what is this i can't even
[14:34] EB: John's got his fancy suits.
[14:34] EB: Or rather. Fancy suit and LAAAB COAAT
[14:34] CG: MORE LIKE HIS FANCY SUIT AND HIS KEEBLER ELF COAT >:|
[14:34] EB: Hey you take that back the Junior Ectobiologist's Lab Suit is clearly a badass labcoat
[14:34] EB: >:|
[14:35] CG: YEAH OKAY YOU STILL LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO SKIP THROUGH FORESTS.
[14:35] EB: well you don't wear anything cool, so nyeah!
[14:35] CG: WOW, THAT MIGHT WOUND ME IF I AT ALL CARED, ELFY ELF ELF BOY.
[14:36] EB: i am nowhere near an elf!
[14:36] CG: YOU HAVE A BRIGHT GREEN SHIRT. WITH A BELT. AND YOU PRANCE. THOSE ARE LIKE THE THREE ELF DEFINITION POINTS.
[14:36] EB: since when was i prancing around?
[14:37] CG: YOU ALWAYS PRANCE. YOU ARE A PRANCING KIND OF GUY. HAHAHA DID YOU THINK YOU WERE A SUAVE, SWAGGER KIND OF GUY.
[14:38] EB: man i dunno what you're talking about. I totally swagger when I walk.
[14:39] CG: HAHAHAHAHA. YES, MAYBE LIKE YOU'VE GOT A LOAD IN YOUR PANTS.
[14:39] EB: you take that back!
[14:39] CG: NEENER NEENER SWAGGERING ELF SHOULD POOP IN THE FOREST.
[14:40] EB: ha ha very funny! i bet you think you're some kind of cool toough guy don't you!
[14:40] CG: WELL, AT LEAST BETTER THAN AN ELF.
[14:42] EB: yeah well would an elf carry a hammer this cool?
[14:42] EB: i mean look at this thing, you cannot deny how sweet it is
[14:42] CG: ...WELL YEAH, THAT'S LIKE ONE OF THE LAMEST WEAPONS TO LAME, SO I'D KIND OF EXPECT THAT, ACTUALLY.
[14:42] EB: hammers are lame? what kind of planet do you come from? hammers are the coolest weapons.
[14:43] CG: SO STUPID. THEY'RE NOT EVEN SHARP OR ANYTHING. HAMMERS ARE LAMEY LAME.
[14:43] EB: they don't need to be sharp, they do crazy damage!
[14:43] EB: can't stab a skeleton, can you? goes right through it!
[14:44] CG: THAT'S WHY YOU JUST CUT IT TO PIECES, DIPSHIT. ...WHY ARE YOU EVEN FIGHTING SKELETONS, DON'T YOU HAVE IMPS TO MASSACRE OR SOME SHIT, JEGUS.
[14:45] EB: imps are small-time! i fought tons of those guys and they can't even match this sweet hammer.
[14:46] CG: SO WHY ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT SKELETONS, IDIOT? FINE FINE, GO SMASH THINGS LIKE THE BRUTEY BRUTE ELF YOU ARE.
[14:46] EB: fine, you go do your stabbiy mcstabalot thing with whatever weapon you have. i bet it's lamer than my hammer.
[14:47] CG: UH, SICKLES ARE LIKE IMMEDIATELY AND FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES COOLER THAN HAMMERS, SO YOU DO THAT.
[14:47] EB: oh man sickles? hahahah. i bet you're trying to be some darky mcdarkface with those or something
[14:48] EB: "ooh, i use sickles because i'm dark and brooding and edgy!" c'mon man, sickles, really?
[14:48] CG: MORE LIKE I'M A FUCKING THRESHECUTIONER AND YOU'RE TAKING SHITS IN THE WOODS YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME BOY!
[14:49] EB: what's a threshecutioner? and man your sickle would just get smashed.
[14:49] CG: IT'S SOMETHING SO AWESOME THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND IF YOU THINK IT'S JUST GOING TO GET SMASHED, DUMBY DUMBPANTS.
[14:50] EB: more like something so dumb you doon't wanna admit it, broody broodstein!
[14:51] CG: FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THAT. SICKLES ARE COOLER THAN YOU COULD EVER TRY - OR PERHAPS EVEN DAYDREAM ABOUT MIDDAY - TO BE.
[14:52] EB: hammers are the greatest and you know it! sickles are 100 years behind them!
[14:53] CG: WHATEVER. WHY DON'T YOU GO KNOCK SOME NAILS INTO BOARDS AND LET THE REAL MEN DO THE JOB FOR NOW.
[14:53] EB: aren't sickles used for crops anyway or something? i'll go do the real manly work of bashing stuff in while you go tend to your crops, farmer boy.
[14:54] CG: FUCK OFF RIGHT INTO OUTER SPACE, THEY ARE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, YOU DUMB SHIT. CROPS WOULDN'T STAND A CHANCE.
[14:55] EB: bluh bluh bluh, bet you spend all day out in the yard, farmer boy!
[14:56] CG: BLUH BLUH YOURSELF, YES. IF BY ALL DAY YOU MEAN TWENTY SECONDS AND IN THE YARD YOU MEAN I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR HEAD TWOFOLD, I'M ALL UP IN THAT SHIT.
[14:57] EB: whatever, that's not the point. the point is...
[14:57] EB: i have a jetpack, so no matter sickles or hammers i'm cooler.
[14:58] CG: HAHAHAHA YOU MEAN THE JETPACK THAT GOT YOUR MURDERED ONCE? GREAT TOOL, JOHN!!
[14:58] EB: yeah, cause your dumb friend killed me!
[14:58] CG: YEAH, AND SHE STILL WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT. GOOD JOB LISTENING TO THE ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE.
[14:59] EB: whatever! she helped us out anyway, cause now future dave saved me and we got all this sweet gear.
[14:59] EB: so it totally backfired on her!
[15:00] CG: OF COURSE IT BACKFIRED ON HER. SHE IS VERY STUPID AND YOU SHOULD FEEL TERRIBLE FOR BEING PROUD OF THIS.
[15:03] EB: like you should feel terrible for trying to troll us and not doing a good job at it?
[15:03] CG: FUCK YOU ABOUT THAT! JUST BECAUSE I HAVE FINESSE THAT YOU COULDN'T WRAP YOUR SIMPLE HUMAN CRANIUM AROUND.
[15:04] EB: finesse? more like failnesse!
[15:04] CG: WOW, DID YOU THINK THAT UP ALL ON YOUR OWN OR DID YOU JUST HAVE IT ON HAND, HOPING THAT SOMEONE WOULD USE THE WORD 'FINESSSE'?
[15:05] CG: WITH ONE LESS 'S'.
[15:06] EB: it's better than what i've seen from you!
[15:07] CG: YEAH, OKAY, NUMBNUTS. YOU JUST HAVEN'T SEEN THE BEST STUFF YET. I'M LETTING YOU SIT MILDLY UNCOMFORTABLY NOW, AND THEN I'M GOING TO DECIMATE YOU.
[15:07] EB: oh i'm totally scared of you and your silly sickle coming to get me!
[15:08] CG: NO, IN THE DITCH. IDIOT GOES IN THE DITCH BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT. YOU DON'T GET TO BE IN THE CHERISHED PRESENCE OF SICKLES. IDIOT.
[15:09] EB: oh please.
[15:10] EB: i could troll harder in my sleep if i wanted!
[15:11] CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH GOG DID YOU JUST TYPE THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE. HAHAHAHAHA!
[15:12] EB: what of it?
[15:12] CG: HAHAHAAAAA YOU DID! THE ELF THINKS HE COULD TROLL!
[15:16] CG: ......lmfao how did this happen
[15:16] EB: ...I have NO IDEA.