I bought an ept tonight. I don't know when or if I will take it, but it is there. Mocking me. lol I am such a dork! Dork! Dork! Dork ( Read more... )

at least not when you are ttc. I have no clue what is going on, but I will have to have a darn good reason to buy another ept. I am not hopeful of a positive outcome ( Read more... )

BFN. But no AF, so I must not have ovulated when I thought I did. So, still, I wait. Someone on a board I frequent announced she was pg this week. I have not yet congratulated her. I really need to. She is a really nice girl. I really want to. But, I have to confess, I am so jealous ( Read more... )

Infertility is tear-your-heart-out painful, and secondary infertility is almost as painful. Before I had Thomas, I didn't really understand how hard secondary IF is on women. I thought "At least they have a baby, my arms are empty". Ahhh, now I understand the desire, the ache for another baby. Even though my arms are filled with a wiggling, ( Read more... )

I was reading over at LL and realized that some of the ladies that started ttc after we did now have infants that are several months old.  Why can't it ever be easy?  Why did we even bother?  Damn this sucks!

Tonight, I noticed Thomas had some dark circles under his eyes.  My first thought.... leukemia!  I know it is nuts, but I had a dream when Thomas was just an infant that he was diagnosed with leukemia and it HAUNTS me.  It scares the crap out of me!  I am terrified of losing him.  It would destroy me.

Five more days before I start my last round of Clomid.  *sigh*  It makes me sad and relieved at the same time.  Sad to think that I may not get to have a second child.  Relieved to be off the roller-coaster of TTC.  I don't know what ever made me think that getting pregnant again might be easy.... we were married fifteen years before being blessed ( Read more... )

Another cycle is a bust.  To be honest, it makes me sadder than I had imagined it would.  Knowing that we are only trying one more time.  *sigh*  It is so hard to give up on your hopes and dreams. 

Well, I have been trying to lose weight, but it seemed like the scale didn't want to budge!!! Disgusting! But this morning when I stepped on the scale, I had lost seven pounds! I am so excited and best of all, I am feeling hopeful again.

I have been thinking alot today about a post on one of the cloth diapering boards I frequent. The poster was verbally attacked by a woman for giving her child formula. This mama was already upset that she had been unsuccessful at breast feeding. She broke down in tears during the attack. What bothers me more than the mean wench that berated her ( Read more... )