T-minus two hours to go until I move out.
I'm going to Matt's for two weeks.
Then onto my actual residence.
I'm so excited to live with Tyler!
I'm not sure what this whole living with Matt experience is going to bring.
It's exciting, and scary at the same time.
Make or break.
I think it will go fine though.
He said he "lurves" me.
Lol.
<33333 ( Read more... )

Today I realized that I'm always the guinea pig for other people's lives. Brian and I went to lunch, and he told me that he's glad we broke up in a way because it made him realize what was going on in his life. This isn't the first time someone has told me that I've made them figure something about themselves out. I don't want people to be using me ( Read more... )

"There's only somewhere between safe and free, and what people are. The only thing we can be is just human, and that ends up breaking our hearts. We all try so hard to be strong, or free, or safe, or whatever it is we think we need most...and in the end all we can ever be is just us. And it's enough because it has to be. There's not anything else ( Read more... )

"I am made of blue sky and hard rock and I will live this way forever."

The song I'm listening to reminds me of Brian.
It kinda makes me sad.
Thank goodness, it went away.

You know who this is about ( Read more... )

I got home from family vacation yesterday, and I must say that this was one of the better years I've ever had. Spending most of the week drinking, and attempting to avoid Brian's constant texting and phone calls was pretty much the extent of everything. Aunt Dean's memorial service was on Thursday and I found it a lot harder than I thought I would ( Read more... )

Brian seems to still be having issues with the fact that we're apart. He came by today to return my Eve 6 cd, and to give me a new copy of my In Keeping Secrets cd that he scratched up while we were dating. After waiting an hour for him to show up, he finally got here. He asked if he could come in, a harmless thing since all I was doing was ( Read more... )

Okay, so seriously....I didn't expect him to actually take interest in me ( Read more... )

It's going to take one hell of an act of love if Brian ever wants to get back with me.
My trust and patience are gone.
Our conversations got nowhere.
And what his mother said was probably the last straw.

If you still read this, let me know.
I want to know how you feel.
Not that you're sorry.

I wish that was true. I can't stop, and I feel absolutely terrible. All I want is for Brian to call and tell me to come home, but I know that's not going to happen. He's made up his mind. Now I just have to see what life has in store for me from here.