Seconds later, Lex's phone rang again. Clark was on the other side, running the small stampede that was forming behind him. "Leeeeex, Lois wants me to go to the prom with her and so does the rest of Smallville, except for my mom because that'd be weird, and they all want answers right now. Like, right now. I don't know what to do!"
"Oh my God, Clark, do not go with Lois, she is a bitch," Lex said, eyes widening even as he said it. Oh. Damn. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind of whatever that fishnet-wearing skank had done to him. "Why did we hold the Masquerade Ball in Smallville, that town sucks and tried to kill me like a hundred times." Damn it, talk normally!
"You have to get out of Smallville, Clark. Come stay with me, Metropolis is awesome. Also, I am cooler."
"We should totally have a sleepover! Okay, I'm coming over now. I think I've lost them in the field. W-wait no, they're regrouping. Gotta go. Oh, heh, hey, Chlo--"
Lex was staring at the phone in alarm, pondering how to best crush Chloe Sullivan, when Clark appeared on the balcony to his penthouse, looking extremely ruffled.
"Oh my God, Clark, your hair is ruffled!" Lex said, darting to the door. "Clearly this a sign that you are totally in danger sit down right now." Lex's feelings towards his inner child-or inner teenaged girl, whichever-grew increasingly violent. But this was giving him the opportunity to stroke Clark's hair, so perhaps it all evened out.
Harvey lay on his back in the middle of Bruce's over-sized and oh-so-comfy bed, absentmindedly twirling gum around his forefinger while mouthing the words to a Justin Timberlake song playing on his iPod. He was just really getting into the song when Bruce strode into the room, eying him with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment. Harvey let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a squeal and edged towards the foot of the bed until his head and neck were nearly hanging over the edge. He rolled effortlessly onto his stomach and studied his boyfriend with a coquettish grin.
"Ummmm, I dunno because I was working and then I was like "oh my GOOOOD this is so boring" because, like, who does paperwork anymore anyway! That's what my Hello Kitty laptop is for, duh. I was thinking I should do something more fun! Like paint my nails or do my hair or..." Bruce trailed off, eying Harvey's face critically. How had he allowed this situation to get so out of hand?! "Maybe I should moisturize your face. You've got some serious shit going down on there and it's kinda freaking me out. I mean, you're still my BF and BFF but you need to take care of that!"
Bruce started to take off his shirt when he got a little bit embarrassed. "Um... could you turn away?" he asked with a high-pitched giggle. "I mean, like, you've seen me without a shirt before but, like, it's totally light in here right now. That's totally embarrassing!"
Harvey frowned petulantly, slightly annoyed by both the comment on the condition on his skin and his boyfriend's apparent shyness.
"Stop that," he said with a pout, throwing out a hand to grab Bruce's dress shirt and pull him onto the bed.
"You're right, I am your BFF. Like, I've known you forever. Okay, so more like a year, but that's almost forever. You can totally not wear a shirt in front of me. I won't, like, take advantage of you or anything. God."
Harvey averted his eyes with a sigh as Bruce turned away, sitting on the edge of of the bed while he quickly and carefully unbuttoned his shirt, intermittently casting wary glances over his shoulder at Harvey.
"Bruce, I'm bored," Harvey whined after a long period of silence during which he was deprived the pleasure of hearing his own voice.
"Let's go somewhere. I mean, your house is nice and all, but it's like a freaking museum or something. We should get out for a night. You never take me anywhere nice."
"Oh my God, we totally should go somewhere. Like the mall! Or... the movies! Or we could go to one of those fancy dinner places. I mean, like, we don't even have to go halfsies or anything because you know how rich I am. I'm, like, soooo glad I have all this money. Because it would totally blow to have to save up money to get my manicures!"
Bruce examined his fingernails at at the chipping clear paint on them. His cuticles were getting a little frayed, too, and it was bothering him far more than it should have been.
"And, like, for manicures, I should get a totally new color. I'm so boring with my clear polish all the time, gawd. Okay okay don't give me that look, you stupid bitch," he said, hitting Harvey on the arm playfully and smiling. "What do you wanna do, anyways? You're the picky whore."
Jon tossed his hair with flair and pushed open the door to the lab. He had woken up this morning feeling absolutely fabulous, and it only improved as the day went on. Only a few hours ago, his mood lifted from the drudgery of the day- and the difficulty of being an adult cross-dresser- to an incredible cheer that just made him want to chew bubble gum and click his pink heels together.
The click-clack of the tweed stilettos echoed off of metal shelves and stark white walls of the vast weapons room as he approached his bald compatriot in evil. With a final application of cherry chapstick, he walked up to the man and tapped his shoulder.
"Hey, girl!" Lex responded. Let me die. Where is the button that fills the room with poison gas? "You are looking significantly more fabulous than usual. I'm doing science right now."
"Oh shit, y'all, science is like my favorite ever," Jon squealed. "Except for guns and these fierce fucking shoes. Did I show you? They were totally 30% off at TJ Maxx."
He pulled up a chair next to Lex and began examining a random gun that was lying around.
"You did show me. They would be more fierce if they were purple, but that could just be me," Lex said, watching a beaker of chemicals boil. "I am totally trying to end this teenage girl nonsense. I'm going to do it with SCIENCE. If that doesn't work, I am just going to start playing with the stuff in here until I get an idea for awesome revenge on Zatanna."
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"You have to get out of Smallville, Clark. Come stay with me, Metropolis is awesome. Also, I am cooler."
DAMN IT!
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The line went dead.
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"Oh my God, Clark, your hair is ruffled!" Lex said, darting to the door. "Clearly this a sign that you are totally in danger sit down right now." Lex's feelings towards his inner child-or inner teenaged girl, whichever-grew increasingly violent. But this was giving him the opportunity to stroke Clark's hair, so perhaps it all evened out.
Reply
Harvey lay on his back in the middle of Bruce's over-sized and oh-so-comfy bed, absentmindedly twirling gum around his forefinger while mouthing the words to a Justin Timberlake song playing on his iPod. He was just really getting into the song when Bruce strode into the room, eying him with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment. Harvey let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a squeal and edged towards the foot of the bed until his head and neck were nearly hanging over the edge. He rolled effortlessly onto his stomach and studied his boyfriend with a coquettish grin.
"Whatcha doin'?"
Reply
Bruce started to take off his shirt when he got a little bit embarrassed. "Um... could you turn away?" he asked with a high-pitched giggle. "I mean, like, you've seen me without a shirt before but, like, it's totally light in here right now. That's totally embarrassing!"
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"Stop that," he said with a pout, throwing out a hand to grab Bruce's dress shirt and pull him onto the bed.
"You're right, I am your BFF. Like, I've known you forever. Okay, so more like a year, but that's almost forever. You can totally not wear a shirt in front of me. I won't, like, take advantage of you or anything. God."
Harvey averted his eyes with a sigh as Bruce turned away, sitting on the edge of of the bed while he quickly and carefully unbuttoned his shirt, intermittently casting wary glances over his shoulder at Harvey.
"Bruce, I'm bored," Harvey whined after a long period of silence during which he was deprived the pleasure of hearing his own voice.
"Let's go somewhere. I mean, your house is nice and all, but it's like a freaking museum or something. We should get out for a night. You never take me anywhere nice."
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Bruce examined his fingernails at at the chipping clear paint on them. His cuticles were getting a little frayed, too, and it was bothering him far more than it should have been.
"And, like, for manicures, I should get a totally new color. I'm so boring with my clear polish all the time, gawd. Okay okay don't give me that look, you stupid bitch," he said, hitting Harvey on the arm playfully and smiling. "What do you wanna do, anyways? You're the picky whore."
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The click-clack of the tweed stilettos echoed off of metal shelves and stark white walls of the vast weapons room as he approached his bald compatriot in evil. With a final application of cherry chapstick, he walked up to the man and tapped his shoulder.
"Omigawd, Lex! Like, hi!"
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He pulled up a chair next to Lex and began examining a random gun that was lying around.
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