(no subject)
A few years ago, I was training a group of new students... It was nothing more that basic self defense. It was something Logan should have been teaching.
But Logan wasn't here. He was off chasing his past, being a man, I don't know whatever his testosterone fueled brain decided was a good idea at the moment. Must be nice to have no responsibility.
That's not relevant.
I was teaching this class, and one of the students decided that she should smack my glasses off my face. I wasn't wearing the visor, so it was easy for her. Easier than it would have been anyway. I was kneeling over one of the other students and she got them off.
Kneeling over this kid, feeling the glasses slipping and *knowing* I couldn't stop it, knowing what was going to happen and that all I could do was close my eyes and grab for what had grabbed me.
I'm not sure which student was closer to death, the one who very nearly got blasted through the floor, or the one I had by the hair. Prehensile hair, that had been used to pull at the glasses, or push, or... something.
Kneeling in the floor, with a terrified child in front of me and an angry and terrified one beside me, held by the hair, and blind.
Thank god nothing worse happened. The situation ended well. They gave me my glasses, they got out of the way and they saw just a split second of the unrestrained concussion force blast.
It hit the wall of the Danger Room and of course didn't really do any damage. The room is made for that. It just made a lot of noise.
Then I let them go, still scared and shaken.
It's never happened again.
Because they were afraid of me and after that there's simply been no way I would enter any dangerous situation without the visor. It's not perfect but it's a lot harder to loose than glasses. It's a lot harder to see through and a lot more uncomfortable.
That's not relevant either.
What is relevant is I harp on control. I drill responsibility in the use of mutant abilities. I nag, and I stress and I drill and I push. Control is important. Control saves lives. Control is the most important thing a mutant can ever, or will ever, learn.
And I have exactly as much as can be given to me by metal and plastic and red quartz.
It can be taken away by a 14 year old little girl in a moment of unthinking impulsivness.
It can be taken away by a mad man intend on genocide, and creating the master race.
I can deal with the headaches. I can deal with the blood washed view of the world when I would prefer the black of blindless. It's necessary.
But I can not handle the loss of control and all that's lost with it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------