Lip-Service and lack of spark

[torgolomue]

Some of you already know that my inner spark is pretty much out right now for SCA related activities. I have been trudging through focusing on real life and work and letting the SCA take a back seat. I haven't really been able to put my finger on the exact reason until now. It has been a lot of little things that are finally adding up. The SCA to

Comments

[weavedancer]

Hi. I've been told flat-out that I don't win enough. Thanks for all the command you do, and teaching, and service, but come back when you are a winner.

And so, I thought I would give it a try. I trained for months and spent part of every day building the mentality that I needed to win on the field. In the end, I didn't win, but I semi-finaled.

It was okay. I'm still not certain what the big deal is. However, I now feel that knowing what it takes and being capable of victory is more important than the win itself.

I guess it wouldn't get me so down if [certain rapier fighters] weren't trying to win in ways that broke the oath they took just prior to the tournament. Clean victories, and all the hard work that goes into them, are an inspiration all of their own, and they absolutely have their place.

[torgolomue]

Prowess versus winning, right there. Knowing you trained hard and pushed yourself to be better is part of Prowess to me. Having to prove it to others on the field is Vanity.

[weavedancer]

Thanks for clarifying!

Inspiration is a constantly changing thing. Good thing too, since I did not succeed in growing up and being Captain Kangaroo.

[torgolomue]

I hear he died in a gangland shootout while trying to buy crack. Just saying...

Inspiration should change, continue giving us something new to strive for.

[american_knight]

I train for prowess. Not winning. Winning is a byproduct. Though, I think people perceive that it is winning I want. They are wrong. I always have, and always will, seek prowess.

Sadly, I think what everyone is getting from the essay (I have seen it posted so many times now) is that winning is bad even if it IS just a byproduct. So therefore, prowess is bad.

So if prowess is bad? What are we going for?

Sigh

[syele]

I agree with those sentiments. People cloud victory with statements of 'I just wanted to achieve the ultimate in my sport', but really? They are pushing and pushing to WIN. Rewarding VICTORY in their households/groups, not honor, courtesy and grace. It was neat to see, in the gatebook for the upcoming GWW in regards to a Pas that one of the Caidan contingents is putting on, that the pas is 'being contested solely for honor and renown, rather than for the base spirit of victory.' It IS all about honor. And I think, in your heart of hearts, you know how to bring that fire back and exactly what sorts of things you don't need to listen to anymore. Trade in those old, sad used viewpoints for shiny new ones that are closer to your heart.

[raventhourne]

On the lines of Perrin's things...prowess, or more for me doing my best keeps me going.

I'm training more, though not enough IMHO, and I'm seeing the progress, I'm seeing that things are changing..I'm doing my best which is way more than it used to be. That is what I strive for..doing my best.

Hugs and all of that. What I admire about you most isn't your fighting prowess (you are an evil lefty, ) but your heart and your compassion. I was truly delighted when we came out for syele's investiture and you treated us all with respect and courtesy and you've always done that for us ladies even for those of us who know/have known you pretty well. Its noticed, keep it up and don't worry we all have to get back into getting our sparks now and then.

[torgolomue]

Thank you and hugs back.