If I were a Vampire

Mar 19, 2006 15:27

If I were a vampire, here are some things I would do:

Make more omelettes. You never see vampires eating omelettes.

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torts_schmorts March 20 2006, 05:42:22 UTC
"Lord Dracula, I truly must say
your hair looks quite flamingly gay,"
"Of Dracs, I'm the count,
hot bitches I mount,
and say 'nay' to gay rolls in the hay."

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torts_schmorts March 20 2006, 06:41:45 UTC
There once was a vampire whore,
who laid young men by the score.
Gave them the clap,
then sprung her trap
in a feeding frenzy of gore.

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the_boehmer March 27 2006, 19:00:03 UTC
There once was a vamp so fickle
That he oft wound up in a pickle
For his search was quite narrow
He sought ethnic marrow
In hopes of a meal that would sickle

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Bravo torts_schmorts March 27 2006, 19:58:40 UTC
I am thoroughly impressed. They say one good turn deserves another. So in honor of your rhyming skills:

M.C. Vlad could lay masterful traps,
darkly enchanting vampiric raps.
When in his prime
He'd bust quite the rhyme,
Though 'twas blood, but not ass that he'd tap

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Re: Bravo the_boehmer March 27 2006, 20:25:33 UTC
I really like this thread...yea, vampire limericks! We all should totally ditch grad school and become full time poets. So...apropos to my current station in life...

These days of bloodborne disease
Have brought Alucard to his knees
For his prey is a nidus
To get hepatitis
Which nary a vampire does please

Okay...I'm done. Excellent work y'all

PS: I love ellipses

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Re: Bravo torts_schmorts March 27 2006, 20:47:38 UTC
Lost Poets, perhaps?

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