Title: Because I Miss You So Much
Author:
torakissBeta: unbeta-ed, please forgive my errors.
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Drama (Romance perhaps? Not sure D:)
Length: One Shot
Rating: PG-13
~♥~
He was terribly missing him.
To the point that he would cry as he sings the songs that he made. The songs he made for him.
His manager praised him and Yoochun and Junsu for pulling off such a wonderful concert at Thailand. They received optimistic reviews from several critics and media. The fans who attended the concert said they had fun and they slept and went home with the same big, fat, satisfied smiles plastered on their faces after the concert. Other fans who weren’t able to attend saw the fan videos and ended up crying because of such awesome performances. Everybody was telling them they did a great job. But apart from this “everybody” there is one person whom he wished with all his heart had told him too that he did a splendid job.
It was 18:10 KST. He was alone in his apartment. It took him a few moments to realize that he was staring blankly at his white-painted ceiling. He realized, that he generated such thoughts for only ten seconds of looking up, to refresh his eyes from the computer monitor where he was watching fan videos in one tab and raping the refresh button in another to see if he has received a new mention from a particular someone. How fast those thoughts drifted from a crowd towards one person, he could only wonder.
Purr.
A not-so-peculiar noise stirred him from his realm of thoughts. Only then did he realize, he was not totally alone. Jiji is with him, comfortably sleeping on the couch underneath the fake but vividly bright cherry blossom tree. Apart from the little cat, he is the only human inside this big and lonely place. A disappointed sigh escaped his lips.
In an attempt to distract himself from feeling such loneliness, he decided to read his mentions on twitter. Almost a thousand tweets with his username on it. A thousand more tweets since the last batch he read an hour ago. Fans talking a lot of random things, in almost every language:
@mjjeje oppa looks so lonely. Marry me already!!! I’ll be your happiness!
@mjjeje I love you.
I had fun at the concert! Great job director @mjjeje. Looking forward to a beautiful TVXQ5 concert with you!
おはよう @mjjeje! ( ^▽^)
@mjjeje 오빠, 정말 보고싶어요! 화이팅!!!
Je veux être avec toi @mjjeje~ ♥
I’m hungry, @mjjeje. Feed me?
君を待っているよ @mjjeje @0101xiahtic @6002theMicky #yunho #changmin
I'm telling you @k1ch13, yunho and @mjjeje are real.
Waiting for the day that I’ll see Yunho and Changmin with @0101xiahtic @6002theMicky and @mjjeje perform on one stage again.
And the fun part is that @mjjeje has, believe it or not, has read a smut fic about him and Yunho. 8D
Kuya @mjjeje ang hot mo! Nababading na ko sayo, alam mo ba yun?
@mjjeje it's music bank time! Will you watch your Hobear again? Of course I know you will. ^^
Oh. Right. It's music bank time. U-know time.
He quickly took a snapshot of Jiji soundly sleeping on the black couch and uploaded it to his account.
In a few seconds, fans would crazily send him mentions, whether those tweets talk about how cute Jiji is or how beautiful the sakura hovering over Jiji is or how fans would love to live in his apartment, or how much perverted fans would love to have themselves raped on that black couch, he doesn’t care. The picture would be his proof. An evidence for his loved one to know that he was online, secretly watching him perform.
~♥~
“Great job, guys!” stylist noona complimented as she wiped his face with a towel and assisted him in changing clothes. Although it was not really that necessary for her to help him, Yunho figured that she’s just doing her job. The costumes themselves were comfortable and easy enough to take off, unlike the ones he and Changmin had during Keep Your Head Down and Maximum promotions.
Stylist noona scooted out of the dressing room carrying the outfits they wore while another stylist noona gave snacks and drinks to him and Changmin, the latter having three times the amount he had. He took out his iPhone from his bag. The first thing he checked was the twitter profile of a special someone.
Jaejoong-ah uploaded another photo of Jiji. Ah, it seems he’s alone right now… not to mention, obviously lonely.
“Ah. So Jaejoong-hyung is alone at his place right now.”
Yunho was startled by Changmin’s voice over his shoulder. The taller man was behind him, also looking at his iPhone. The younger man gave him a devilish smirk.
“Seems like an ‘invitation’ rather than a normal upload, don’t you think so hyung?”
“Shut up,” Yunho answered before slapping the maknae’s arm and moving further away so that Changmin can’t see his direct messages.
“Awesome performance today. You’re still as gorgeous as ever. I miss you so much baby. I know this is you. Please reply me soon.”
“And oh, don’t stress yourself too much, okay? Eat, and give some food to Changmin. I love you.”
“P.S. Don’t do anything to make me jealous. I’m dying to see you.”
Yunho couldn’t help but smile at the efforts his lover is making and the risks he is facing just to send such lovey-dovey messages to him. As to how Jaejoong knew of his twitter account, he is yet to discover the answer. Jaejoong… he’s been sending him text messages, e-mails, phone calls and even direct messages at twitter where the risk of their affair being exposed is higher… all just to let him, Jung Yunho, know that he loves him so much.
“You look like a dork with that smile plastered on your face, hyung,” Changmin stirred him from his Jaejoong-wonderland.
“Mind your own business, Changmin-ah,” he retorted at the maknae, while sending his special someone a mention. He can not reply to the direct message because Jaejoong is not following him, so he could only send him a mention. As to how Jaejoong keeps track of his tweets, he could only guess.
“How about you pay him a visit, hyung?”
“I was just thinking about that.”
~♥~
Jaejoong let the thousands of rain-like drops of water hit his face. The water was pricking his cheeks, half-tickling and half-hurting him. He opened his eyes and looked at the tens of small holes on the shower head. Something was bothering him, and he was thinking that perhaps these tiny holes would distract him from thinking too much of the big hole in his heart… one that is yearning to be filled by someone whom he presently misses so much.
He turned the knob, closing the shower, and wrapped his lower body with a towel while ruffling his wet hair with another piece. He turned to his left and looked at his figure on the misted mirror.
Even if people say you are gorgeous, you are currently so miserable. How long can you keep that smiling face to cover the pain you’re feeling within?
His eyes widened for a split-second as another thought grew in his mind. This thought was almost screaming in his head, the intensity was driving him nuts, like how much his brain is pounding hard on his cranium to the point that it’s almost hypothetically producing cracks.
Yunho-yah, how I wish you could see how I am right now. I miss you so much, Yunho-yah. I miss your scent overpowering my shampoo and my soap and my perfume. I miss your taste overpowering the minty flavor of my mouthwash. I miss your deep voice filling my room, and now it feels so empty being here all alone. I miss you, Yunho-yah. I miss your caress. I miss the smile you used to show when you look at me like it’s the only thing in the world that you reserved for me alone, like I’m the only one who matters in your life. I miss the love in your eyes every time you turn to me. I feel like a sunflower searching and facing at the sun, at you alone. I miss you, Yunho-yah… It hurts me how you could smile so effortlessly onstage when I, for one, know that it’s not of genuine happiness, but of a heartfelt pain. I want to wrap you in my arms, Yunho-yah. I miss you so much it hurts, Yunho-yah… Yunho-yah…
Tears were brimming on his eyes. You are such a miserable creature, Kim Jaejoong. He threw his hand towel over his head, just above his forehead enough to cover his eyes. With his eyes closed, he turned the knob and exited the bathroom. He closed the door gently and with a sigh, leaned his forehead against it.
Yunho-yah…
He did not expect a pair of strong, warm arms that suddenly circled his waist. His eyes widened in surprise. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. He can’t turn around because the person behind him was so sturdy. His wet, cold back became warm because of the presence of this person behind him. Jaejoong felt a kiss planted on the nape of his neck, and a deep breath inhaling his scent.
Jaejoong couldn’t believe what is happening. His emotions were presently twirled up like a raging tornado inside him. Whether he is happy, surprised, angry or so excited, he can not really tell. One thing he is sure though, what he is feeling at the moment, it felt good; like a heavy boulder on his shoulders being crumbled to fine sand.
“Do you know what I like the most? Clean Kim Jaejoong fresh from the showers,” the other man uttered as he nuzzled on Jaejoong’s neck. Tightening his embrace on the smaller male’s waist, he slowly inhaled the latter’s fresh fragrant scent.
As for Kim Jaejoong, his heart was almost breaking his chest with its crazy beating rate. His brain was sending electrical impulses to his nerves; his blood was rushing like a Ferrari through his every vein, his voice fighting to scream out the other person’s name, of how much he misses him, of his efforts in reaching out to him, of how hard he was trying to make the other feel that he still loves him despite what they are going through. However…
“Pabo. You insensitive moron,” was what he was able to voice out, contrary to what he originally wanted to say.
“Jung Yunho, you pabo!” he managed to shout louder than the previous sentence.
Yunho was surprised at Jaejoong’s reaction. He thought that Jaejoong would be very happy with his little surprise visit.
“Eh? Boojae is not happy that I’m here?” Yunho whispered as he moved his arms from Jaejoong’s waist to his chest and planted a kiss on the latter’s right ear.
“Jung Yunho, pabo! Baka!” cried Jaejoong.
“Would you rather I’d leave, Jaejoong-ah?” Yunho sadly asked, his tone almost hurt. He loosened his embrace on Jaejoong, but Jaejoong, upon sensing this, quickly grabbed his wrists to prevent the taller man from letting go.
Yunho leaned towards him and kissed Jaejoong’s hair. “Then tell me what you want, Jaejoong-ah. Why are you like this? Why do you keep on hurting yourself?”
“Jung Yunho, you pabo!” Jaejoong repeated, a tear flowed down his cheek and landed on Yunho’s forearm, cooling that region of his warm skin. “How dare you enter my apartment without even ringing the doorbell or even answering to my phone calls or text messages! How dare you grab me from behind when I’m covered with nothing but a towel! How dare you be so seductive when I’m crying like this! You are such an insensitive moron! You’re a pabo!”
Jaejoong raised his hand to wipe the tears in his eyes. Yunho, however, seized his hand and let out a soft laugh. “My Boojae is so cute. I didn’t know you miss me this much.”
“And how dare you… laugh… like… that when I’m… crying!” Jaejoong exerted much effort into saying this sentence while fighting the sobs in between.
“Let those tears flow, Jaejoong-ah. I’m already here. It’s alright. You don’t have to cry it all alone again tonight. Let them flow, my love.”
“I miss you, Yunho-yah. My pabo Jung Yunho-yah.”
“I’m a fool for you, Jaejoong-ah. I miss you more, my masochistic Jaejoongie.”
Minutes have passed and both men stayed like that, hugging each other like it’s the perfect place in the world where they rightfully belong.
~♥~
A/N: I lack a plot :(( I actually wrote this last April 27 but as for every fanfic I wrote I always lack the confidence to post them at any online site that I'm in. T__T
There is actually another ending for this fic but I figured not putting it in because I think it would only ruin the lovey-dovey mood of the story. And besides, it was my first attempt in smut and I suck at writing so I better leave it out of the picture.
Comments, dear readers? T___T