Remember Harry Whittington, the guy Dick Cheney shot? Did you know his wife's maiden name was Mercedes Baker? She shares her name with a consultant for a wine festival in Napa Valley, an employee at Kulp Art and Design in Illinois, and a student of sculpture at the University of Wisconsin, Oshkosh. So that's where I am now; sitting in the dark, ( Read more... )

By this point, I've learned that my epiphanies are not to be trusted, but let me tell you about this anyway. As I've said, this job is not for me. I just can't do it. Looking back, I should have known this beforehand. I have a fear of the telephone; what was I expecting? So, why did I take (and, in fact, pursue) this job in the first place? ( Read more... )

It feels good to write again. Thank you, Doug ( Read more... )

I registered today for the GRE. June 30 I get to take a standardized test. Woo hoo! Anyway, I decided I must be in an MFA program (hopefully Iowa) by fall 2007. I have to do it. This job triggers an anxiety I can't control.

Coconut cream is my new favorite pie, barring event-specific pies.

Sometimes I really like this job. A lot of the time, I am overcome with anxiety, usually centered squarely in my stomach. It makes me a little miserable. Also, I have ample opportunity to slack off, but when I do, I get massive feelings of guilt and very, very intense anxiety. I'm thinking maybe I ought to seriously look into grad school. I'm ( Read more... )

Now I wear a tie. This morning, I was the first employee to arrive at the office. It was raining. A man with a thick red beard was asleep at our front door. I entered through the back door; no one else asked him to leave, either, but he didn't stay long ( Read more... )

Three days down. I am a proud employee of Lanier Worldwide\Ricoh. Actually, I am pretty proud of our environmental record. Fantastic ( Read more... )

She removed the rest of her possessions from the apartment today. We had the longest and most cordial conversation we've shared since she left. She appears to still be insane. I am recovering. Additionally, she claims to have mailed me a letter today. I quiver with anticipation ( Read more... )

Oh, and another thing about my new job: apparently it wasn't just the personality test that was holding me back. I scored too high on the intelligence test.  I am "too smart for my britches," as my new district manager told me.  I faked my way through the personality test this time (and got a ten out of ten on the "accuracy index," clearly ( Read more... )

A friend I hadn't seen in a few months recently called and said she had a gift for me. Turned out to be a copy of _Dianetics_. I am the target of a conversion attempt. How exciting!

I think I'm going to join Opus Dei.