I've been talking about this with some people recently. Casual sex. I've always been conflicted about it, because I just don't know how it works. Different people have different philosophies
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On a personal note, I find that casual sex has begun to repel me, although I'll still engage in it (particularly after drinking heavily). I like your theories.
The idea of physical closeness being directly related to emotional closeness has always been strange to me. You can be emotionally very close to some one without being physically attracted. so we know that they're not related that way. This always bugs me a bit.
Yeah. I can see that. I think physical attraction without emotional attraction is totally possible and fairly frequent (ups being 60% female), but I find myself thinking physical intimacy is best when there's complementary emotional intimacy. Like the difference between fucking and making love. Or something.
However, there are inevitably be occasions when you find yourself comparing experiences. And it sometimes happens that the physical intimacy with someone you feel casually about is better than with someone you feel strongly about. It blows. But it does happen.
So the casual sexual experience has the potential to devalue other otherwise meaningful sexual experiences by comparison? I suppose I could agree, though I find physical intimacy to be so different in different circumstances to not really do much comparing. Or when comparing not do so on a scale or continuum.
We are human. We can't help but compare. Those that say they don't are either lying to others or themselves. It is natural, and how we develop - especially romatically. If I didn't compare, I would still be looking for a nice mormon boy to date. And where would that get me? Definitely not laid.
Casual sex...is complicated, at best. Your tiers encompass a lot of those complications. In my experience, you can jump back and forth between tiers as feelings for people change. It is less complicated in the one night stand realm. The longer a casual sex relationship goes on, the more complicated it gets. Someone will inevitably get attatched and jealous and confused. I've had my share of casual sex, and for the sake of your heart, I don't recommend it. Though it can be fun and pleasureable, for the most part it's a painful, lonely existence.
I tend to agree, which is why I generally abstain. We've talked about this before in the SUB. One night stands fall in my tier two, I suppose. Long term casual sex "fuck buddies" I think can only happen in my tier four, or else jealousy and confusion can complicate things. Like "casual sex is okay, as long as we're only doing it with each other." It's impractical. Thus the complication of T3.
Possible. You talk about the possibility of establishing a 4. I haven't really thought about that part of the process. Like Amy said, people can change around from tier to tier. I tend to think of successful 3s as 4s. Maybe I'm too worried about the complications 3s to let them get to 4s.
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On a personal note, I find that casual sex has begun to repel me, although I'll still engage in it (particularly after drinking heavily). I like your theories.
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Zing!
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Wow. That makes me sound like an awful person.
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I don't know who I'm kidding. You have a point.
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No holds barred here.
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