Assassa-ninja Rapists
Have you ever felt like you were being followed as you walked around your campus late at night? Well don't listen to those people who tell you not to worry....because I've got some bad news.
Out there, lurking above every church, in every hay cart and in every aqueduct are Assassa-ninja rapists just waiting for some poor unsuspecting shmuck to walk just a little too close.
Now, you don't need to be dressed in shiny armor to be targeted by these hooded menaces. These poor folks didn't know what hit them and they were just in the way of this Assassa-ninja rapists real target.
You may ask yourself: "how do I know who is a Assassa-ninja rapist or not. THEY LOOK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!" Really, your best bet is to just accuse everyone you see who climbs buildings, swims in rivers, walks past you too fast, looks at you funny or prays in public.
So walkers of the night beware. Because these public menaces are out there. Don't be fooled by their kindly ways or inconspicuous white robes. Not all Assassa-ninja Rapists are this obvious about their sexually deviant ways. They may act cavalier with their coy smirk and speak in a soothing Italian accent to try to lull you into trusting them.
.....Okay, don't answer that....But seriously!! Don't be fooled. So many walking their college campuses have fallen prey to these Assassa-ninja rapists. Just look at poor Steve, God rest his soul....
Please don't become another Steve. Read those notices posted around your city, even if some moron posted them to the wall of the second story of a building. I would suggest waking in pairs, but there have been recent reports of attacks even on unsuspecting couples. Funny how it's always the woman who disappears....
Anyway! Next time you walk around after dark (or during the day for that matter) be aware that there are Assassa-ninja rapists lurking around every rooftop.
Out there, lurking above every church, in every hay cart and in every aqueduct are Assassa-ninja rapists just waiting for some poor unsuspecting shmuck to walk just a little too close.
Now, you don't need to be dressed in shiny armor to be targeted by these hooded menaces. These poor folks didn't know what hit them and they were just in the way of this Assassa-ninja rapists real target.
You may ask yourself: "how do I know who is a Assassa-ninja rapist or not. THEY LOOK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!" Really, your best bet is to just accuse everyone you see who climbs buildings, swims in rivers, walks past you too fast, looks at you funny or prays in public.
So walkers of the night beware. Because these public menaces are out there. Don't be fooled by their kindly ways or inconspicuous white robes. Not all Assassa-ninja Rapists are this obvious about their sexually deviant ways. They may act cavalier with their coy smirk and speak in a soothing Italian accent to try to lull you into trusting them.
.....Okay, don't answer that....But seriously!! Don't be fooled. So many walking their college campuses have fallen prey to these Assassa-ninja rapists. Just look at poor Steve, God rest his soul....
Please don't become another Steve. Read those notices posted around your city, even if some moron posted them to the wall of the second story of a building. I would suggest waking in pairs, but there have been recent reports of attacks even on unsuspecting couples. Funny how it's always the woman who disappears....
Anyway! Next time you walk around after dark (or during the day for that matter) be aware that there are Assassa-ninja rapists lurking around every rooftop.