(no subject)
1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(But..., that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
2. On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how. . . ?)
3. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's "just" a suggestion)
4. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Oops, too late!)
5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(Hmm . . . .)
6. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)
7. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those
forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope)
9. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to underwater?)
10. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
11. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts."
(NEWS FLASH)
12. On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)
13. On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? . . . Good grief!)
14. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:
"Do not use on food."
(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK, honey, just grab the Palmolive!