So I'm some sort of writing god...
Or so they tell me.
Just came back from my workshop over my story (see previous entry for story).
First words: "Damn this guy can write!" followed by murmers of agreement.
That felt good. But the euphoria is starting to wear off.
Out of the 25 handed out, I recieved 16 back. Three of which did not have anything writen on them. One had nothing more then doodles in the margins. Only two had more then a paragraph. The majority of the ones I recieved back had only "Good Story!", "Nice Dialogue!" or some other variant as the only comment.
ARGH!!... That is NOT constructive critisism. It's nice for my ego, yeah, but it doesn't help me craft the story in any way, shape, or form.
Makes me feel a touch of resentment after I go through their stories with a fine tooth comb. Sigh.
Thanks to my little Grammer Nazi I've caught a few more grammer problems. Somehow forgot a few dialogue tags and that needs addressing, but for the list of potential changes (more for me to to make concrete):
- Fix Valerie during the bathroom scene, yet remain within Nathan's PoV. She comes off too passive to the reader and there is a lack of support for her actions. Illustrate to the reader either how she percieves and reacts to Nathan's obvious emotional attachment or why she is incapable to percieve Nathan's emotions.
- Support Nathan's not dealing with the crisis: why he shirks away from the moment of truth.
- Support Nathan's lack of focus during work. Tie together that scene and the previous. Show how he is still (somewhat) responsible in spite of his emotional torment. Perhaps eliminate Richard and make Jason his boss.
- On the other hand, illustrate a touch more of Valerie as the basket case and how she's (unintentionally) irresponsible - and how Nathan reacts to that.
- Add more support as to what happened nine years ago.
- Go over tense use to make sure it's consistant (or if not, make sure it's there for a reason).
- Add to the description of Emily - She's not a fucking hooker. She's his chance to wake up. To start over. But does he want it?
- Nail down descriptions of Nathan and Valerie. In that vien, make it clear that freshman means high school and these characters are at least 25 or 26.
- Go over the descriptions, fine tune them. See if they can be more efficient. If not, add meat and tell the kids with ADD to fuck off.
- Tweak the final scene, or perhaps add another scene with Valerie. I want to end at the crossroads, but the resolution seems to make the reader ask for more. I want to keep the note from Valerie because it leads directly to the staring at the phone, but there also needs to be another scene with Valerie in it. Hrm.
That is constructive criticism.