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[toots1675]

so i just wrote this as one of my short answers for college. i know its lame to post about college, but get over it. give me feed back

Comments

[searchinsoul]

Very good gil! Here are a few comments from the english major haha.

"A bad day, a poor test score, a fight with a friend, all that disappears the moment I walk in."

you can't correctly put "all that" there so it could read either

1. A bad day, a poor test score, or a fight with a friend disappears the moment I walk in.

2. A bad day, a poor test score, or a fight with a friend all disappear the moment I walk in.

then for "All things that I feel I could have found in other places, but I didn’t." This is a sentence fragment. You could change it to say

1. These are all things that I feel I could have found in other places, but I didn't.

Otherwise it's fabulous darling! Can't wait to see you tomorrow!

[anonymous]

quietly takes over your life............. very true.

too lazy to log in.

devin

[anonymous]

"A bad day, a poor test score, a fight with a friend, all that disappears the moment I walk in."

A bad day, a poor test score, a fight with a friend -- all that disappears the moment I walk in.