i dont even know anymore

[totallyfuckedxx]

just more of my boring craziesi know i have issues. I know im fucked up. im surprised i have any friends at all. i mean. i kno that i should be in a psychiatric facility. i know i should be locked in a padded room. im paranoid most of the time. i can hardly control my cutting anymore.i have more issues that only 2 of my close friends really know about. a billion more that nobody but me know about. i dont understand why anyone even bothers to be my friend anymore. i feel horrible for always worrying my friends when i have episodes. i pretty much stopped confiding in anyone anymore. only really kaylee and kelsey know anything anymore. and ashleigh kinda. but not even really. not one of hem really know. i hate confiding in people b.c i feel like im just putting my shit on them. i hate making my friends worry about me. i just hate this. i love helping people with thier issues, its the only thing that really keeps me going, knowing that my friends need me to help them with some insignificant little issues. im probably deluding myself in thinking that they need me when they probably dont and probably wish id stop giving advice and trying to help.

well i just re-read that post and realized that if people didnt think i was crazy before, they do now
fuckit...just fuckit