not bad, could use a few alterations. i like the combination of morose depression coupled with humour (which we all know too well these days). it reads less like a poem and more like a manifesto at certain points. a call to arms for hilarity in the bleak face of end times. that being said, i'd personally edit certain parts as being more morbid and sad and play on those parts or lines with corresponding ones with more humour (you pun lover, you). but you know what you're good at and you know what to do.
Comments 2
...but I still have a fear of not having any money at all.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment