(no subject)
summary thing of this year =) ohh, and comment if you do it too, because it's interesting to see what people think.
ohh, and by the way, i was thinking of making my journal friends only....what do you think?
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Listen to myself and do/wear what I wanted to. I think I started to care less and more at the same time about how I looked. like, ill look at myself now and all i can do is look and say what I hate, but at the same time I spend so long doing make up/hair/deciding what to wear that its fucking ridiculous *rolls eyes*
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Well, seeing as how last years resolution was to kill myself and I’m still typing, no, I didn't keep my resolution lol.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yeah, everyone had kids :\ my cousin and my aunt and my other aunt and a friend and...Yeah, a lot of people
4. Did anyone close to you die?
my uncle died
5. What countries did you visit?
i didn't. i just....stayed here lol
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
I’m actually really looking foreword to 2005. 2004 was such a bittersweet year to me in a lot of ways. Most of it was so painful, but in the last few months things have really been looking up. My friends started to take notice of me and we all grew up and started doing things. I started don’t things we wanted to do, and now we do them together. I met a lot of people this year too, some i now see as true friends and some I wish I hadn't at all. I think 2005 will be a good year.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The 8th of august. Not only was it my birthday, but it was also probably one of the crappy days of the year. Nobody was here/wanted to do anything. I knew I wasn't exactly priority before that, but it kind of hurt. This year I’m doing something interesting with the people I love. Birthdays are supposed to be spent celebrating life, but (prepare for stereotypical answer) I spent it wishing my life never happened.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I stopped trying to be what I thought I wanted to be and started being myself.
9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure? I’m not sure. The year was a big fuzz of crap so I don't remember anything in particular. a few good moments shine through though, so that’s good. I think that in a way, being a failure as a friend was a crappy thing. I just wish I realised that at the time that they were pushing me away because I was kind of making them. I think its all looking up now.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I seemed to spend quite a bit of time pretending to be ill because i didn't want to face school, but I did get the usual stuff, throat infections and the sort.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My notebook that I will never show anyone other then me. it helped me through stuff better then anyone could have ^__^
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Juli realised some stuff she needed to *claps*
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
my own.
14. Where did most of your money go?
on things I didn't want or total crap or clothes that I will never wear.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Leeds festival. I wish I had someone to go with. My friends are missing out on so much.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Lostprophets - last summer/burn burn. Afi - the great disappointment. The distillers - drain the blood. The Smiths - pretty girls make graves. The cure - just like heaven/a forest/ most other stuff (to be honest, their music was what I mostly listened to this year
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Much much happier ^__^
ii. Thinner or fatter? People say much thinner but I say fatter
iii. Richer or poorer? Richer I think. But I’m going present shopping in Leeds so ill soon be much poorer lol
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
going to gigs. Because music means more to me then a lot of things.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Stressing and hating myself because it makes people sad
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas day outright with my family and Chris (I think...we need to sort that out by the way)
21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
No I didn't.
22. What was your favourite TV program?
Six feet under or shameless ^__^
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't really hate anyone...I’m kind of angry at a couple of people that wronged me, and my opinions of some people have changed a lot. Sometimes you think you know someone, but you really don't at all.
24. What was the best book you read?
either the vampire Armand by Anne rice or Marilyn Manson’s autobiography. It made me see him differently.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2003?
Probably the smiths. I never understood Morrissey when I saw him; all I knew was that I liked him. I wish I hadn't have insulted him randomly. Haha.
26. What did you want and get?
Umm...I don’t know. Oh, to go to Leeds festival. Again, shame I was on my own most of it because I lost Lawrence, but I still loved it. I know that the bands weren't ones I like all that much (other then placebo. I fucking love placebo) but I still had a great time. I found some bands that I quite like now.
27. What did you want and not get?
that dress i wanted and to get thinner.
28. What was your favourite film of this year?
Made in this year? I don't think I had a favourite one made in this year. the grudge was the only on I liked all that much that was made this year. I watched velvet goldmine a lot this year however, so I guess that.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
All ill say about my birthday is that I didn't like it one bit.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a new carpet :| Haha, that would have been nice. I hate the one I have now. Oh, and you know what would have been nice? More tickets for festivals (like download) and other small gigs.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
i guess i changed quite a lot. I went from looking like I would have quite liked to be a goth to being my own person was the main thing, but I got interested in a lot more clothing styles like EGL and stuff.
32. What kept you sane?
Nothing. that’s why I went a little bit....yeah, anyway.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Davey Havok, Amy lee, Brian Molko, Gwen Stefani and Joey Jordison
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The American elections of course *rolls eyes*
35. Who did you miss?
I missed my friends. It feels like I didn't see them or they weren't there even though i know they didn't cease to exist. Like I said, a lot of this year was a blur of self-hatred and pain.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Ummmm, well Chris is nice. And I met ant this year and he's nice too. Leanne is lovely (even though I haven't let her yet) and meeting Jason was fun ^__^
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
I learned that even though you feel like some people are hurting you constantly and that they hate you and don't want you there, sometimes they come back to you. Sometimes the people that keep you from doing something stupid are people you will never meet, and sometimes when people go away from you and come back, you get to know them better then you ever thought possible and love them more then anything.
Also, you have to go through hard things to find who you really are. You just have to keep going to work out who you want to be seen as. You have to know the people around you to know yourself.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I’m gonna C+P the bits that I feel sum up the year.
It doesn't hurt me.
You want to feel how it feels?
You want to know that it doesn't hurt me?
You want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You
You and me.
You don't want to hurt me
But see how deep the bullet lies
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder
There is thunder in our hearts, baby
Is there so much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You,
You and me.
You and me won't be unhappy.
I just think it sums up how I’ was trying to ignore all these voices in my head telling me that I’m worth nothing by trying to be the best friend possible and there for them whenever they needed me, but they didn't want me there. God, I was so fucking stupid.
ohh, and by the way, i was thinking of making my journal friends only....what do you think?
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Listen to myself and do/wear what I wanted to. I think I started to care less and more at the same time about how I looked. like, ill look at myself now and all i can do is look and say what I hate, but at the same time I spend so long doing make up/hair/deciding what to wear that its fucking ridiculous *rolls eyes*
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Well, seeing as how last years resolution was to kill myself and I’m still typing, no, I didn't keep my resolution lol.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yeah, everyone had kids :\ my cousin and my aunt and my other aunt and a friend and...Yeah, a lot of people
4. Did anyone close to you die?
my uncle died
5. What countries did you visit?
i didn't. i just....stayed here lol
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
I’m actually really looking foreword to 2005. 2004 was such a bittersweet year to me in a lot of ways. Most of it was so painful, but in the last few months things have really been looking up. My friends started to take notice of me and we all grew up and started doing things. I started don’t things we wanted to do, and now we do them together. I met a lot of people this year too, some i now see as true friends and some I wish I hadn't at all. I think 2005 will be a good year.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The 8th of august. Not only was it my birthday, but it was also probably one of the crappy days of the year. Nobody was here/wanted to do anything. I knew I wasn't exactly priority before that, but it kind of hurt. This year I’m doing something interesting with the people I love. Birthdays are supposed to be spent celebrating life, but (prepare for stereotypical answer) I spent it wishing my life never happened.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I stopped trying to be what I thought I wanted to be and started being myself.
9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure? I’m not sure. The year was a big fuzz of crap so I don't remember anything in particular. a few good moments shine through though, so that’s good. I think that in a way, being a failure as a friend was a crappy thing. I just wish I realised that at the time that they were pushing me away because I was kind of making them. I think its all looking up now.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I seemed to spend quite a bit of time pretending to be ill because i didn't want to face school, but I did get the usual stuff, throat infections and the sort.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My notebook that I will never show anyone other then me. it helped me through stuff better then anyone could have ^__^
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Juli realised some stuff she needed to *claps*
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
my own.
14. Where did most of your money go?
on things I didn't want or total crap or clothes that I will never wear.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Leeds festival. I wish I had someone to go with. My friends are missing out on so much.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Lostprophets - last summer/burn burn. Afi - the great disappointment. The distillers - drain the blood. The Smiths - pretty girls make graves. The cure - just like heaven/a forest/ most other stuff (to be honest, their music was what I mostly listened to this year
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Much much happier ^__^
ii. Thinner or fatter? People say much thinner but I say fatter
iii. Richer or poorer? Richer I think. But I’m going present shopping in Leeds so ill soon be much poorer lol
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
going to gigs. Because music means more to me then a lot of things.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Stressing and hating myself because it makes people sad
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas day outright with my family and Chris (I think...we need to sort that out by the way)
21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
No I didn't.
22. What was your favourite TV program?
Six feet under or shameless ^__^
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't really hate anyone...I’m kind of angry at a couple of people that wronged me, and my opinions of some people have changed a lot. Sometimes you think you know someone, but you really don't at all.
24. What was the best book you read?
either the vampire Armand by Anne rice or Marilyn Manson’s autobiography. It made me see him differently.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2003?
Probably the smiths. I never understood Morrissey when I saw him; all I knew was that I liked him. I wish I hadn't have insulted him randomly. Haha.
26. What did you want and get?
Umm...I don’t know. Oh, to go to Leeds festival. Again, shame I was on my own most of it because I lost Lawrence, but I still loved it. I know that the bands weren't ones I like all that much (other then placebo. I fucking love placebo) but I still had a great time. I found some bands that I quite like now.
27. What did you want and not get?
that dress i wanted and to get thinner.
28. What was your favourite film of this year?
Made in this year? I don't think I had a favourite one made in this year. the grudge was the only on I liked all that much that was made this year. I watched velvet goldmine a lot this year however, so I guess that.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
All ill say about my birthday is that I didn't like it one bit.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a new carpet :| Haha, that would have been nice. I hate the one I have now. Oh, and you know what would have been nice? More tickets for festivals (like download) and other small gigs.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
i guess i changed quite a lot. I went from looking like I would have quite liked to be a goth to being my own person was the main thing, but I got interested in a lot more clothing styles like EGL and stuff.
32. What kept you sane?
Nothing. that’s why I went a little bit....yeah, anyway.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Davey Havok, Amy lee, Brian Molko, Gwen Stefani and Joey Jordison
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The American elections of course *rolls eyes*
35. Who did you miss?
I missed my friends. It feels like I didn't see them or they weren't there even though i know they didn't cease to exist. Like I said, a lot of this year was a blur of self-hatred and pain.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Ummmm, well Chris is nice. And I met ant this year and he's nice too. Leanne is lovely (even though I haven't let her yet) and meeting Jason was fun ^__^
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
I learned that even though you feel like some people are hurting you constantly and that they hate you and don't want you there, sometimes they come back to you. Sometimes the people that keep you from doing something stupid are people you will never meet, and sometimes when people go away from you and come back, you get to know them better then you ever thought possible and love them more then anything.
Also, you have to go through hard things to find who you really are. You just have to keep going to work out who you want to be seen as. You have to know the people around you to know yourself.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I’m gonna C+P the bits that I feel sum up the year.
It doesn't hurt me.
You want to feel how it feels?
You want to know that it doesn't hurt me?
You want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You
You and me.
You don't want to hurt me
But see how deep the bullet lies
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder
There is thunder in our hearts, baby
Is there so much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You,
You and me.
You and me won't be unhappy.
I just think it sums up how I’ was trying to ignore all these voices in my head telling me that I’m worth nothing by trying to be the best friend possible and there for them whenever they needed me, but they didn't want me there. God, I was so fucking stupid.