing okay. By the time I got to the signature and the little memo note I was completely shocked to find myself crying. Like actual teardrop-staining-the-envelope crying. My kids are starting to disappear from my sight. It's already happening. Where are they going, and how long has it been since they needed me so much? It feels impossible today.

I feel so much of this, and I'm grateful.

[sun_set_bravely]

In the thick of the time of being needed so much, I thrash around and gulp for air and simultaneously know that this is the heart time, this is the beautiful gut punch that I'll want to remember forever. Appreciating is wonderful but it doesn't take away exhaustion and fear and HOWWWWWWW?

[tinywarrior]

I feel this so often about my boys, and I wince when I think of the times that I resented their need of me. I miss those little boys who are now disappeared so desperately some days. I never truly understood what it was to keen for someone, in that horrible brokenhearted Irish way, until my children began to grow up and away.