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[devina]

I'd actually forgotten this thing exists, just happened upon it today and added myself.

So who all is here, and why aren't you chit-chattering? :)

(Devina, switch though I'm usually bottoming in public, late 20's, brat/SAM, painslut, one of the original Boston TNG cast members, bleah bleah yadda. Your turn.)

Comments

[on_reserve]

hey devina ...

i stopped going to tng stuff because it felt clique-ish and weird. i always felt unwelcome. not in any overt way but i just got the general impression that people didn't like having me around.

anyway for an introduction: i'm a queer femme masochist top. i like playing publicly lots and esp like piercing scenes. facilitated the trans-inclusion panel at leather leadership 7, so on and so on.

-sadie m.-

Re:

[devina]

Wow, I'm really sorry you've gone to events you've felt excluded from! I know the clique thing happens sometimes, because most of us come from groups of friends already into What It Is That We Do, but that's not a good excuse. (Can I ask what sorts of events these were?)

Maybe I'll throw something sometime soon. It's been a while, and I've been terrible about meeting the new folks on the list.

Re:

[on_reserve]

devina,

i'm not new to the scene and i also knew most of the people there. but at the discussion groups, the lunches and stuff. (if it helps i used to go by "amy" altho i don't use that name for scene id anymore due to its ubiquitiousness). i also used to post on the tng list but then i got kind of tired of the "age issue" coming up 100 times a month. what i'm referring to is actual cliqueishness. like people being cold to me for no reason i can discern, not a lack of an introduction or feeling alienated/shy. part of my frustration is that i'm part of other leather orgs (mob, nela) and have never felt excluded. tng felt a lot like high school to me. like there were "cool kids" and that i was definitely not one of them. and i didn't come to that conclusion on my own, there was a definite "we don't think you belong" here vibe that i got on a regular basis and saw given out to others too.

[devina]

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm aware of it. And I'm not excusing it. (And yep, remember an Amy from the lunches.) Are you still subbed to the list? The age issue hasn't come up in a while, it's actually been fairly low traffic.

Can you talk about being a masochistic top? It's not quite something I can get my head around, and I don't think it's ever actually been explained to me. :)

HI!

[paganmommy]

I have never been to "TNG" stuff, well, cause I don't know what it stands for. :) I read the profile for this community and met wolfy so I thought I would join up!
There is much brain dead in my head this a.m. so no intro right now, will get right on it though. I do remember that I bottom and am in my 30's ish ;) Otherwise there much be patience as I acclimate to sitting down. *grin*

Re: HI!

[devina]

TNG stands for The Next Generation (of Kink). Whenever you have a chance, you should check out the website (listed on this community's info page). It's got some good information about who the group is. :)

*grin* Good luck with that whole "sitting down" bit!

Re: HI!

[paganmommy]

I think I finally got it figured out.. it requires BOTH my arse cheeks settling in at once!!!! Whew..
So here I am, apparently right on the edge of the "age issue" in regards to TNG :/ Ah well, a year and a half if I get to hang around for my entire 35th year. ;)
I am really new to the public scening stuff, and I have a great time at the parties I have been to. I have never been in a, um.. I am not sure what the word is, but a more "relationship" type sub/dom situation, so I don't know how that would work out, or even if I am cut out for it. Definately like thuds, little bits of sting, learning about my other likes as I go along and finding out more and more about myself as I do. WHEEEE. :) I think more than anything though I really enjoy the energy swapping that happens. So rushy!
I think that is all...

Re: HI!

[devina]

Poor bums! They go through so much for our endorphin addictions! ;)

There are people very active in TNG who are over 35 now. (Shh!) There people make events happen, so the heck with anyone who says 35 is the cutoff. ;)

You've only been in the public scene for a short while...how about privately? Do you identify as a sub, or as a bottom, or as neither/soemthing else entirely?

[on_reserve]

There people make events happen, so the heck with anyone who says 35 is the cutoff. ;)

this is exactly my problem & why i don't usually go to tng stuff. tng is *supposed* to serve/nourish a particular segment of the kink community. but instead the folks who founded it, who've "aged out" but who everyone agrees are cool, stay & run stuff instead of passing leadership off to ... the next generation. i mean, what's the point? what it means is that tng is more about the particular people already in the group than actually living up to its mission statement ... which makes it cliquey. grr. frustration.

Re:

[devina]

Well, the group (as I'm sure you know, but others may now) is sort of an organized anarchy. If someone doesn't take the initiative to do something, it doesn't get done. There really isn't "leadership," except in the sense of the people who step up and plan things. If the younger crew doesn't do the stepping up, there's really nothing to hand off.

[on_reserve]

i realize it's organized anarchy. lesbian avengers works on organized anarchy too so i'm not entirely unfamiliar with the work model. my problem is there's this very strong message "these are the people who do things" and it's not really encouraged for anyone else to do anything. every time i thought of something i'd get people telling me why i shouldn't do it, instead of being encouraging. what i'm saying is that the people who "do stuff" could take a more active role in mentoring younger people and trying to include them in the event planning rather than just staying the ones who "do stuff." there's an old saying in marketing: "if you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got." you can't just expect new (and esp younger) people to step right up into an unfamiliar group of people and just start throwing stuff ... esp when there's not a lot of support so to do. besides, if people over 35 left, whatever they were doing/running would be picked up by someone else if folks still wanted it -- that's also how

[curly_chick]

Hey everyone!

I am Butrachel. I consider myself a bi/sensual/switch who likes the d/s aspect of the scene, especially as a domme.

In order to start the ball rolling, I will pose this question to you that was posed to me a bit ago.

What do you consider the difference between topping/bottoming and domming/subbing, if you think there is one? Could you give an example of what you would want each one to be in a scene?

[kahoki]

I concur with some of dykeprincess's thoughts on this, and have a few of my own to add