Available and willing
Title: Available and willing
Pairing: Matsumura Hokuto/Morimoto Shintaro
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Friends with benefits, pwp.
Word count: ~4800
Summary: “I like you. I trust you. I care about you. I think you’re good-looking. I want you to feel good.” Shintaro shows him a full hand of raised fingers. “See? I have a whole lot of feelings about you. Romance and lust are nice, but they’re not requirements for good sex.”
A/N: It’s honestly just fun between two guys who genuinely like each other as friends.
- - -
"You like me, don't you?"
It comes so out of the blue, it’s hard to process at first. They’re sitting side by side at a dark, secluded beach, bottles of lemonade in their hands, and nothing they have been talking about until now has had anything to do with Shintaro’s question. The others are a bit further away, having gathered around a fireplace and apparently roasting marshmallows. All the cameras have been shut off, and the last staff members just left the beach, heading towards the lights of the hotel that shine from behind the sand dunes. It’s been a long day of shooting for videos and photos, and they finally have a moment of calm for just themselves.
Hokuto looks at Shintaro, who answers his gaze for a couple seconds before the both turn to look at the sea again. The sun already set a while ago, but a hint of dark pink and warm orange still gleams in the horizon, and it feels good to have his feet half-buried into the warm, soft sand.
"Why? Of course I do," Hokuto chuckles, hoping for Shintaro to elaborate.
“But not in the romantic way.”
It is a statement, not a question.
“No,” Hokuto confirms, even more curious. “You’re awesome and cool and hot, but I have absolutely zero romantic interest in you.”
A year ago this conversation would have been incredibly, unbearably awkward. Not anymore though. Not after Hokuto came out to the others and everyone only answered with acceptance and affection. (Especially Juri took a playful view on it, informing Hokuto that he had no problem at all if Hokuto wanted to visually appreciate him in the dressing room. Hokuto laughed and called him a menace, but he didn’t ignore the honesty in Juri’s words either. Juri was beautiful to look at.)
“Hot,” Shintaro repeats, looking pleased. “Nice, thanks! So, would you like to have sex with me?”
Hokuto’s eyes widen and he quickly glances towards the others. They are well outside earshot as long as he and Shintaro keep their voices low. He takes a sip of the lemonade, trying to figure out what’s going on. Shintaro waits calmly, nothing about him indicating any nervousness or vulnerability worth mentioning.
“I mean, nobody wants to date an idol with all the hassle and secrecy and that shit. And it’s even worse when you want to date guys, so. I’m not gonna date you, but if you wanna have some unproblematic, hassle-free sex, I’m available and willing. And no biggie if you don’t want to, just say no and I won’t be awkward about it.”
Shintaro has some excellent points there, but Hokuto is still confused.
“I never knew you fancied guys, too.”
Shintaro shrugs, a flirtatious smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“I haven’t bothered to put any labels on myself. But I like you too - not in the romantic way. And you’re awesome, cool, and hot too, so. Figured it could be fun.”
Hokuto takes another sip from his lemonade and thinks. It sounds weirdly sensible, actually. He feels safe and comfortable with Shintaro, and the unproblematic and hassle-free part is particularly tempting. They have private one-person rooms on this trip, too, which is a rare-enough occasion.
“Tonight?”
“If you want to,” Shintaro says easily, tilting his head. “I wouldn’t mind you visiting my room later.”
Shintaro moves his bare foot in the sand so that his toes lightly brush against Hokuto’s. An excited feeling lands somewhere at the bottom of his stomach, and he grins at Shintaro who answers with a similar smile.
“Yeah, okay,” he says. “I’ll come over once everyone is asleep.”
Shintaro empties his lemonade into his mouth and stands up, offering Hokuto a helping hand. He doesn’t need it, but he takes it anyway, allowing himself to be pulled up. Shintaro lets go of his hand right away, but the warmth of the touch lingers pleasantly on Hokuto’s palm when they walk over to join the others.
“Finally!” Jesse exclaims. He and Taiga make room for Hokuto in the circle, while Shintaro sits on the other side of the fire between Kochi and Juri.
“You both looked so solemn, we didn’t want to interrupt your heart-to-heart talk,” Kochi says, offering Shintaro a stick and a bag of marshmallows. Hokuto receives the same set from Taiga, and picks a few marshmallows to his stick. He roasts them quietly, letting everyone else take care of talking. The beach around them looks even darker now that they’re engulfed in the warm, flaming circle of light that makes shadows dance on everyone in it. Every now and then he meets Shintaro’s eyes across the fire, and he fully enjoys the light fluttering feeling that the looks awaken inside him.
When the fire has finally burned out, they pack up and drift back to the hotel. In the hallway everyone digs their pockets for the keys to their rooms. Hokuto rubs his eyes and yawns, resting his head on Juri’s shoulder.
“How will you survive the morning without me,” he murmurs drowsily. “Want me to come over and wake you up at seven?”
Juri laughs, but he doesn’t refuse the offer.
“I’m going to latch my door though,” he says so everyone can hear. “I really, really want to sleep tonight.”
“No pranks,“ Shintaro promises, “I’m way too tired.” Jesse smiles and shakes his head, too. He isn’t planning to be up at five, either.
“You better keep that promise,” Kochi says, smiling wryly. “Good night, everyone.”
They all withdraw into their rooms. Hokuto takes a shower, brushes his teeth, and changes into a t-shirt and sweatpants. He’s tired, but not nearly as sleepy as he let the others believe back in the hallway. He sits on his bed, squeezing his hair dry with a soft, white towel and unlocks his phone. It’s surprisingly hard to concentrate on reading anything, so he idly scrolls through his social media feeds and waits.
After about half an hour Shintaro sends him a message with just a thumbs-up emoji. Hokuto takes his phone and key, and noiselessly tiptoes through the hallway to Shintaro’s door. He doesn’t dare knock, lest anyone hear it. Instead, he answers Shintaro’s thumb with an emoji of a door.
Shintaro opens the door, and Hokuto swallows. Shintaro’s wet hair reveals he has taken a shower, too, but unlike Hokuto he hasn’t bothered with a shirt. He can’t help but look, and Shintaro doesn’t seem to mind at all.
“Come on in before someone catches you,” Shintaro chuckles and grabs Hokuto’s hand, pulling him across the threshold and locking the door after him. He leads Hokuto to sit on the edge of his bed and turns to rummage the mini-bar that stands on the small table under the television screen.
“Catch,” Shintaro says and throws him a can of his favorite brand of beer. Hokuto grabs the can in the air and raises his brows. The vending machines of the hotel definitely don’t sell it.
“You prepared these beforehand?” he asks incredulously as Shintaro settles cross-legged in the middle of the bed and snaps open another can - his own favorite brand. It’s rather touching, the way Shintaro pays attention to this kind of details about people important to him.
Shintaro raises his brows, looking amused and relaxed, and so freaking good that Hokuto kind of wants to get his hands on him right now. He can wait, though. There’s no hurry. He opens his own can and takes a long sip.
“Of course I did. I didn’t just suddenly realize tonight that I’d like to fuck you,” Shintaro says, and Hokuto almost chokes on his beer as all kinds images, each more explicit as the ones before, flash-flood into his mind.
“You little shit,” he snorts, and grabs Shintaro’s pillow, throwing it towards him. Shintaro laughs and dodges aside.
“Sorry, sorry,” he smirks. “Too straightforward?”
He wasn’t, not really, and Hokuto tells him so.
Shintaro nods, going back to looking calm and casual, like he has been from the beginning, and Hokuto wonders how he wants to proceed. Is Shintaro prepared to take the initiative? Should Hokuto do it himself? How, though? He brushes his thumb across the bright-colored letters on the side of his beer can, wiping off the cool drops of water condensed on the metal surface. With a pinch of discomfort he recognizes a small but persistent stream of self-consciousness starting to mix in with the warm, pleasant buzz of anticipation that started when Shintaro first asked him to come over.
“It’s just that-” he starts, smiling sheepishly. “I havent-”
“You haven’t had sex with a friend before,” Shintaro guesses, and Hokuto nods.
“I don’t know how this works,” he admits reluctantly. “I’ve only had sex with people I actually had feelings for.”
Shintaro tilts his head, looking at Hokuto thoughtfully.
“But you do have feelings for me, right? No, let me finish! I mean, I do.” He raises up fingers as he counts, “I like you. I trust you. I care about you. I think you’re good-looking. I want you to feel good.” Shintaro shows him a full hand of raised fingers. “See? I have a whole lot of feelings about you. Romance and lust are nice, but they’re not requirements for good sex.”
Hokuto can’t help a half-smile. “You sound like you’re repeating someone else’s words.”
“You learn all kinds of things from your senpai,” Shintaro says, winking. “Not gonna say who, though. Not just my secret to tell. And it’s been a long time anyway.”
Hokuto nods, thinking about it. Shintaro is right about the feelings thing, of course. But why is it still so difficult, suddenly? He already agreed to this out at the beach, and he hasn’t changed his mind.
“Hey, Hokuto,” Shintaro says, in an achingly low and gentle voice. “You wanna back out?”
“No,” Hokuto says quickly, frustrated at himself. “I want to do this. I just don’t know how to start. Whenever I’ve had sex before, things have just, you know, happened? Without much planning.”
Shintaro scoots over so they both sit at the edge of the bed, side by side, legs bumping into each other. He puts his free hand on Hokuto’s knee, rubbing his thumb back and forth in a soothing manner.
“Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it,” Shintaro challenges, looking into Hokuto’s eyes. “You know discussing sex doesn’t make it any less good. In fact, it’s probably going to be better.”
Hokuto looks back, and then it hits him. It’s really just Shintaro sitting there, every bit as bright, clever, brave, and caring as he always is. Unproblematic and hassle-free. Those, too, are purely Shintaro-like qualities, he realizes. They just need to start somewhere, and it’s going to be okay.
“Kiss me,” he breathes.
Smiling, Shintaro leans in to press their lips together.
Shintaro’s lips feel nice; soft and curious. Hokuto closes his eyes. It’s easy to follow Shintaro’s lead, copy the movements and inch closer. Shintaro moves his palm up and down Hokuto’s thigh but doesn’t go further yet, and Hokuto feels the squeezing, frustrating itch of worry quickly melting away.
When Shintaro pulls back, he smiles and takes the half-full beer can from Hokuto’s hand, reaching over to put the both cans to his nightstand.
“Again?” he asks, and lets out a surprised little sound when Hokuto, instead of answering with words, wraps his arm around Shintaro’s shoulders and pulls them together again, kissing him like he wants to; firmly and intensely. Shintaro is immediately along with the change of pace. He lifts his hand to cup Hokuto’s head, his fingertips running through Hokuto’s hair.
“As many times as you like,” Hokuto murmurs and smiles against Shintaro’s lips. He is eager to comply, humming happily when Hokuto runs his palms across his bare chest and arms. When Shintaro pulls back to breathe, he rests his forehead against Hokuto’s and twists his fingers into the hem of Hokuto’s shirt.
“May I take this off?”
Hokuto nods and obediently raises his hands so Shintaro can pull the t-shirt over his head and drop it to the mattress at the end of the bed.
“You’re beautiful,” Shintaro says, leaning close to drop light kisses on Hokuto’s cheeks, neck and shoulders. At the same time he presses his palm against Hokuto’s shoulder, pushing him down. The smooth sheets feel cool under Hokuto’s back for only a moment before they warm up.
“So are you,” he tries to chuckle, one hand on Shintaro’s bicep and one in his hair, but the words change into a whine in the middle, when Shintaro peppers his chest with kisses, the tip of his tongue quickly flickering across both his nipples as he passes past them. “Feels good,” he manages, before Shintaro climbs to sit on his thighs and lays a finger on his lips.
“Shh, shut up and relax,” Shintaro whispers. Staring into his eyes, Hokuto quickly catches the fingertip between his lips. Shintaro laughs, but it’s breathy and aroused, and turns into a moan when Hokuto twists his tongue around the finger before slowly allowing it to slide out and looking at Shintaro through half-closed eyes.
“Alright, I’m relaxed,” he says, wriggling into a more comfortable position and surrendering himself to bask under Shintaro’s attention.
It’s surprisingly easy to let go of everything, and just feel how Shintaro’s hands wander across his body from head to waist, his lips slowly following the same route. He takes long, deep breaths and finally closes his eyes, enjoying the comfortable warmth of Shintaro’s touches.
When Shintaro surprises him with a small bite on his side, he jumps and gasps, eyes flying open.
“That okay?”
“Yeah,” Hokuto stammers and shivers when Shintaro bites him again, this time near the middle of his belly. It’s such a delicious sting of pain, even though it isn’t enough to leave a mark that would stay until the next morning. Shintaro’s kisses turn slower the lower he trails, and he stops at the waistband of Hokuto’s sweatpants.
“Tell me to stop if I do anything you don’t like, and I will,” he says in a low voice.
“Same,” Hokuto says and is rewarded with another small bite just above his hipbone. He moans aloud, and Shintaro rushes back up to cover his mouth with his own.
“Not so loud,” he murmurs into the kiss, hovering above Hokuto on his hands and knees. “Don’t want to awaken anyone, do we?”
“I know, I know,” Hokuto chuckles, regretting nothing. “Let’s see how quiet you can be,” he says and presses his palm against the front of Shintaro’s pajama pants, where he is visibly hard already.
To his credit, Shintaro can be quiet. His eyes flutter shut and he hangs his head, only letting low sighs escape his throat when Hokuto moves his hand, feeling his shape and learning by try and error what kind of touches make him shiver the best. Shintaro lets himself sink lower until he is almost lying on Hokuto, his elbows and knees barely holding his weight anymore.
“Good, huh?” Hokuto asks, and Shintaro nods. He wriggles his fingers under the waistband of Shintaro’s pajama pants, and waits for an affirmative nod before reaching lower and wrapping his fingers around Shintaro’s cock.
“Fuck,” Shintaro whispers under his breath. He tries to kiss Hokuto again, but Hokuto squeezes harder, and Shintaro drops his head to Hokuto’s shoulder. His fast, shaky puffs of breath tickle Hokuto’s ear and he loves it, loves being able to make Shintaro sound like that. It encourages him to continue touching, moving, teasing, until one of Shintaro’s noises has a hint of discomfort in it. He stops moving, pulling his head back so he can catch Shintaro’s eyes.
“Too much friction?”
“Wait a second,” Shintaro says and reluctantly drags himself up.
“Did you prepare for that, too,” Hokuto asks, impressed but not really surprised by now. “I’ve got nothing. Didn’t think I’d need anything.”
Shintaro, crouched by his sports bag, glances at him with his brows up. “Huh, you never jerk off in hotel rooms?”
“I room with Juri about ninety-nine nights out of a hundred.”
“Yes, and..?”
Hokuto throws a blank look at Shintaro. Shintaro stares back equally blankly.
“You… jerk off with Jesse sleeping in the same room?”
“You don’t jerk off with Juri sleeping in the same room?”
Hokuto can’t help his mouth dropping open as he tries to make sense of what he’s just heard.
“We agreed on that like eight years ago or so,” Shintaro says, throwing a bottle of lube and an unopened packet of condoms on the bed next to Hokuto. “As long as we don’t disturb each other’s sleep, it’s fine if we want to take care of our needs.”
“And if Jesse happens to wake up when you’re doing that, then..?”
“He’ll just ignore me, like I ignore him if the same happens. It’s like using the bathroom; just a neutral thing that happens, no need to mention it.”
“You realize that’s not what most people think, don’t you?” Hokuto demands. Shintaro purses his lips and climbs back to the bed, lying next to Hokuto.
“I guess not,” he admits, but his eyes twinkle playfully. “I guess Jesse and I just got lucky with the roommate assignments!”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“And you like it.”
Hokuto grins. Yeah, he does. He loves his ridiculous, easy-going, silly... friends. How long did he need to admit it to himself - that he considers these guys his friends? It took him the longest time of all of them to let down his guards and trust the others. To trust them, himself included. That they will survive. That they can do this. He always knew - even when he didn’t want to admit it yet - that he needs these guys. And these days he finally believes that they, too, need him just as much.
“Where are you?” Shintaro asks quietly. He has turned to his side, elbow on the mattress and head resting on his palm. He looks at Hokuto softly, like he isn’t weirded out by his sudden silence. Then again, he never is. None of the others are. They never leave him out of the fun, even during his gloomier days when he barely says two unprompted words.
“I love you guys,” Hokuto blurts out. Shintaro bursts out in laughter, surprised and bright, and lifts his free hand to brush through Hokuto’s hair, thumb caressing his cheek.
“You really can’t do this sex thing without getting feelings, can you?” he cackles, and Hokuto shoves him with his hands, although he’s laughing, too.
“Shut up,” he complains, but it’s muffled by Shintaro’s lips when he leans in to kiss him again.
“It’s not a bad thing,” Shintaro says between kisses, grabbing a one-handed hold of Hokuto’s both wrists and locking them in place above his head. “I really like that about you. Keep your arms up there,” he orders, sliding his other hand down Hokuto’s body, to fiddle with the waistband of his sweatpants again. “It’s easy to see you like us. It feels nice. May I take these off?”
“Do you always talk this much while having sex?” Hokuto snorts and lifts his hips up so Shintaro can tug both his sweatpants and boxers at once.
“Does it bother you?”
Whatever Hokuto was going to say is forgotten when Shintaro takes him into his mouth and- fuck it’s good. He almost reaches down to grab Shintaro’s shoulder to hold on to something, but Shintaro hums a nuh-uh, and he remembers to keep his hands up, twisting his fingers into the sheets. For a moment he can’t think about anything but Shintaro and his mouth, and how the hell is he so good at this?
“You don’t have to be completely silent, either,” Shintaro murmurs before continuing again, and Hokuto lets out a breathy moan that he’s been holding in. He squeezes his eyes shut, letting Shintaro do whatever he wishes and losing himself into the feeling. Shintaro’s mouth and hands on him, the dim light of Shintaro’s night lamp, the low hum of the air conditioner, the soothing rumble of the waves out at the beach, it all blurs into one big bubble of pleasure around him.
When Shintaro next pulls back, Hokuto reaches down to cup his cheek in his hand.
“When you said you wanted to fuck me,” he says quietly, “did you mean it?”
Shintaro rubs his cheek against Hokuto’s hand, his evening stubble prickling Hokuto’s palm. “If you want me to.”
Hokuto laughs, amazed with how simple it all is now that they’re at it. Shintaro kisses his palm, smiling so sincerely, it makes Hokuto’s chest ache with affection.
“Yeah, I want you to.”
Shintaro doesn’t waste time. He is gentle and efficient with his fingers, and puts the bottle of lube in good use. Hokuto can’t stop an exhilarated giggle, because even the fact that there is any lube is so unbelievably hot. To imagine Shintaro planning this whole thing, buying the beers and packing the lube and condoms back in Tokyo, just in case he might get a chance to ask, and Hokuto might say yes. He must have been pretty sure that Hokuto would say yes, too, which makes it even more thrilling, somehow.
“Hmm?” Shintaro asks, dropping several small kisses on the insides of Hokuto’s thighs. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he gasps, “Just. Thinking.”
“You think too much,” Shintaro announces, moving his fingers in a way that makes Hokuto pant and wriggle in the sheets.
“I’m gonna cum if you do that again,” Hokuto warns, and Shintaro chuckles.
“Can’t have that yet. You ready?”
Hokuto nods quickly, and Shintaro searches for the condoms that have been buried between the wrinkles of the duvet. At first Hokuto just watches him, then he changes his mind and grabs Shintaro’s wrist.
“Let me?” he asks, and Shintaro doesn’t hesitate to hand him the packet and lean back so Hokuto has more room. He rolls the condom on and adds a good dose of lube, too, moving his hand on Shintaro’s shaft until Shintaro groans and pats his arm away, eyes so dark with want, it causes a wonderful falling feeling of pleasure and anticipation in Hokuto’s stomach.
“How do you want it,” he asks, and Hokuto stops to consider the options. He already knows what he wants but he wonders if Shintaro finds it disturbing. He’ll have to sleep in the bed when they’re done, after all.
Ask for the things you want, he hears in his head. It’s Jesse’s voice, the advice as useful as ever. Thanks, mate.
“Say no if you’d rather do something else, but,” Hokuto starts, and then beckons towards the head end of the bed. “Can you sit up and lean against the headboard?”
“Sure,” Shintaro agrees, apparently having no problem with the thought of the head end of his bed possibly getting stained. He stands up to pull off his pajama pants before sitting at the head of the bed. There, he tugs a pillow behind his back and reaches up with open arms, waiting for Hokuto. Hokuto walks to him on his knees, throwing his other leg across Shintaro’s. Shintaro lays his hands on Hokuto’s sides, running them up and down his skin.
“Anything I need to know? Any preferences?” he asks, looking up at Hokuto.
“Slow, deep,” Hokuto says, shrugging. “Think about the most disgustingly sweet and intimate things you can imagine, and you’ve got it.”
Shintaro grins at him. “Alright. I can do that.”
He most definitely can, that much is obvious from the second Hokuto sinks down on him, enjoying the smooth slide and incredibly satisfying fullness that immediately follows. Shintaro moves slowly, gently, letting his hands wander all around Hokuto’s body and obediently tilting his head back when Hokuto tugs on his hair and leans down to kiss him deeply. It’s so fucking perfect Hokuto wants to laugh, but his breath catches in his throat when Shintaro bucks up just right, and for once he forgets to think about anything at all.
When Shintaro’s breaths turn more strained, Hokuto tries to help him by carrying more of his weight on his own legs, but Shintaro pulls him back down.
“Too far away,” he gasps, wraps his arms tightly around Hokuto’s waist and pulls him down, pressing his face against Hokuto’s chest. Following the example, Hokuto wraps his own arms around Shintaro’s shoulders and buries his own nose into Shintaro’s hair. It smells faintly of his shampoo, but he can also feel Shintaro’s own familiar scent underneath it.
“Feels so good,” he whispers, “You’re amazing. So good.” He goes on with such mindless murmur, until Shintaro groans and snaps his hips up several times before he shakily comes. Hokuto follows his movements, arching his back and pressing down, trying to make it even better for Shintaro before he falls limp against the headboard of the bed.
While Shintaro tries to catch his breath, Hokuto kisses the top of his head, his temple, his forehead and eyelids, and finally his mouth. Shintaro answers to the kiss lazily at first, then more determinedly. When their mouths separate, Shintaro cups Hokuto’s head with one hand, keeping their foreheads together. Staring into Hokuto’s eyes, he wraps his other hand around Hokuto’s cock which is already leaking with precum. The strong, confident movement of Shintaro’s hand feels wonderful, and Hokuto has to fight to keep his eyes open. He loves the intensity he sees in Shintaro’s eyes - it’s basically the same look Shintaro always has whenever something has his full attention, but now there is an extra layer of intimacy added, and that alone is almost enough to make him cum.
“Come on,” Shintaro says, his voice just a husky growl as he strokes Hokuto’s cock like he fucked him earlier; firm and thorough, and so goddamn earnest, like he always does things that matter. “Come on, Hokuto. I wanna see you lose it.”
That’s enough to push him across the line. He shakes himself out with a low, broken wail, only barely remembering to keep the volume down.
They stay that way long after, arms around each other, listening to their slowly calming breaths and heartbeats. Hokuto rests his cheek on Shintaro’s forehead, Shintaro has his nose buried into Hokuto’s neck.
“Why haven’t we done this earlier,” Hokuto finally murmurs languidly. Shintaro shakes with laughter under him.
“Better late and so on,” he says. “Wanna have another go sometime?”
“Anytime,” Hokuto says, grinning and tightening the hug once more before letting go. He crawls backwards on his knees and flops down on his stomach next to Shintaro, sated and drowsy. Shintaro tangles the fingers of his clean hand into Hokuto’s hair and slowly massages his scalp.
“What time is it?” Hokuto asks after having dozed off for a moment.
Shintaro turns to squint at the small screen of the in-built digital clock next to the night lamp.
“Half past one.”
Stretching his limbs, Hokuto groans and turns to his back. The morning is going to be torture. And he promised to awaken Juri, too. Maybe he can sleep in the van on the way back home? He usually doesn’t, but. Maybe he can blame the long day so the others don’t find it too strange. He forces himself to stand up and searches for his clothes.
Shintaro, too, gets on his feet to clean up in a comfortable silence. When Hokuto is ready to leave, dressed up and the room key and the phone in his hand, Shintaro follows him to the door.
“I take it you’re satisfied with the evening?”
“It was fun. Thanks for asking me,” Hokuto says, smiling softly at first, but Shintaro looks so pleased with himself, it’s impossible to not laugh at him. “Can I have a good-night’s kiss?”
Shintaro grabs him by the hips and kisses him so deeply and warmly, he still feels it when he steps back into his own dark room. Sure, he had planned to sleep early, but he doesn’t mind. Every second of the alternative option was worth it.
- - -