Again, I am drunk. I feel like a relapse; like today something slipped backwards unexpectedly. I've been feeling an increasing disconnect over the last few months between my actual circumstances and my emotions. Today, nothing bad happened. And then I fell down into a spiral, and everything seemed pretty crumby, and then there was vodka. So,
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when i was younger, i thought i would continue to grow and change and evolve until death. and i didn't understand how other people got stuck. but i do now.
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