I think i broke my toe

I PASSED THE MCCT I PASSED WOOOOHOOOOO I PASSED AN EASY TEST! YES

When I brush my teeth I like to think some guys are giving me shit and I'm all "What are you looking at man, I'm brushing my teeth. You want some of this? you can't handle it, you can't handle it to the point that i'm just gonna brush my teeth" Yeah...weird thoughts go through my head when i brush my teeth.

i have found the best cartoon ever made. A wild cat in a suit says "Let me at the cocaine baguette" in it

WhaT.The.Fuck. It's Early.

Yea...my car is dead, my boss lied to me about giving me a raise, my best friend got a traffic ticket because i asked her to pick me up from work and...yeah. I'm spent

I've canceled wow. there's better things to do, like unscrewing screws and rescrewing them

I totally just downloaded the Vengaboys party album.

Thank you friends for giving me a great birthday and intoxicants of all verities et cerials of sugary sin. Thank you family for not calling, not writing, and not so much as giving me a happy birthday card.

I made it back from chicago. no presents for anyone sorry...unless you'd like a 25 cent CTA card.