We stuck together through the good and bad times...so glad that I have these friends of mine...
Weird Day..
wrote this to my dad..thought that i would share it with you people.
Hi Chris.
My name is Kayla Largay. I am your daughter. I have decided to write to you at this time in my life because I am at a point where I don't know who I am.
There are so many feelings that I have towards you. Confusion. Hate. Resentment. Just to list a few. How could you possibly have a daughter, and not care. It doesn't make sense to me. If I had a child I would want to be there for it every day, until the day that I die. Guess you're just not normal...
When I was little, and still now, when I'm over at a friends and they're talking to their Dad's something inside me makes me feel so much hate towards you. You weren't there for me when I was born, lost my first tooth, took my first steps. Anything. I wasn't Daddy's little girl. I am so blessed though. I have a Grandfather that loves me more than you could ever possibly love me. Which apparently you don't...
I know who you are, where you live. You're married and have two little girls.
I know this because Jessica Plummer goes to my school, and mentioned something one day.
Do they even know about me? Probably not, not like I'm a big priority in your life. Not that I would really want to be...
I'm 13 now. I'm going to be 14 soon.
What is wrong in your head?? Honestly. I really don't understand. It confuses me, I would stay up at night crying because I felt like no one loved me. I don't mean to dump my problems on you, but I really think that you need to hear what I have to say. I don't even know if you'll finish reading this letter, but I really hope you do. Because under all that hate, I'm just a little girl. Wanting to be loved.
I suppose I should tell you about me. I mean you've never even met me. I'm sorry if you don't care about this, but I am your biological daughter, and it matters to me.
I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how to explain myself to you. I'm trying to write this and not sound so hostile towards you, but that's how I feel at this time in my life.
I'm confused by you, I guess.
My Mom and I are doing great in life. We love each other, and she's been doing a great job at being two parents for me. We have a house, cat, dog...there's not really much more that I need in my life.
I don't know why I'm writing to you now. I just got over a really hard time in my life, where I cut myself. I don't know the exact reason why, but I'm guessing having to grow up without a father had something to do with it. I'm not trying to blame you, I don't know exactly what happened between you and my mother, but I guess she felt at the time that you weren't fit for being a father. I guess you could have fought for me harder though. I mean I am your daughter. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
I dream of being an actress. Going to the city. Living in a big New York City apartment, or just having a simple house on the beach in California. I write poems, songs...anything to express my feelings.
My family loves me. They love me, and they have all been so great through the hardest times in my life. I have an older cousin, Jenny, and she's my "big sister", she helped me deal with the hardest times in my life, and she loves me almost as much as my Mom.
I don't know what else to say to you. Just thanks. For reading this letter. It didn't say everything that I feel, but I don't know if I'll be able to write for that long, and some of the things that I feel, I haven't yet discovered.
Sincerely,
Kayla Marie Largay.