The start of something new
Title: The start of something new
Pairing: Hokuto/Juri
Rating: G
Summary: Tetsuya’s feelings won’t leave Hokuto alone even after the workday.
Warnings: Spoils a little bit from the ending of the Bakaleya movie.
Word count: 1960
I dedicate this fic to the Angry people. Because you girls know how it feels like.
- - -
Another day of filming is in the end and the classrooms serving as dressing rooms are full of noise when the young actors and actresses change into their own clothes and (in the boys’ side) wash away the fake bruises before they can go out in public again.
“Aah, I’m so hungry!” Jesse announces and stretches his arms. Juri, who’s been changing his clothes next to him, grins mischievously behind his back and pokes his index fingers between Jesse’s ribs, making the other boy flinch with a ridiculous squealing noise. Everyone laughs and Juri turns victoriously around, intending to high-five with Hokuto.
“Huh, where is he?” he asks confusedly and blinks at Hokuto’s empty chair and the clothing bar where Tetsuya’s school uniform is tidily hung to wait for the next shooting day.
“What’s missing?” Shintaro asks when he brings his own costume to the same clothing bar.
“Hokuto is,” Juri says, “he sure was fast. I didn’t see him leaving. Did you?”
“Nope,” Shintaro says and shrugs. “We came here together but I didn’t pay much attention to this side of the room after that,” he admits.
“Maybe he was busy,” Taiga suggests and hangs Maya’s clothes next on the line, “he left a few minutes ago, looking like he was a bit hurried and completely in his own world at the same time.”
Juri frowns at the others’ words. Now that he thinks about it, Hokuto hasn’t been joking and laughing with them at all during the past afternoon.
“I wonder if everything‘s all right with him,” Juri murmurs and mentally scolds himself for not noticing his friend’s silence earlier. Shintaro nods quietly when Juri quickly throws the rest of his things into his bag and throws the bag on his shoulder. “I’ll try if I can catch him and ask if he’s all right, just in case.”
“Message me when you find out,” Shintaro asks and Juri promises, waving his hand to his friends and the staff, and leaves the classroom.
Juri jogs down the hallway and staircase, glancing out of the windows to see if Hokuto is out at the school yard already. Right before the main doors he comes across with some of the girls they’re working with.
“Excuse me, have you seen Hokuto around here?” he calls across the hall.
“Matsumura-kun?” Shimazaki asks and tilts her head, thinking for a few seconds. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve seen him after we all went to change.”
“I saw him,” Mitsumune says and beckons towards the staircases, “he was right in front of me when I came down here but I stopped to talk with Mina-chan on the way. I said bye to him but he didn't even look behind. I guess he didn’t hear me.”
Having heard enough, Juri hurriedly thanks the girls and rushes out of the doors and the gates of the school, to the pedestrian road. It definitely isn’t like Hokuto to leave quietly like that, without talking to anyone, and Juri is starting to get worried.
“Moron,” he hisses as he fishes his cell phone from his pocket and scrolls down the list of contacts until he finds Hokuto’s name. “Where did you go?”
He’s just about to press the call button when he sees a familiar back further ahead. Hokuto is walking towards the train station slowly, shoulders slumped and hands pushed deep into his pockets. There’s something in his whole appearance that makes Juri’s heart ache a bit. It’s not often that he sees the other so moody.
“Hokuto,” Juri cries out and runs after him. Hokuto stops and turns around. At first he looks surprised and almost startled before the expression settles down and he simply raises his eyebrows questioningly.
“What is it?” he asks when Juri halts next to him, gasping for breath. “Forgot your station is in the opposite direction?”
“Like I care,” Juri snorts and frowns. “Don’t just vanish like that! At least tell us when you’re leaving!”
Juri feels embarrassed for having over-reacted the way he did and the words come out more accusing than he meant them to. Fortunately, Hokuto doesn’t seem to be bothered. The boy simply looks at him and shrugs nonchalantly.
“Oh? I’m sorry. I didn’t notice.”
“You didn’t notice us?” Juri repeats and Hokuto must realize how stupid it sounds like as he finally smiles a bit and apologetically shakes his head. Juri, however, isn’t going to give up that easily. “What is it?” he demands and sticks to Hokuto’s side when they continue walking towards the station.
“It’s nothing special,” Hokuto says lightly and flashes him such a fake smile that Juri really shivers at it.
“I don’t believe you,” he simply says, “I’m not going to ask many times so you could as well tell me right away what the hell is bothering you like that.”
At first Hokuto looks like he’d like to object but then he just sighs and shakes his head with an abashed smile.
“It’s stupid.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“Just shut up and tell me already,” Juri says and grabs Hokuto’s sleeve, forcing the other to look at him. Hokuto flinches and pulls his arm free but at least he lets their eyes meet for a second before turning away again.
“Fine. Do you ever feel like… like you couldn’t quite dress Satoshi off along with the school uniform?” Hokuto finally asks, “You know, as if he’d just stay there, hanging around in your mind even when you’re not working anymore.”
“Uh… I’m not sure,” Juri admits and frowns, “What do you mean? Is that what’s making you look so miserable?”
“Well, yeah,” Hokuto says and lets out a small awkward laugh. “I don't know how to explain it but it feels weird to still keep pining over Fumie even right at the moment.”
“Shimazaki-san?” Juri asks and Hokuto quickly shakes his head.
“No, no. It’s not about her at all. Just Fumie. These are all Tetsuya’s feelings, not mine. His feelings aren’t leaving me alone. Today’s filming wasn’t easy for him - you know, he’s kind of heartbroken now - and to be honest I understand his feelings quite well even though--”
All of a sudden Hokuto shuts his mouth and Juri can hardly hide his confusion about Hokuto suddenly opening up to him like that. He has got used to separate himself from his drama characters long ago already and doesn’t feel weird anymore when talking about the characters’ feelings. (“It’s like borrowing your physical body for someone else’s mind and feelings for a while,” Takaki had once said when they had talked about the matter.) Hokuto’s problem, however, is new to Juri.
“You mean, uh. Like, Tetsuya won’t… go to sleep in your head even when he’s supposed to?”
“Something like that,” Hokuto says and shrugs, looking down and then up into Juri’s eyes. “I mean, I really had quite a nice day at work today. It's not me who is sad but him, and I can’t just suddenly stop feeling his feelings. And I guess part of this is that I feel bad for him. I mean, it hurts. To look at someone you know you can never get.”
Something in Hokuto’s eyes makes Juri twitch a bit. He recognizes the look, having seen the way Tetsuya stares at Fumie during the drama shootings. He’s never been under that gaze himself, however, and there’s something in Hokuto’s dark eyes that makes him feel weird. He could almost say Hokuto looks determined and scared at the same time and it confuses him.
“But it will get better, right?” Juri rushes to ask, “He’ll feel better in the end, declaring to be rivals with Tatsuya and all.”
“I guess he’ll feel slightly better,” Hokuto admits, “but in fact he’s already really good at smiling even when he feels like curling up to cry in some safe corner. He’ll simply have to get better at it.”
“It’s not like him at all. He wouldn’t do that,” Juri chuckles and shivers at Hokuto’s joyless chuckle.
“Yeah, he wouldn’t cry when someone else is seeing. But, you know, sometimes he can’t help it. Sometimes he can hardly keep it inside until he gets back home.”
All of a sudden something in Hokuto’s voice makes Juri realize it’s not just Tetsuya they’re talking about anymore, and he’s sure Hokuto is aware of that, too.
“He often wishes he could confess her properly,” Hokuto says softly, “But he can’t, after all. Of course he can’t, it wouldn’t fit in the manuscript. He has actually planned it many times in his head. How to tell her, I mean. It’s ridiculous and he knows it,” he continues and quickly glances at Juri who can’t help a shiver, “He probably knows already he’s going to have his heart broken in the end.”
“He shouldn’t give up so easily!” Juri says firmly, surprising even himself. He stares at the road in front of him and his mind is flooded with memories of every single time Hokuto has touched him lately. At the same time he figures out the reason of having often felt like someone was staring at him behind him. He glances up and meets Hokuto’s eyes where the familiar anxious longing still wavers, yet this time there is a new kind of hope mixed into the look, and finally it all makes sense.
“Do you really think so?” Hokuto asks. His voice is hardly audible and Juri makes his decision right there.
“Yes,” he affirms and takes a deep breath, wishing his suddenly racing heart would calm down even a little bit. Then Hokuto suddenly smiles for real and it feels like Juri’s heart completely stops for a moment.
“Thank you,” Hokuto sighs and Juri shakes his head, feeling relieved with the tension between them slowly dispelling.
There are many things Juri would like to talk about but at the same time he knows it’s not time for that just yet, and they walk the rest of the road in comfortable silence, both deep in their own thoughts.
“Say, Juri,” Hokuto asks at the electronic gates of the train station, fiddling with his travel card, “It’s just a suggestion but… do you think he could ask her out for a dinner someday?”
“It sounds like a great idea to me,” Juri says and smiles at the other, wishing more than anything that the smile will convey his real meaning to Hokuto. “He’ll just need to be brave enough to ask.”
They finally seem to be on the same wavelength and the mixture of feelings that spreads on Hokuto’s face is almost amusing. On the next moment Hokuto smiles back at Juri like he has never done before and Juri has to swallow a couple of times with how breathtaking Hokuto’s smile is.
A short cheerful melody rings through the station and the voice from the speakers announces the next train will arrive in two minutes.
“You’ve got to go,” Juri says and Hokuto nods, brushes his travel card across the card reader of the gate and steps through. Juri turns to leave but he only manages to take a few steps before he hears Hokuto calling his name and he turns around again.
“He will be brave enough, someday!” Hokuto yells and then rushes to the stairs of his platform.
“I’ll be waiting,” Juri promises quietly and smiles at the new yet nice feeling of small butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
- - -
Pairing: Hokuto/Juri
Rating: G
Summary: Tetsuya’s feelings won’t leave Hokuto alone even after the workday.
Warnings: Spoils a little bit from the ending of the Bakaleya movie.
Word count: 1960
I dedicate this fic to the Angry people. Because you girls know how it feels like.
- - -
Another day of filming is in the end and the classrooms serving as dressing rooms are full of noise when the young actors and actresses change into their own clothes and (in the boys’ side) wash away the fake bruises before they can go out in public again.
“Aah, I’m so hungry!” Jesse announces and stretches his arms. Juri, who’s been changing his clothes next to him, grins mischievously behind his back and pokes his index fingers between Jesse’s ribs, making the other boy flinch with a ridiculous squealing noise. Everyone laughs and Juri turns victoriously around, intending to high-five with Hokuto.
“Huh, where is he?” he asks confusedly and blinks at Hokuto’s empty chair and the clothing bar where Tetsuya’s school uniform is tidily hung to wait for the next shooting day.
“What’s missing?” Shintaro asks when he brings his own costume to the same clothing bar.
“Hokuto is,” Juri says, “he sure was fast. I didn’t see him leaving. Did you?”
“Nope,” Shintaro says and shrugs. “We came here together but I didn’t pay much attention to this side of the room after that,” he admits.
“Maybe he was busy,” Taiga suggests and hangs Maya’s clothes next on the line, “he left a few minutes ago, looking like he was a bit hurried and completely in his own world at the same time.”
Juri frowns at the others’ words. Now that he thinks about it, Hokuto hasn’t been joking and laughing with them at all during the past afternoon.
“I wonder if everything‘s all right with him,” Juri murmurs and mentally scolds himself for not noticing his friend’s silence earlier. Shintaro nods quietly when Juri quickly throws the rest of his things into his bag and throws the bag on his shoulder. “I’ll try if I can catch him and ask if he’s all right, just in case.”
“Message me when you find out,” Shintaro asks and Juri promises, waving his hand to his friends and the staff, and leaves the classroom.
Juri jogs down the hallway and staircase, glancing out of the windows to see if Hokuto is out at the school yard already. Right before the main doors he comes across with some of the girls they’re working with.
“Excuse me, have you seen Hokuto around here?” he calls across the hall.
“Matsumura-kun?” Shimazaki asks and tilts her head, thinking for a few seconds. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve seen him after we all went to change.”
“I saw him,” Mitsumune says and beckons towards the staircases, “he was right in front of me when I came down here but I stopped to talk with Mina-chan on the way. I said bye to him but he didn't even look behind. I guess he didn’t hear me.”
Having heard enough, Juri hurriedly thanks the girls and rushes out of the doors and the gates of the school, to the pedestrian road. It definitely isn’t like Hokuto to leave quietly like that, without talking to anyone, and Juri is starting to get worried.
“Moron,” he hisses as he fishes his cell phone from his pocket and scrolls down the list of contacts until he finds Hokuto’s name. “Where did you go?”
He’s just about to press the call button when he sees a familiar back further ahead. Hokuto is walking towards the train station slowly, shoulders slumped and hands pushed deep into his pockets. There’s something in his whole appearance that makes Juri’s heart ache a bit. It’s not often that he sees the other so moody.
“Hokuto,” Juri cries out and runs after him. Hokuto stops and turns around. At first he looks surprised and almost startled before the expression settles down and he simply raises his eyebrows questioningly.
“What is it?” he asks when Juri halts next to him, gasping for breath. “Forgot your station is in the opposite direction?”
“Like I care,” Juri snorts and frowns. “Don’t just vanish like that! At least tell us when you’re leaving!”
Juri feels embarrassed for having over-reacted the way he did and the words come out more accusing than he meant them to. Fortunately, Hokuto doesn’t seem to be bothered. The boy simply looks at him and shrugs nonchalantly.
“Oh? I’m sorry. I didn’t notice.”
“You didn’t notice us?” Juri repeats and Hokuto must realize how stupid it sounds like as he finally smiles a bit and apologetically shakes his head. Juri, however, isn’t going to give up that easily. “What is it?” he demands and sticks to Hokuto’s side when they continue walking towards the station.
“It’s nothing special,” Hokuto says lightly and flashes him such a fake smile that Juri really shivers at it.
“I don’t believe you,” he simply says, “I’m not going to ask many times so you could as well tell me right away what the hell is bothering you like that.”
At first Hokuto looks like he’d like to object but then he just sighs and shakes his head with an abashed smile.
“It’s stupid.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“Just shut up and tell me already,” Juri says and grabs Hokuto’s sleeve, forcing the other to look at him. Hokuto flinches and pulls his arm free but at least he lets their eyes meet for a second before turning away again.
“Fine. Do you ever feel like… like you couldn’t quite dress Satoshi off along with the school uniform?” Hokuto finally asks, “You know, as if he’d just stay there, hanging around in your mind even when you’re not working anymore.”
“Uh… I’m not sure,” Juri admits and frowns, “What do you mean? Is that what’s making you look so miserable?”
“Well, yeah,” Hokuto says and lets out a small awkward laugh. “I don't know how to explain it but it feels weird to still keep pining over Fumie even right at the moment.”
“Shimazaki-san?” Juri asks and Hokuto quickly shakes his head.
“No, no. It’s not about her at all. Just Fumie. These are all Tetsuya’s feelings, not mine. His feelings aren’t leaving me alone. Today’s filming wasn’t easy for him - you know, he’s kind of heartbroken now - and to be honest I understand his feelings quite well even though--”
All of a sudden Hokuto shuts his mouth and Juri can hardly hide his confusion about Hokuto suddenly opening up to him like that. He has got used to separate himself from his drama characters long ago already and doesn’t feel weird anymore when talking about the characters’ feelings. (“It’s like borrowing your physical body for someone else’s mind and feelings for a while,” Takaki had once said when they had talked about the matter.) Hokuto’s problem, however, is new to Juri.
“You mean, uh. Like, Tetsuya won’t… go to sleep in your head even when he’s supposed to?”
“Something like that,” Hokuto says and shrugs, looking down and then up into Juri’s eyes. “I mean, I really had quite a nice day at work today. It's not me who is sad but him, and I can’t just suddenly stop feeling his feelings. And I guess part of this is that I feel bad for him. I mean, it hurts. To look at someone you know you can never get.”
Something in Hokuto’s eyes makes Juri twitch a bit. He recognizes the look, having seen the way Tetsuya stares at Fumie during the drama shootings. He’s never been under that gaze himself, however, and there’s something in Hokuto’s dark eyes that makes him feel weird. He could almost say Hokuto looks determined and scared at the same time and it confuses him.
“But it will get better, right?” Juri rushes to ask, “He’ll feel better in the end, declaring to be rivals with Tatsuya and all.”
“I guess he’ll feel slightly better,” Hokuto admits, “but in fact he’s already really good at smiling even when he feels like curling up to cry in some safe corner. He’ll simply have to get better at it.”
“It’s not like him at all. He wouldn’t do that,” Juri chuckles and shivers at Hokuto’s joyless chuckle.
“Yeah, he wouldn’t cry when someone else is seeing. But, you know, sometimes he can’t help it. Sometimes he can hardly keep it inside until he gets back home.”
All of a sudden something in Hokuto’s voice makes Juri realize it’s not just Tetsuya they’re talking about anymore, and he’s sure Hokuto is aware of that, too.
“He often wishes he could confess her properly,” Hokuto says softly, “But he can’t, after all. Of course he can’t, it wouldn’t fit in the manuscript. He has actually planned it many times in his head. How to tell her, I mean. It’s ridiculous and he knows it,” he continues and quickly glances at Juri who can’t help a shiver, “He probably knows already he’s going to have his heart broken in the end.”
“He shouldn’t give up so easily!” Juri says firmly, surprising even himself. He stares at the road in front of him and his mind is flooded with memories of every single time Hokuto has touched him lately. At the same time he figures out the reason of having often felt like someone was staring at him behind him. He glances up and meets Hokuto’s eyes where the familiar anxious longing still wavers, yet this time there is a new kind of hope mixed into the look, and finally it all makes sense.
“Do you really think so?” Hokuto asks. His voice is hardly audible and Juri makes his decision right there.
“Yes,” he affirms and takes a deep breath, wishing his suddenly racing heart would calm down even a little bit. Then Hokuto suddenly smiles for real and it feels like Juri’s heart completely stops for a moment.
“Thank you,” Hokuto sighs and Juri shakes his head, feeling relieved with the tension between them slowly dispelling.
There are many things Juri would like to talk about but at the same time he knows it’s not time for that just yet, and they walk the rest of the road in comfortable silence, both deep in their own thoughts.
“Say, Juri,” Hokuto asks at the electronic gates of the train station, fiddling with his travel card, “It’s just a suggestion but… do you think he could ask her out for a dinner someday?”
“It sounds like a great idea to me,” Juri says and smiles at the other, wishing more than anything that the smile will convey his real meaning to Hokuto. “He’ll just need to be brave enough to ask.”
They finally seem to be on the same wavelength and the mixture of feelings that spreads on Hokuto’s face is almost amusing. On the next moment Hokuto smiles back at Juri like he has never done before and Juri has to swallow a couple of times with how breathtaking Hokuto’s smile is.
A short cheerful melody rings through the station and the voice from the speakers announces the next train will arrive in two minutes.
“You’ve got to go,” Juri says and Hokuto nods, brushes his travel card across the card reader of the gate and steps through. Juri turns to leave but he only manages to take a few steps before he hears Hokuto calling his name and he turns around again.
“He will be brave enough, someday!” Hokuto yells and then rushes to the stairs of his platform.
“I’ll be waiting,” Juri promises quietly and smiles at the new yet nice feeling of small butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
- - -