Perhaps I have been lying; To myself, others, and the universe.
You know, I have always wanted a permanent record of my life. Once I'm dead, I'm dead. It makes me think. I have been keeping this journal for years, and yet, it doesn't really say anything anymore. I cannot call it a proper detailed journal, just bits and pieces. Even those bits and those pieces have been distorted
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I can totally relate to what your saying honey. I'm sorry that you feel the way you do though. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.
*Hugs some more*
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*Hugs*
♥
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Ah, but you are wrong... you're wrong in worrying about what others will think when they read your posts, for that shouldn't matter. You'll find that any that challenge your thoughts come from three distinct corridors in thought: Those that agree, those that would offer criticism constructively, and those extremely discomforted because they don't want to acknowledge their own hand in matters (I.E. have no sense of accountability) and thus seek to quiet you ( ... )
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I wanted this to be for me, but I find I can't keep track of my journals. I have several volumes filled with private writings, but they disappear. The reason I chose to get an LJ account was so I wouldn't lose any more entries. Sadly, by putting my life inline, I lost the ability to be completely truthful, out of fear of what others would think.
I think something inside of me has broken, a seal popped, I"m not sure. I'm not going to bullshit on my journal. If I have things to say that others can't see, I'll just make them private, but I cannot handle catering to the needs of others all the time.
Mmm, I'm sleepy :P
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