Jaina Buys Lunch
Series: Paradisa
Characters: Jaina, Alleyne, Alleria, Arthas, Sanji, Chuck, Uru, Rhyme, Meowth
Rating: Brain-numbingly stupid
Length: 698
Warnings: Just incredibly silly
Summary: Picnic shenanigans
Once upon a not-particularly enchanted Wednesday afternoon, the Lady Proudmoore tracked down a certain skimpily dressed elf in the library, flashing her magic wallet at her. In Jaina's other hand was a rope leash connected to Arthas, who found himself being dragged angrily behind her.
“I see you are in possession of currency, Jaina.” said Alleyne, looking up from a book with a bored look on her face, but what else was new?
“Come now, you're a hero to us all! I'm treating you to lunch!” Jaina grinned. “I hear the town has a wide variety of things to choose from! And I won't take no for an answer. Come on, grumpypants, we're going.”
“Does he have to come?” Alleyne pointed at Arthas, making a mental note to grade him badly later. “He misbehaved, he doesn't deserve lunch.”
“Nonsense, he's my pally-wally still! He needs to be shown love, it makes him squirm cutely.” said Jaina as flowers appeared around her, complete with lens flare. “Besides, Alleria is coming along, maybe you two can bond over making fun of how he hasn't showered in a while. He's a smelly boy.”
“Okay, fine. Whatever. Let's get going.” Alleyne and Jaina popped onto a tricycle, dragging Arthas behind them and making sure to go down all the stairs extra fast to teach him a lesson. The lesson being stairs hurt when you get driven down them at full speed.
They stopped in the Lobby and saw Alleria there critiquing the décor. “Why does it have to be so round? I wanted pointy! This needs to be more pointy, goshdarnit.” Alleyne blushed like a young virginal schoolgirl as she heard this. “Oh...Oh Alleria, I'll make it pointy for you!” Jaina just smiled at the two, Alleria being carried like a bride by Alleyne onto the tricycle. Out the door they all went, heading towards town. Jaina beeped the horn a lot; it made her giggle. Birds chirped in time to the beeps, serenading them as they rode into town, a dust trail behind them.
Sanji was there, running a booth full of cupcakes and other sugary nonsense. Jaina drove up and said “I'll take three to go please!” flashing her magical wallet again. “This is stupid. And full of sucrose. I didn't ask for diabetes, Jaina.” scowled Alleyne. “Stop being so tsuntsun, Alleyne. Maybe it will sweeten your smile!” squeaked the mage. Alleria sighed, her ears flopped down and droopy. Arthas growled and scoffed. “Yeah, being around Jaina is enough diabetes as is! Even I feel bad for her now.” “Oh hush, pally-wally!”
“Wow, you girls are beautiful! You get it all for free! In fact, I'll pay you to take the cupcakes! Except the ugly guy, he has to pay up.” said Sanji, practically nosebleeding. “I got an idea!” said Alleria.
Soon, Arthas found himself on the tricycle, connected to a Hummer filled with the girls and their sugary treats, having to pull it along to their next stop. “This is stupid!” he whined. “Oh, can it, you overgrown brute.” said Alleyne as she threw a cupcake wrapper at his head. They pulled up to The Pie Hole, where Uru and Rhyme were on break, being really adorable as they taste-tested Chuck's new pie recipes. “I'll take four lunches to go, please! Or rather, three, one kid's meal for Arthas!” Jaina flashed her wallet again. Alleria's ears perked up, her and Alleyne snickering in tandem.
Arthas howled in pain. “Oh, you are too cruel, woman! I renounce my evil ways!” Chuck gladly loaded them up with more sugar, Uru and Rhyme getting them some coffees, waving them off as they went to a nearby bit of farmland. Alleyne spread her cape out and put Alleria down, Jaina making Arthas serve them on a picnic. Meowth came by and sang to them, earning himself a free lunch for doing so. What a stand-up guy. Alleria just squinted at the talking cat; not like her day could get any weirder.
They lived happily ever after. Except Arthas. He got a cavity.
Characters: Jaina, Alleyne, Alleria, Arthas, Sanji, Chuck, Uru, Rhyme, Meowth
Rating: Brain-numbingly stupid
Length: 698
Warnings: Just incredibly silly
Summary: Picnic shenanigans
Once upon a not-particularly enchanted Wednesday afternoon, the Lady Proudmoore tracked down a certain skimpily dressed elf in the library, flashing her magic wallet at her. In Jaina's other hand was a rope leash connected to Arthas, who found himself being dragged angrily behind her.
“I see you are in possession of currency, Jaina.” said Alleyne, looking up from a book with a bored look on her face, but what else was new?
“Come now, you're a hero to us all! I'm treating you to lunch!” Jaina grinned. “I hear the town has a wide variety of things to choose from! And I won't take no for an answer. Come on, grumpypants, we're going.”
“Does he have to come?” Alleyne pointed at Arthas, making a mental note to grade him badly later. “He misbehaved, he doesn't deserve lunch.”
“Nonsense, he's my pally-wally still! He needs to be shown love, it makes him squirm cutely.” said Jaina as flowers appeared around her, complete with lens flare. “Besides, Alleria is coming along, maybe you two can bond over making fun of how he hasn't showered in a while. He's a smelly boy.”
“Okay, fine. Whatever. Let's get going.” Alleyne and Jaina popped onto a tricycle, dragging Arthas behind them and making sure to go down all the stairs extra fast to teach him a lesson. The lesson being stairs hurt when you get driven down them at full speed.
They stopped in the Lobby and saw Alleria there critiquing the décor. “Why does it have to be so round? I wanted pointy! This needs to be more pointy, goshdarnit.” Alleyne blushed like a young virginal schoolgirl as she heard this. “Oh...Oh Alleria, I'll make it pointy for you!” Jaina just smiled at the two, Alleria being carried like a bride by Alleyne onto the tricycle. Out the door they all went, heading towards town. Jaina beeped the horn a lot; it made her giggle. Birds chirped in time to the beeps, serenading them as they rode into town, a dust trail behind them.
Sanji was there, running a booth full of cupcakes and other sugary nonsense. Jaina drove up and said “I'll take three to go please!” flashing her magical wallet again. “This is stupid. And full of sucrose. I didn't ask for diabetes, Jaina.” scowled Alleyne. “Stop being so tsuntsun, Alleyne. Maybe it will sweeten your smile!” squeaked the mage. Alleria sighed, her ears flopped down and droopy. Arthas growled and scoffed. “Yeah, being around Jaina is enough diabetes as is! Even I feel bad for her now.” “Oh hush, pally-wally!”
“Wow, you girls are beautiful! You get it all for free! In fact, I'll pay you to take the cupcakes! Except the ugly guy, he has to pay up.” said Sanji, practically nosebleeding. “I got an idea!” said Alleria.
Soon, Arthas found himself on the tricycle, connected to a Hummer filled with the girls and their sugary treats, having to pull it along to their next stop. “This is stupid!” he whined. “Oh, can it, you overgrown brute.” said Alleyne as she threw a cupcake wrapper at his head. They pulled up to The Pie Hole, where Uru and Rhyme were on break, being really adorable as they taste-tested Chuck's new pie recipes. “I'll take four lunches to go, please! Or rather, three, one kid's meal for Arthas!” Jaina flashed her wallet again. Alleria's ears perked up, her and Alleyne snickering in tandem.
Arthas howled in pain. “Oh, you are too cruel, woman! I renounce my evil ways!” Chuck gladly loaded them up with more sugar, Uru and Rhyme getting them some coffees, waving them off as they went to a nearby bit of farmland. Alleyne spread her cape out and put Alleria down, Jaina making Arthas serve them on a picnic. Meowth came by and sang to them, earning himself a free lunch for doing so. What a stand-up guy. Alleria just squinted at the talking cat; not like her day could get any weirder.
They lived happily ever after. Except Arthas. He got a cavity.