11 drabbles
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: GenmaxRaidou
Rating: PG
Warnings: shonen-ai, death
Moments in time, snippets of life.
A/N: Eleven drabbles of what what were supposed to be thirteen in total. In the end I never managed to finish the missing two and I am proabably not going to do so in the future.
#1 blind
Sometimes, he is running blind.
Just closes his eyes and goes with it. It doesn’t matter what.
Sometimes he has to, because otherwise he wouldn’t have the courage…to ask someone out, to go with his feelings, to just let things flow. Without seizing control of every angle and aspect.
And then he is running blind again.
Because all of a sudden he is afraid of what he is going to find when he does open his eyes.
Afraid that this - whatever it is they share, friendship, love…maybe both - is nothing but a dream when he really looks.
So he just keeps them closed, his eyes with their odd, golden-yellow color, and lets Raidou lead him. Strong, stubborn, reliable Raidou, who is just as inexperienced and insecure and clueless as he is in things concerning love.
They are ninja. They bring death, not love.
Talking about blind leading the blind.
But this is Raidou and Raidou will always be the one thing Genma has blind faith in.
#2 you and me
“You and me…” Raidou says suddenly, his eyes becoming unfocused and his thoughts clearly in a different place.
Not in the small, sterile hospital room, smelling of antiseptic and illness and death. Not crammed into one of the flimsy hospital chairs that have made a great deal of their hours, spent waiting, miserable. Probably even a great part of their whole life.
His hand holding Genma’s is the only thing that keeps him there. Keeps him from drifting to far. That and his general devotion to the other man.
“You and me…” he says, “…we live together and we die together, right?”
And he gives the man lying in the hospital-bed a smile that doesn’t really reach his eyes.
“Wrong.” Genma answers, “You live and I die” and gives Raidou’s hand a reassuring squeeze. But his eyes are knowing and his smile a final one.
#3 old sayings
“True love will conquer all”
When Genma was a child, he always loved that one saying.
“True love will conquer all.” Not because he understood what it meant, but rather because he liked the way it sounded.
How the vowels of the words slipped out of his mother’s mouth every time she would tell this bit of old women’s wisdom the her child. ( Not that she was old)
And because she would say it with such conviction, just to him.
Today, Genma still has the same, favourite saying that he treasures.
Today, it’s not the sound of the lines, and his mother is long dead, buried somewhere far away. A name on a stone.
But today, he understands the meaning of the words.
“True love will conquer all.”
He realizes only in a moment of desperation, how naïve he has been, because true love can’t conquer death and it can’t conquer Raidou, either. Raidou, who is well on his way to death.
Frickin’ idiot!
But there is nothing he can do, he is told, so he searches for a chair and holds his lover’s hand. And repeats the words that are so familiar to him. Words that give him comfort.
“True love will conquer all. True love will conquer all. True love will conquer all…”
Until his voice runs out…
#4 forgetfulness
When the two of them are together, Genma can just forget about time.
And not just about time, but about anything else as well. He doesn’t really notice the sun shining down on them, nor the small clearing in the midst of the forest. Surrounded by lightly colored birch trees.
He doesn’t hear the sounds of the bordering woods.
All of this he can forget.
But Raidou, he can’t forget Raidou.
Has to focus on his face, on the blood he is coughing up.
And suddenly, Raidou isn’t breathing.
And time moves again, rushing in. With an enemy’s sword describing an arc, blade glistening in the sun, before coming down.
Painting the soft, humid ground red.
#5 running away
The first mission both of them ran together after they started dating, would always remain a memorable one. Not for the fact that it was exciting, or the possibility of them having awesome and hot mission sex…although that last bit of information might have something to do with it.
It was true that Genma had eventually managed to convince Raidou to try it out - though he had to use some rather unorthodox methods - but then their third man…eh…women (read Anko) had kind of walked in on them.
The resulting squeak was probably still audible in Konoha. And how the incoming enemy ninja managed to preserve their hearing will remain a mystery to Genma forever, really.
Fact is, they came and they attacked and they outnumbered them. And Genma, Raidou and Anko hadn’t even done anything mission-wise…yet.
They managed to survive this encounter relatively unharmed. Fast and nimble feet are a ninja’s best friend after all. Angry team-mates, or rather team-mate, however…that’s a different story.
But three months were cutting it, at least in Genma’s humble opinion. Not that his and Raidou’s relationship was anything but great…this one thing, however…
So now, Genma just had to tell that to Raidou. If he agreed, all would be well with the world. And if he was still pissed, well, out of the two of them, Genma had always been the faster one when it came to running.
#6 Home
There are some missions that you return from buzzing with tense energy, Chakra still pulsing with aggression.
It doesn’t happen all the time, but sometimes your brain hasn’t caught up with the rest of your body yet.
That was why Genma, after one such mission, went rigid when Raidou pulled him into a hug. Eyes narrowing, hands tightening on the other man’s arms. And for a fleeting moment he had to quench the urge to fight against the embrace.
Then Raidou started rubbing gentle circles into his back, whispering words of comfort and calm. And only then did Genma remember. Random words that connected him with the here and now. Banishing the last remnants of a too long mission.
‘Safe’, was what came to mind. ‘Safe.Warm.’ And then ‘Home.’
And with this realization he closed his eyes, resting his head in the crook of Raidou’s shoulder. Letting the older man take care of him.
Because Raidou was home to him, no matter where.
#7 sunrises
Inside their small cosy apartment, only the gentle rustle of fabric could be heard.
And if one followed the trail of carelessly strewn clothes lying on the floor, a pair of casual jeans, a simple shirt - no mission this time, just a free evening for both of them - it would lead them towards the bedroom.
Inside, Genma is pressed up close against Raidou, head resting on the other man’s broad chest. Sated, smitten, tired, while Raidou traces abstract patterns on the bare skin of his back.
Both of them just short of falling asleep. No words passing between them.
Outside, the sun rises. Painting the horizon in pastry tones, starting a new circle, ignorant of the blissfully resting.
#8 undone
They had known each other for years.
Still every now and then something Genma did caught him funny. It wasn’t something big, but rather the small gestures. A reassuring touch after a mission, an arm slung nonchalantly around his shoulder in their spare time.
No matter what, it never ceased to create a flutter throughout Raidou’s stomach. Making his head dizzy with wondering.
But then there where times, when the strange feeling of butterflies was replaced by a sudden lurch of protest. Times when his friend was contently nestled in the arms of another.
It took Raidou years, still, to figure out what his body wanted to tell him though. And even then he refused to admit, even to himself, that he was in fact jealous of Genma’s flings.
It was the aftermath of a mission, however, that undid him.
Because he was alive and Genma was alive…and not dead. Not run through by a Katana.
Blade sweeping down, cutting through Genma’s right shoulder and down to his hip. Bright red, hot blood spraying.
Genma went down.
Raidou screamed.
And as sudden as the illusion had started, it ended. And the first thing Raidou saw from his position, kneeling on the ground, was Genma. Hands still in the seal that broke the nightmare, blood running down his temple. Eyes still wide with the after-effects of the Genjutsu he had just disabled.
For a moment, their eyes met - communicating without words.
In the next, Raidou was on his feet. Crushing Genma in a tight embrace. Letting out a sound that sounded too much like a sob even to his own ears.
#9 follow me
They are pressed into one of the dark corners of the castle.
Genma some spaces ahead of him. Raidou watches him from his place further down the corridor.
They are waiting for something - anything - to happen.
Remain where they are a little longer, well hidden in the shadows, but no enemy ninja appear.
Finally Genma motions with his eyes, then his hands.
Long, elegant fingers forming words, silently.
‘Follow me.’
And Raidou obliges.
#10 make believe
If Genma tries hard enough, he can convince himself of the fact that he isn’t worried sick every time Raidou has to go on a mission alone.
And if Raidou is honest with himself, he admits that it is his greatest fear that, someday, Genma might not be lucky enough to make it back from a mission.
It is only when they are together, bundled up in a mountain of blankets, save in the confines of home and each others arms, when they forget about these horrors.
Shattering the comfortable quiet with laughter and talk and plans for a great future. A future without wars and fights and bloodshed. Without dieing.
After all, this is their wonderful world of make believe.
#11 songs
Neither Raidou nor Genma can really sing.
Especially when it comes to carrying a tune. But on some occasions that doesn’t really matter.
Like when you are spectacularly drunk. Surrounded by friends that are even more drunk. Because in these situations you don’t really know what you are doing anyway and nobody is going to actually remember specifics later on.
Or like when you are at a funeral. Together with people who are close to you simply by the fact that they are mourning the same person as you do. Crying over the same person you are crying over.
And nobody is offended when your voice catches on the syllables of the words. Throat rough with tears.
This time it is neither of the two of them. This time they got lucky.
Next time, they might not.
But until then, they stand side by side, singing a song to remind a fallen comrade by.