i know it's been a while
just thought i'd throw something down, even though it's 3:30 pm already, since when i first woke up i remembered this one pretty clearly. it was like i was in acdec again, only the competition was at a stadium, i knew i was already a college student, and i was competing very half-assed, last-minute style and was scrounging around for something of the appropriate level of formality; i remember discarding the idea of wearing my prom dress due to weight gained, and i remember looking in gift shops, and somehow coming up with a reasonable approximation of the suit type thing i actually wore for acdec. but in keeping with my recent encounters with presh's dog, i somehow wound up with dog poop on my cuff... at some point, i realized, in a manner far too logical for dreams, that speech was part of acdec and that i didn't have one, and gave up on finding a parking space (which is where i was in the process at the time, i guess) and left... later i remember being at amanda's house (only, not really, of course) well, maybe it was someone else... the definite-ness of identity isn't really there for me in dreams. but we decided to leave and go somewhere... i guess that's all i've got... relatively speaking, i've been recalling rather coherent segments of my dreams... i know recently there was a lesbian party, and that sharene was there but we were already in our current together-but-open mode.
oh, and i failed a class this semester, and am in the gradual process of jumping through hoops in order to maintain the financial support i need from my parents. some of the reqs: no weed, whatsoever, with drug testing threatened; no alcohol save on weekends; 6 counseling sessions, probably from UT health services, since i'm poor; a visit to the doctor to see whether i'm diagnosably ADD, and i have to take out a stafford loan to compensate for the class that i'm retaking and the scholarship money lost. honestly... i've begun to think that the problem is less due to lack of discipline, and more due to lack of genuine desire to leave my joyful, childish neuroses behind and become a productive member of society. anyhoo, presh and lindsay are over, and i should go pretend to be hospitible.
oh, and i failed a class this semester, and am in the gradual process of jumping through hoops in order to maintain the financial support i need from my parents. some of the reqs: no weed, whatsoever, with drug testing threatened; no alcohol save on weekends; 6 counseling sessions, probably from UT health services, since i'm poor; a visit to the doctor to see whether i'm diagnosably ADD, and i have to take out a stafford loan to compensate for the class that i'm retaking and the scholarship money lost. honestly... i've begun to think that the problem is less due to lack of discipline, and more due to lack of genuine desire to leave my joyful, childish neuroses behind and become a productive member of society. anyhoo, presh and lindsay are over, and i should go pretend to be hospitible.