"Hikari" UTADA'Hikaru Makes the pain worse...
Translation
『光 （ひかり）』 歌田ひかる
どんな時だって
ただ一人で
運命忘れて
生きてきたのに
突然の光の中、目が覚める
真夜中に
静かに出口に立って
暗闇に光を撃て
今時約束なんて不安にさせるだけかな
願いを口にしたいだけさ
家族にも紹介するよ
きっとうまくいくよ
どんな時だって
ずっと二人で
どんな時だって
側にいるから
君という光が私を見つける
真夜中に
うるさい通りに入って
運命の仮面をとれ
先読みのし過ぎなんて意味の無いことは止めて
今日はおいしい物を食べようよ
未来はずっと先だよ
僕にも分からない
完成させないで
もっと良くして
ワンシーンずつ撮って
いけばいいから
君という光が私のシナリオ
映し出す
もっと話そうよ
目前の明日のことも
テレビ消して
私のことだけを見ていてよ
どんなに良くったって
信じきれないね
そんな時だって
側にいるから
君という光が私を見つける
真夜中に
もっと話そうよ
目前の明日のことも
テレビ消して
私のことだけを見ていてよ
I just want to fucking cry right now.
I feel like I have been abandoned by the ones that I though were my 'friends' in real life. I live in the middle of fucking Fayette County... My nearest friends are possibly 10 minutes away, but I don't see them any.
My closest friends other than that are in Memphis... which is 30 fucking minutes away. I don't ever get to go anywhere. If I'm not at school or work, I'm at home. If I'm not at school or home, I'm at work. If I'm not at home or school, then I'm at work. Get the idea? I hope so. I don't get to go ANYWHERE. I feel like a caged in tiger, trying his damnedest to get out and explore the outside. I rarely get to go to Memphis due to my parents own lazyness. I know, I need to get a license, but I don't even have a fucking car, nor insurance. I'm not all you brats who just get a car from their parents. My mom can't afford to get me a car, not after we just got our brandnew house. I'm already trying to save up for a trip for next year to visit my friend Lori in Seattle. To me, that's a LOT more important at the moment.
I can't just call up my friends and go "Hey! What's up? Wanna go somewhere?" like everyone else. I have classmates at school... I'm not 'friends' with them... none of them have my number, nor even asked for it. I never get invited to any get-togethers (like I would want to anyway, it's nothing but booze parties.) and I get very lonely and bored out of my fucking mind at work and at home and at school. I need to get out of this place every now and then.
Jeff something to me once bout "Oakland is like 30 minutes from my house..." did I ask him to come out to Oakland and give me a ride? No, I don't think I exactly did. I'm just sick and tired of being stuck in this house and nto able to do anything.
PS2s, Final Fantasy, computers, internet, DDR at home... it all gets boring really fast. I don't have any drawing materials to do any drawings... I just hate it all...
Even though I'm online everyday... It feels like even my online friends aren't even friends anymore... it's like they are drifting away...
So now what? I guess it will be better just to drift away to what I'm listening to now... since noone can help me with my problems.