some days all I want is a normal life. loving partner, recognition, jesus loves me, the works. i'm tired of feeling like i'm the world's servant, unworthy of feeling desire because of the consequences or even some fundamentals of respect.
i'm in love with one of my bestfriends and the know it. they have an issue with dating in general and can't get over it so we're at a stallmate. although i've told them that we're to stay just friends because i can't deal with the half-way thing, i still only want to be with them. sometimes i catch them watching me and i know how good we'd be together if only they would try.
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he's fat.
& bald.
but still incredibly good looking. I can't even concentrate on my schoolwork.
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and last nite she flat out told my my beliefs were wrong.
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it's hard for that love to not turn to hate.
and i'm terrified it will.
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