.01
I've gotten at least an hour away from the little people... 10-year-old neice, 5-year-old neice, 8-year-old boy (not related to me). I'm making the most of this.
ripped from my writer's notebook. Originally written on 8.1.04. Slightly edited.
Everything falls into place... everything has its specific spot to be, its own time, its own moment. There are a lot of things I wish I ahdn't done, but without them my life would be in a completely different place and taking a whole new directon. I'm not one of those people who doesn't believe in having regret/etc. because unless you have close to no guilty conscience you'll remember the bad things you've done [and feel something]. There are also a lot of things I wish I had done, but, once again, my life wouldn't be the way it is now if those things had happened. My whole life is pieces taken from my experiences (or lack of) and put together to form me. If I hadn't chosen to attend MHSA, I [wouldn't have been exposed to as many people who love the theatre as much as me]. If I hadn't still worn my hair pulled back in middle school, I wouldn't have gotten insulted and rediculed, making me [stronger to deal with it and] less of a bitch now. If I had gone to school that day back in the 5th grade I wouldn't have been put on costume crew and secretly developed a love for creating clothes. If I had gone to another school, I never would've met Jamie... never dated her... never kissed her... might not have realized who I am.
But don't think I'm not happy for the experiences I've had, I am, there's almost always something good about the "bad" experiences I've had... most of the bad things I learned from anyway. See? Bad thing--> Good thing. It's all gravy. :) Besides, without all the bad crap, who knows where (and how) I'd be? I've always wondered what would've happened if my soul/spirit (the breathing, thinking, being part of me... everything non-physical) hadn't been put in this body... would I be in a different body? An animal's? Not even in a body yet? That's what scares me about death, not knowing what happens to my soul. (EDIT: 8.8) But that's besides the point. Everything does have a certain way to work itself out, whether or not you know. I can't say how many times I've wanted to know how my life will pan out-- mostly because I just wanted to know if anything works in my favor. But that's just something you'll never know until the moment it happens, but that doesn't mean you can't still dream... even if those dreams never come true, it's still nice to think about it, hey?
I was watching an episode of "The Days", which kinda inspired me to write that. I just wrote the italicized half right now. My writing skills aren't the best, so I don't write poetry or prose (which is why I can't join ___papertrail, ellie). But I make the effort. Once again, thanks for having me :)
|A|s|h|e|
ripped from my writer's notebook. Originally written on 8.1.04. Slightly edited.
Everything falls into place... everything has its specific spot to be, its own time, its own moment. There are a lot of things I wish I ahdn't done, but without them my life would be in a completely different place and taking a whole new directon. I'm not one of those people who doesn't believe in having regret/etc. because unless you have close to no guilty conscience you'll remember the bad things you've done [and feel something]. There are also a lot of things I wish I had done, but, once again, my life wouldn't be the way it is now if those things had happened. My whole life is pieces taken from my experiences (or lack of) and put together to form me. If I hadn't chosen to attend MHSA, I [wouldn't have been exposed to as many people who love the theatre as much as me]. If I hadn't still worn my hair pulled back in middle school, I wouldn't have gotten insulted and rediculed, making me [stronger to deal with it and] less of a bitch now. If I had gone to school that day back in the 5th grade I wouldn't have been put on costume crew and secretly developed a love for creating clothes. If I had gone to another school, I never would've met Jamie... never dated her... never kissed her... might not have realized who I am.
But don't think I'm not happy for the experiences I've had, I am, there's almost always something good about the "bad" experiences I've had... most of the bad things I learned from anyway. See? Bad thing--> Good thing. It's all gravy. :) Besides, without all the bad crap, who knows where (and how) I'd be? I've always wondered what would've happened if my soul/spirit (the breathing, thinking, being part of me... everything non-physical) hadn't been put in this body... would I be in a different body? An animal's? Not even in a body yet? That's what scares me about death, not knowing what happens to my soul. (EDIT: 8.8) But that's besides the point. Everything does have a certain way to work itself out, whether or not you know. I can't say how many times I've wanted to know how my life will pan out-- mostly because I just wanted to know if anything works in my favor. But that's just something you'll never know until the moment it happens, but that doesn't mean you can't still dream... even if those dreams never come true, it's still nice to think about it, hey?
I was watching an episode of "The Days", which kinda inspired me to write that. I just wrote the italicized half right now. My writing skills aren't the best, so I don't write poetry or prose (which is why I can't join ___papertrail, ellie). But I make the effort. Once again, thanks for having me :)
|A|s|h|e|