Character: Cuthbert Allgood
Series:
The Dark Tower Series Age: Around 15
Canon:
The world is slowing down. Technology made by the Old People has left the world full of mutants (muties) and a lot of grief. Here in the wastes where civilization barely clings, the barony Gilead has found itself in a desperate struggle. Gilead is home to the world's last Gunslingers; an epic breed of fighter known around the world for their prowess. Roland, the most talented apprentice gunslinger, is in a hurry to grow up. So to keep him safe his father sends him and two of his friends on a supposedly simple errand far away from home.
Roland's best friend from childhood, Cuthbert Allgood, is faithful, loyal and a credit to the Gunslinger tradition… if only he could stop running his mouth for a bit. Bert is as quick to a jest as he is on the draw, even when the jokes are at his expense. He is even fine with putting himself down, if it makes him a source of amusement. His jovial nature often rubs against his friends, but it has its uses. Even in situations of life and death, he has a smile and a laugh ready beside his weapon. Running deep under his vein of humor is a boy who will do absolutely anything for his friends, including giving them a good punch when necessary.
Note: Bert has a "Midworld" accent, which sounds almost Shakespearean but with hints of the old west. "Sai" is high speech for "sir/ma'am".
Sample Post:
Heat? Aye, I know heat. And wet, too, just the same. But rarely have I been in a place graced with such an abundance of both. Why, I may as well abandon the horse and swim my way out of this strange forest. Swimming would certainly be faster than walking my mount through this muck. And wouldn't I be a sight to see! Ah, but my luck being what it is, if I were to swim, there would surely be sharks. Land sharks. I can almost sense them now. Land sharks sneaking up on their prey with all their tricks and wiles. Land sharks with a terrible reek about them and… purple fur?
Apologies, sai, I mistook you for someone else. 'Tis a lucky thing for both of us I have my irons tucked away safe. You could catch your death of hot lead sneakin' up on a man like that, especially when my brains were off swimming. Sadly, until my thoughts return everything 'neath my hat is in the care of my tongue, which has its own love of wandering, so it does. Had I not lost track of my comrades to this damnable forest, they would surely affirm that point for me. Indeed, there must be enough people who've told me to 'shut my trap now and again' to fill a whole town!
Now that all my parts are back in their places I can see you are neither lion nor tiger, nor shark. Oh my, no. Nor are you like any mutie I've seen before, if I think on it. No extra eyes, heads or even appendages. Though I dare say you have been gifted with one outstanding appendage any man would be jealous of. I would be lying if I said I wasn't somewhat humbled myself.
On second thought, and I am as surprised as you to know there's more than one thought rolling around my skull, perhaps you are not a mutie at all. You may just be a native creature here. Certainly, as this forest is unusual, and you match that description fairly well indeed. Aye, so you do. Your outrageous fur makes for no cover, nor does it instill fear in your enemy. I do believe the only vocation left for someone of your tint is a joker. Oh, now why so serious? I myself am a man of many humors and I find it to be a very worthy pastime!
By the face of my father, it seems I am in the presence of a true master of the trade! I bow to your skills, sai, for this is impressive to say the least. It must have taken weeks of work, and trouble besides. You have a true dedication to the craft. Tell me, if you might, how did you manage to hang so many fancy undergarments in this tree?
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here. You guys... ♥