Jailbirds - Part 1
"For people like us the first mistake might be the last one. Never let your guard down, Nika. Never."
For years Nikaido had lived on the streets, keeping Kitayama's words in his mind. But as he stared at the black gun aimed at him, he knew they both had failed miserably.
- - -
"Throw him in there with the other one," someone said, and Kitayama raised his head from his knees. He was going to get company. Did it mean they had taken Fujigaya or Yokoo, too? An uneasy feeling made him frown. It was bad enough that he had to be here. He didn't want anyone else to get in trouble because of him.
The door opened and two men dragged in a young, unconscious blood stained boy. He knew that the men were Tsukada and Goseki but he didn't recognize the boy before the others had left and he had time to take a better look.
Kitayama was surprised to see the familiar face - the dark brows, cat-like lips and messy hair. Even though the child he had known had grown up to be a young man, Kitayama would have recognized him anywhere. What the hell was Nikaido Takashi doing here?
They had been comrades once, back when Kitayama had formed his gang and found Nikaido alone from the streets. He had taken the kid along and taught him everything he needed to know: how to get food, where to sleep, how to evade the police and social workers… Staying alive, team work, fighting. Kitayama and his mates had even taught reading and writing to Nikaido and the other kids they had taken care of.
Until four years ago everything had gone fine. But then they had had a great fight with another young group of delinquents. It had ended in the worst possible way and as a result of that their own group had been divided in two. Nikaido, along with Senga, had turned against the others and accused them of not stopping their friend and thus causing Iida's death. The tension between them had got worse every day and finally the youngest ones had left, Tamamori and Miyata going along with them.
Kitayama didn't know where the boys had gone and he had always pretended not to care. However, the truth was he had missed the boys and worried about them. Especially Nikaido, who had been like a little brother to him.
The wound on Nikaido's forehead was still bleeding slightly. It didn't look dangerous but Kitayama decided he should clean it anyway. He didn't have anything special for first aid there, only water and toilet paper, but they served the purpose anyway.
As he was wiping the dried blood away, Nikaido whimpered quietly and withdrew his head away from Kitayama's hands.
"Shh, it's okay," the older one whispered and suddenly the boy was completely awake. He bounced into a sitting position looking startled.
"Calm down, Nika" Kitayama said, frowning, "I was just trying to help you."
For a short moment the younger one looked surprised.
"Kitamit… yama?" He started happily, but in the middle of the word his expression turned back to serious, even obstructive.
"What're you doing here?" he asked rudely, ready to protect himself even though he still looked a bit dizzy.
"I could ask you the same thing," Kitayama said and shrugged, trying to stay cool and calm. He didn't want the other to see how bad he felt. It was clear that Nikaido still despised him.
"Got caught," Nikaido said, as if it explained everything, and seeing his expression Kitayama could tell that he wasn't going to tell him more. And as he had guessed, Nikaido kept quiet the whole evening. Even though Kitayama tried to talk to him he just sat in the corner of the room, curled into a small ball, hiding his face behind his knees and arms.
There was only one bed in the room and although it was wide enough for two people, Nikaido refused to sleep next to the older one. Whatever Kitayama said or did, the boy just sat in the corner, staring at the wall until he fell asleep. At least he had accepted the blanket that Kitayama had thrown him from the bed.
-
Nikaido's silence continued the next day. Glancing at him every now and then Kitayama couldn't help wondering what the other might be thinking about.
Kitayama had always been patient by nature but by the following evening he was completely fed up with the other boy's withdrawn and hostile attitude.
"Who the hell do you think you're ignoring?!" he grunted, heading to Nikaido's corner and trying hard to restrain the anger inside his mind. When the black haired boy still kept quiet and refused to look at him in the eyes, he grabbed the sleeve of Nikaido's jacket and yanked the boy on his feet.
He hadn't realized before how tall Nikaido really was when standing in front of him like that.
"Why do you keep bothering me anyway?" the younger one snapped with dark, defiant eyes and tweaked his sleeve back to himself.
"You even dare to ask," Kitayama growled, now trying to clasp on Nikaido's collar instead but the other boy was faster. Quickly Nikaido stepped aside and hit Kitayama's face hard with his fist. So hard that the older one staggered back, crying out.
"Hey, you two behave there! Kawai wants both of you in one piece" someone shouted from upstairs but Kitayama wasn't really on the proper mood to take any kind of orders from Kawai's underlings.
"As if I care," he muttered and Nikaido gave a cold laughter.
"Of course you don't. You never care of anything, do you. Or anyone."
Nikaido was being so damn unfair that Kitayama felt his hands trembling. He was frustrated and annoyed, and the younger one had gone too far now.
"Can't you just relax and forget it all, and start acting like a twenty-year-old should?" he snapped, though he noticed immediately that he had said too much.
"Act like I should? Forget?" Nikaido hissed, "Iida's death was your fucking fault!"
The younger boy's words hit him so hard that for a moment Kitayama could do nothing but stare at him mutely, and Nikaido sniggered.
"Not so arrogant anymore, are you?"
"Kyohei," Kitayama said slowly, trying to keep his voice stable, "he went alone. You know -- knew him. He wouldn't have stopped even if I had told him. He wanted to go."
"Liar." Nikaido's eyes were black of anger, "he always respected even your smallest orders and you know it! He'd have stayed if you had told him to. You're just trying to escape from the responsibility like some spineless worm. Now do you still want to fight or will you let me sleep?"
Kitayama said nothing, so Nikaido sat back in his corner. As the older one returned to his bed, the boy's words kept resounding in his head.
Iida's death was your fault. He respected you. Yoy're trying to escape from the responsibility.
After a few minutes he heard from Nikaido's relaxed breath that he had fallen asleep. Usually Kitayama himself fell asleep fast, too. Normally. But not this night.
- - -
"Oi, Kyohei. What're you doing?" Kitayama asked.
"Shh, the kids are sleeping," Iida shushed and the older one raised his brows.
"Those 'kids' are fifteen. You never went to sleep before midnight when you were their age," he noted and Iida shrugged.
"Well I didn't have me as a sandman like they do, you know. Of course I wasn't able to go to sleep this early."
Kitayama laughed quietly and shook his head to Iida's words.
"You changed the topic," he reminded, "what're you doing at this time of night?"
Iida's face turned a bit more serious.
"I have something to do," he answered so evasively that Kitayama frowned.
"You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?"
"Of course not. I just have something that I've needed to sort out with someone for a good while. I'll be back soon."
"Where exactly are you going?" Kitayama demanded to know and after a moment Iida swayed his hand casually.
"Just somewhere. Probably under the grey bridge. Look, I really have to go now."
With those words Iida smiled and left, closing the door of the old construction site barrack quietly, trying not to awake the younger ones.
For some reason Kitayama felt uncomfortable. Maybe it was because there were only six of them home now that Iida had left and Fujigaya hadn't come back yet. There was nothing he could do, though, so he laid down on his mattress next to the younger boys, waiting for sleep to come.
He woke up when Fujigaya came in, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Phew, what a night. An honest juvenile delinquent can't even do his job properly," he stated and sat on the old chair next to the table, leaning his chin on his hand.
"What happened, then?" Kitayama asked and sat up, not feeling tired at all. He had worried too much to sleep properly anyway.
"Did you crash into some not-so-bad-guys who wanted to guide you on the right path?" Senga's sleepy voice asked from somewhere near his pillow.
Fujigaya shook his head and frowned.
"Unfortunately not. I'd have enjoyed making them realize I won't be so easily changed. There was a evil-looking fight out there. For what, I don't know - didn't want to get dragged in for no reason. A huge gang beating up some poor guy. I wouldn't want to be in his place right now…"
"A fight? Where?" Nikaido had also woken up.
"Between the two bridges, closer to the grey one," Fujigaya said, shrugging, and Kitayama made an alarmed voice in realization.
"The grey… Fuck. Kyohei!" he gasped, getting on his feet and stumbled to take his jacket.
"What the hell, Mitsu, what're you doing?" Fujigaya asked frowning, "You're not going to go there for fun are you?"
"Idiot, just get up and come - it's Kyohei they're beating up there!" Kitayama snapped before he run out to dark.
Kyohei you idiot. Why didn't you take someone with you? Anyone.
- - -
Kitayama hadn't noticed he had fallen asleep before he woke up to his own cry. For a long time he just lay on the bed, trying to catch his breath again.
He still remembered everything clearly.
- - -
The others soon followed him and they run together to the bridge where they found their friend. Iida's face was all bruised and bloody, and he stumbled badly with each step but still he kept fighting against the five men even though they were a lot taller than him. Without hesitating they all stormed to help him. And Kitayama could still see Iida's thankful smile in his mind as the boy realized he wasn't alone anymore.
Even though they managed to evict the enemies in the end, for them the night was the darkest ever.
All of them had bruises and black eyes, blood on their faces and their clothes tattered. Miyata piggy-packed Tamamori as Senga and Nikaido had to help Fujigaya who could hardly limp with the other foot. Yokoo and Kitayama carried an unconscious Iida back home.
He didn't wake up anymore - there was nothing the others could do. Before next morning Iida died in that crappy barrack they called their home.
- - -
Kitayama felt horrible. Luckily he hadn't woken Nikaido up - the boy was deeply asleep and couldn't hear Kitayama's quiet sobbing as tears flowed down his cheeks. He missed Iida. He missed him so much and hated himself for that one night years ago. Nikaido was right. Iida wouldn't have gone if Kitayama had told him to stay. If.
Yet Iida's death wasn't his fault, was it? They all had done everything they could to save their friend.
"Kyohei," Kitayama mumbled to the darkness, "don't be angry at me. Please don't be. I'm so sorry."
On the other side of the room Nikaido pressed his hand on his mouth to keep himself quiet. To hear Kitayama cry like that felt bad, and for the first time after leaving the group Nikaido wondered if he had done the right decision.
Had he blamed his friend in vain?
-
Next morning he was woken up by Totsuka's annoying shriek.
"Right you little street rats, wake up! It's time for a shower before your smell floats upstairs!"
Nikaido rubbed his eyes and sat up, stretching his aching muscles. Even though he was used to sleeping on the floor, it never felt nice anyway.
"Quickly, now. Get up, both of you." Totsuka ordered from the door, "And leave your clothes here. There's no dressing room. You go there, shower and get back again."
"What?" Nikaido asked, blinking as the man threw him a towel and went to kick Kitayama awake, "Together at the same time?"
"There're two showers and I don't have the whole day for this. Now GET UP." The last words were for Kitayama, who was still snoring faintly and Nikaido grinned a bit. Waking up had never been one of Kitayama's strong sides.
"Oh just be quiet, Taipi," the shortest man muttered and rolled over on his other side. Totsuka's face at that moment was worth seeing, Nikaido thought as he quickly undressed and wrapped the towel around himself before the other man would wake up.
-
Kitayama only felt properly awake when he stood under the shower. He sighed as he felt the warm water on his skin - their own shower in the construction site barrack was usually cold, especially during winter time. During summer the sun sometimes warmed the water in the old pipes but it was rather rare.
Nikaido's cough reminded Kitayama that he wasn't alone. He had tried to forget, really, since thinking about Nikaido at the moment made him imagine things that he had better not show to the younger one.
He had already noticed how tall Nikaido was nowadays. But he hadn't seen before how good-looking young man he had become. Just thinking about Nikaido's flat chest and muscular arms made Kitayama's cheeks burn slightly and even though he tried he couldn't stop himself from glancing a bit lower. He shouldn't have done it, he realized as new kinds of thoughts suddenly started running in his head.
Imaginative pictures of Nikaido lying on the bed of their room, looking at Kitayama with dark eyes, smirking and--
"How dirty do you think your head is?" Nikaido asked, raising his brows, and Kitayama startled. Had he said something out loud?
"Unless you're going to wash your hair a third time, I could take the shampoo," the younger one said and Kitayama threw the bottle to him, feeling a faint blush crawling on his face. It wasn't like him to just get lost in his thoughts like that.
"Yeah, I know I look good, but could you still stop staring - it's rather annoying."
Nikaido's chuckle made Kitayama turn his gaze away and feel even more embarrassed. Just how stupid was it possible for a person to be?
Nikaido bit his lower lip. He had always found Kitayama very attractive and he felt a bit abashed having caught the older man staring at him so openly. Yet it didn't feel uncomfortable. Nikaido was surprised as he realized he wouldn't have minded if Kitayama had wanted to watch him more.
- - - Part 2