jag vet inte

[totalyflummoxed]

i think i'm a little bit muted, for lack of a better word. obviously, i don't know how to say a whole lot, especially how to explain how i'm feeling emotionally and what i want. i don't know what i want; that's the hard part. i feel like i'm not doing enough here. not exploring enough, not adventuring, and that makes me kind of sad. at home i had

Comments

[ohnoitsbekah]

pretty much we are one and the same, i'm kind of like "okay when am i going to start having fun?" i'm a pretty crappy exchange student i think, at least this far, i should probably break a few more d's and ditch school or something to get the ball rolling. i think poland is perfect for me but i am not perfect for poland, i don't even know if that makes sense? but it's completely true regardless.

[totalyflummoxed]

i'm glad you at least know how i feel. i kind of need that. i wish i could talk to you on the phone. i just wrote "whish" instead of "wish."

ja... it's not that i'm never having fun, but on a scale of 1 to 10, i'd say the fun level is only at about a 5 or 6 right now. i don't know how to make friends outside of my class!

hahaha, becky breaking d's and ditching school... just don't start smoking. yuck.

my host sister-in-law was disappointed with dora and i when we were at her house for dinner because we didn't want beer OR wine... haha.

i feel like a kind of crappy exchange student, sometimes, or at least really mediocre. i just don't know vad jag ska gör.

[ohnoitsbekah]

well i only had one drink, it wasn't really fun though because i was with rotarians, hahaha...i was like "is this a rotary morality test?" but they didn't understand so i was like fuck it...i haven't ditched school yet because i have no one to do it with...but seriously my fun level is low, not to say i'd be having more fun in cambria, but this almost seems like more of a punishment than a reward for all of the work i've done. i love it here, but i am uncomfortable and bored more than i'd like to be.

[ohnoitsbekah]

i know that feeling. you have me beat though, i haven't drank anything (unless you count cider with an alcohol content of 2% that fourteen-year-olds are allowed to drink) and i definitely haven't ditched school... though i don't have any reason to because i hardly have school most days (uh, three hours) anyway. if you ever have any reason to come to sweden... know that you have a place to stay. for seriös.