Straight to your broken heart.
Maybe this is what happened when I wanted to
Show everyone how much I love to write pretty stories
Made up of what I am compelled to say...
YOU’RE SO DELIGHTFUL.
SUCH A CHARM.
AREN’T YOU?
ISN’T THAT WHAT EVERYONE SAYS?
They tell me, too.
I remember when I used to say it.
Oh, I’d say it.
And mean it, too.
How unconscious was I?
You worked your way in,
But also your way out.
No, you didn’t work your way out.
I pushed you.
No.
I pushed myself.
Out.
Far, far, far out.
Don’t cry now.
Don’t.
It’s way too late.
For you apology.
For your regret.
You want something one day,
And the next,
You’d never have realized it had left.
YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL.
And to the people who think you are,
Well,
They don’t know you.
You haven’t worked your way into them yet.
But just wait.
It’s like a war.
One day you’re ready to fight.
And the next, you’re so weak.
Fragile, untouchable.
You’ve got fear in your eyes.
Fear for us to see,
To tell us, Stay away.
But also fear because YOU’RE SCARED.
Don’t admit it,
Oh please,
Don’t admit it.
Just bathe in the thought that I KNOW.
WE KNOW.
US.
The ones you used to know.
We know you’re scared.
You know that we know.
It’s way past hiding time.
You can’t cave in and conceal yourself now.
In too deep?
I’d say you’re up too high.
Jump?
No, don’t do that.
Work things out?
Use your voice?
No, not that either.
Curl yourself up,
Further away.
Yes, there’s the solution.
No one can see you up here,
So you might as well sit quietly.
Expect the worst.
You love,
But you hate so much more.
You don’t like where you’re going.
I see it, and it almost makes me laugh.
ALMOST.
I laugh because you’re getting all you wanted,
But also all that you never thought would come.
Don’t give up now,
YOU’RE ALMOST THERE.
Shut up brain. Shut up mouth.
No.
Don’t stop.
This needs to be said.
The one-sided fight needs to be had.
The taste of tobacco still lingering in my throat makes me sick,
And reminds me of how I felt when
I KNEW I HAD TO STOP WHAT WE STARTED.
This isn’t me crying.
This isn’t me regretting,
This isn’t me apologizing.
This isn’t me remembering.
This isn’t me using words to try and make you understand,
To make you come back.
Or feel bad, even.
Nope, it’s none of those things.
This is me,
Giving you in all respects what you rightfully deserve.
This isn’t revenge.
I’m calm.
I’m good.
I’m cool.
But it’s those things,
That I’m trying to stop you from feeling.
Calm, good, cool.
I LOVE YOU,
In such a way,
That I don’t want to hurt you
By showing you all of this,
But I feel it’s the least I could do.
Maybe I’m exaggerating.
My skin is burning with cold.
Just for you. <3
p.s. I hope everything was worth it.
There. Those words are everything you have made me say, feel, do, and think.
We’re better now.
But those words.
Those are the words
Your eyes kept me from saying.
I was so uneasy about posting this,
Because it could cause reactions that I may not particularly like.
But what I can say now, is
That this is not changing how anything is now.
In a way, it’s not serious.
It’s a story.
Words tied together to sound pretty.
BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
Based.
Meaning:
5% truth.
5% what I really feel.
And 90% lies.
Or at least figments of my imagination.
[THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.]
Show everyone how much I love to write pretty stories
Made up of what I am compelled to say...
YOU’RE SO DELIGHTFUL.
SUCH A CHARM.
AREN’T YOU?
ISN’T THAT WHAT EVERYONE SAYS?
They tell me, too.
I remember when I used to say it.
Oh, I’d say it.
And mean it, too.
How unconscious was I?
You worked your way in,
But also your way out.
No, you didn’t work your way out.
I pushed you.
No.
I pushed myself.
Out.
Far, far, far out.
Don’t cry now.
Don’t.
It’s way too late.
For you apology.
For your regret.
You want something one day,
And the next,
You’d never have realized it had left.
YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL.
And to the people who think you are,
Well,
They don’t know you.
You haven’t worked your way into them yet.
But just wait.
It’s like a war.
One day you’re ready to fight.
And the next, you’re so weak.
Fragile, untouchable.
You’ve got fear in your eyes.
Fear for us to see,
To tell us, Stay away.
But also fear because YOU’RE SCARED.
Don’t admit it,
Oh please,
Don’t admit it.
Just bathe in the thought that I KNOW.
WE KNOW.
US.
The ones you used to know.
We know you’re scared.
You know that we know.
It’s way past hiding time.
You can’t cave in and conceal yourself now.
In too deep?
I’d say you’re up too high.
Jump?
No, don’t do that.
Work things out?
Use your voice?
No, not that either.
Curl yourself up,
Further away.
Yes, there’s the solution.
No one can see you up here,
So you might as well sit quietly.
Expect the worst.
You love,
But you hate so much more.
You don’t like where you’re going.
I see it, and it almost makes me laugh.
ALMOST.
I laugh because you’re getting all you wanted,
But also all that you never thought would come.
Don’t give up now,
YOU’RE ALMOST THERE.
Shut up brain. Shut up mouth.
No.
Don’t stop.
This needs to be said.
The one-sided fight needs to be had.
The taste of tobacco still lingering in my throat makes me sick,
And reminds me of how I felt when
I KNEW I HAD TO STOP WHAT WE STARTED.
This isn’t me crying.
This isn’t me regretting,
This isn’t me apologizing.
This isn’t me remembering.
This isn’t me using words to try and make you understand,
To make you come back.
Or feel bad, even.
Nope, it’s none of those things.
This is me,
Giving you in all respects what you rightfully deserve.
This isn’t revenge.
I’m calm.
I’m good.
I’m cool.
But it’s those things,
That I’m trying to stop you from feeling.
Calm, good, cool.
I LOVE YOU,
In such a way,
That I don’t want to hurt you
By showing you all of this,
But I feel it’s the least I could do.
Maybe I’m exaggerating.
My skin is burning with cold.
Just for you. <3
p.s. I hope everything was worth it.
There. Those words are everything you have made me say, feel, do, and think.
We’re better now.
But those words.
Those are the words
Your eyes kept me from saying.
I was so uneasy about posting this,
Because it could cause reactions that I may not particularly like.
But what I can say now, is
That this is not changing how anything is now.
In a way, it’s not serious.
It’s a story.
Words tied together to sound pretty.
BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
Based.
Meaning:
5% truth.
5% what I really feel.
And 90% lies.
Or at least figments of my imagination.
[THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.]