Just a Beautiful Disaster (3/?)
Pairing: Trentbastian
Rating:M for Mature, I guess.
Genre(s): Angst, Hurt/Comfort, complicated friendship and romance?
Author's Note: Here's the next chapter as promised! A little bit from Sebastian's perspective. Same as last time, the text in italics represents a flashback. Enjoy!
Sebastian was sitting in class, completely unable to pay attention to whatever the hell the teacher was saying. For one, he had a lot of mixed feelings about what went down at the headmaster's office with his father. This whole thing with the New Directions and Blaine had turned in to a horrible fiasco. He was kicking himself for miscalculating, for allowing things to get out of control. He felt stupid and weak. And now to make things worse, his dad wouldn't let him live it down, especially not after he told his mother about it. He was sure it would be hell on earth when he got back home later that day. Then, on top of everything and after all that he had to deal with, there was the little altercation he had with Trent in the hallway. Of all people he was trying to avoid, Trent was the first one. Okay, Trent and maybe Blaine, but at least Blaine was miles away in another school and not everyday just inches away from him in the same classroom. He was able to avoid him for everything else except for biology, where they were partners and would have to sit in the same stupid desk probably for the rest of the school year. He still had a strange feeling in his chest after what happened in the hallway, and the things he had said. But he did not want to acknowledge it at all. If he had learned anything from this whole mess is that he was a fool for letting himself trust those guys just to have them turn on him at the last minute. He thought he could make a difference in the pathetic way the Warblers operated; turn them into something decent. Turns out he was wrong. They didn't have what it takes to be truly successful; they weren't determined enough, not like he was. But anyway, on top of all those things, he had a massive headache that just wouldn't budge. Between his hangover and all the stress of this morning, he felt his head was going to explode.
He excused himself with the teacher, asking permission to go to the nurse's office to see if he could get aspirin or something to help with the headache. The teacher didn't think anything of it, probably noticing how tired he looked. He left the classroom and hurried down the stairs. As he was taking the steps down he noticed Trent leaving the nurse's office, so he stopped halfway, hiding himself from view behind one of the columns. Trent looked really bad, his face was all splotchy and he clearly looked like he had been crying, his pale skin flushed and eyes puffy and red. He was surprised when instead of returning to class he saw Trent headed for the exit. He noticed the little yellow paper note he was carrying and figured he had a permit to leave school early. That was weird. He wondered for a minute if something bad had happened to him, or someone on his family, but quickly kicked himself for even caring. As he continued his way down the stairs, it never crossed his mind that maybe Trent had been upset because of what happened earlier with him.
The aspirin the nurse gave him did little to help his headache. He just wanted to go home and rest, which he realized was probably just wishful thinking with all the things he would have to deal with once the school day was over. He still had to figure out a way to get home. There was no way in hell he would take public transportation. He had enough cash in him to call a cab, but he didn't want people noticing he was taking a taxi back home; it would be completely humiliating to him. He just hoped Greg, their family driver, had already collected his car by the time the bell rang. He could probably go to the library and make himself busy while the parking lot emptied and then make the call.
When the last bell of the day rang, he did exactly that. Just took his things and went to the library, figuring he could use the time and his some homework so by the time he went home he could deal with his parents and whatever happened then. It wasn't hard to focus on schoolwork now that his headache was gone and so he managed to finish everything for the day; he was glad, that meant he would have the weekend free, and he sure needed some distraction. He was so lost in his thoughts that he lost track of time until his phone buzzed in the table and he picked it up to see his mother's name flashing through the screen.Damn.
"Hello, mom..." he said, already a little guarded.
"Sebastian? Where are you? It's almost 5." She said impatiently.
"I uh… stayed in school, had to work on an essay and-"
"It's getting late Sebastian, I need you to come home right now."
He sighed, almost defeated. "Okay, I will."
"Greg is waiting for you outside"
This surprised Sebastian, he didn't expect it at all.
"Hurry up and come home. Your father… he is getting impatient, he really wanted you to take the bus you know? But God knows I won't let no son of mine wander on the streets using public transportation. Even if you deserved the punishment."
He smiled at her words, though the exasperation in her voice was noticeable, and he could tell she wasn't happy with him at all.
"Thanks, I guess."
"Just hurry."
She hung up and Sebastian breathed a heavy sigh as he collected his things in his satchel and proceeded to exit the library. Just as he was getting to the main gate of the school building he caught sight of some of the Warblers coming from down the hall when the choir room was located. He just cast a sideways glance towards them and continued, not missing the way they started whispering among themselves. They didn't usually have Warbler practice on Fridays, but he figured they must be going mad trying to figure out what to do about regionals now that they didn't have him to tell them what to do. He was suddenly deeply thankful that his mother had sent the driver to pick him up, if he would have had to wait outside for his cab the Warblers would have been able to reach him and he was growing tired of their insistence. He had made it clear; he was not interested in being a Warbler anymore. He spotted Greg quickly enough, waiting for him outside the car, rushing to open the door for him as soon as he noticed him walking towards it. Any other day he would have shrugged him off, telling him how unnecessary the gesture was, as he was more than able to open his own door, but just as he was entering the car he turned his head around and saw the Warblers standing by the gateway, staring at him, and he chuckled to himself smugly. Losers.
The drive home was quiet, but just as the car parked in the Smythe home driveway Sebastian could feel the dread growing heavy in his gut. He put his best face on as he opened the front door and sure enough, his mother was waiting for him there. "Follow me" she said, quickly turning on her heels and starting up the stairs where his father's office was located. Any other day he would have been greeted with a small hug and kiss in the cheek, as his mother was usually very affectionate towards him, so by the looks of things the situation was probably going to be worse than he anticipated. He thought he could score a few sympathy points with his mom, since she had sent the driver out to get him instead of following through with his father's wishes of having him walk and take the bus, but apparently that wasn't going to be the case. She entered the office and just walked straight ahead to stand by her husband's side. He was sitting in his desk, still wearing the same expression he did earlier when they met at Dalton with the headmaster. Sebastian slowly entered the room and sat in one of the chairs in front of his father's desk, cautiously looking at both of them without saying a word. He was quiet and expectant, hoping they would quickly say whatever they needed to. He just wanted the whole thing to be over so he could go back to his life and make plans for the weekend.
His father started: "I already told your mother about everything that happened and the things we went over this morning with the headmaster..." His mother just nodded "…And so we discussed the terms of your grounding."
Sebastian blinked incredulously… "Grounding." he said, more an affirmation than a question in itself, spoken in complete and utter disbelief. Were they kidding? He couldn't remember the last time he was grounded. What, was he twelve or something?
"Yes Sebastian, we think you need to be reminded of how important things like good behavior and civility are, you have obviously been taking things for granted young man. And it needs to stop."
He lifted his head and just stared at the ceiling, shaking his head in disbelief, he was trying really hard to hide his annoyance with the whole premise of being grounded, but he was failing. He at least managed to remain silent, internally begging for them to just say the rest and put him out of his misery once and for all.
"Your father already made sure there aren't going to be legal repercussions to your actions, but you need to go to the Anderson's home and apologize for what happened."
Sebastian almost choked on his own breath. No way in hell was he going to do that, especially not if he was being dragged to do so by some pathetic parental penitence.
"That's just not gonna happen." He said, shaking his head. "I won't apologize for something that was his fault in-"
"God dammit Sebastian!" his mother interrupted, her voice cracking with anger and… was she… crying? Her eyes were full of tears and her face flushed with her anger. He had seen that expression in her eyes before, and he hated it, hated himself for being the one who caused it.
"Don't you see how close this was? What could have happened if the Anderson's decided to press charges? Do you realize everything you could lose? And all because of what? What is it this time Sebastian?"
He couldn't say anything to that. He knew what she was asking about, and no, it wasn't anything like that this time. He was in control, nothing like he used to be back in Paris, but he knew he could never take it back and now that fear would be in the back of his mother's mind every time he managed to fuck up.
"Your allowance will be cut by half…" his father continued, cutting out his mother as she was getting too emotional to express herself properly anymore. "Greg will drive you to and from school and we're having Thomas accompany you everywhere whenever you need to be other places that are neither school nor home, but you are expected to be home before 7pm at the most."
Shit. They were giving him a curfew; and a fucking bodyguard? More like a thug nanny. This was way worse than he expected. The allowance cut he could bare, he had personal savings anyway, but having some idiot tag along with him wherever he went posed an incredible obstacle to his life, particularly his nightlife, and the plans he had already thought of for the weekend. Everything just vanished before his eyes. This sucked. But he couldn't protest, he wasn't stupid, and he knew his dad wouldn't reconsider, given the circumstances. Everything had already been discussed and agreed upon with his mother before he even got home, which meant it was probably irrevocable, and with the anger outburst his father had earlier at Dalton he just didn't want to push his luck any further.
"For how long?" he managed to ask through gritted teeth, staring at the wall, not daring to challenge his father's gaze and risk just making everything worse.
"That is yet to be determined…" his father replied dryly. "It will all depend on how you behave for the first few weeks."
The first few weeks? Ugh. Just murder me now. Sebastian thought to himself.
Everything was bad, just as he expected, yet he realized it was a good thing he was at least still allowed to leave the house, maybe he could bribe Thomas into letting him go to the bar tomorrow night. He started to drift away in his thoughts as he blocked out the rest of his parents' speech, he would just stare at them and their disappointed looks as they went over and over practically the same speech he was given last year while he was living in Paris; about taking things for granted and disappointing them and risking the reputation of their family's name. When he was finally excused, he just went to his room, shut the door behind him and collapsed on the bed, exhausted. How did he end up in this mess? Things had gone from stressful to awful to just ridiculous in one single day. He didn't leave his room for the rest of the evening, even for dinnertime, feeling powerless and angry and not really in the mood to deal with his parents again. It was only hours later, when his stomach was hurting from the hunger pains that he forced himself out of his room and down to the kitchen. That's when he realized his parents weren't even in the house to begin with. They had some charity dinner event, according to Helena, their maid. He felt stupid for skipping dinner in vain, and proceeded to make himself a sandwich, since he was not really hungry enough to eat the proper dinner that was sitting cold in the oven for him.
He ate in the kitchen table in silence, staring into nothingness and lost in his thoughts. He had screwed up big time. When he had first heard about Blaine needing surgery it had been from Santana, and he figured she was just exaggerating things to make him look like a monster and giving the Warblers a massive guilt trip over harming their previous friend and idol. But as it turned out, it was actually true; he had hurt Blaine to the point where he would need surgery in his eye. Fuck. That was really bad and he wished he could just stop replaying that moment in his head over and over again. Blaine's painful screaming even more excruciating now that he realized actual damage had been done. He hated himself, for being stupid and for letting his pride get the best of him, for letting his hatred of Kurt Hummel blind his judgment. He wanted to humiliate him, but not physically hurt him. It wasn't because he didn't find the idea of it appealing, but because he wasn't' an idiot and he knew he wouldn't be able to get away with it. Kurt just irritated him so much, and at the same time made him feel like a failure.
He had wanted Blaine for so long and yet he still chose to stay with Kurt every time. At the beginning that only had made him want him even more, but after weeks had turned into months and nothing really happened between them he had gotten tired of playing that game. He couldn't exactly put a finger over what was it about Blaine that made him so desirable. Sure, he was good looking and had a fantastic ass, as far as he could tell, but there was something more, and it bothered him. It bothered him because he couldn't have him, and that was unusual to him. Also, because whenever he talked to Blaine he could tell he was into him, yet all Blaine managed to do was to lead him on and then as soon as they got too close he would go running back to Kurt. After a while, Sebastian figured out he just loved the attention and what it did to his ego, and he wasn't about to become anyone's puppet. So he had decided to change his strategy and be more aggressive. He had already decided in his mind that he would no longer pursue Blaine, and so slushiying Kurt was only part of the message he was trying to get through to him; that he didn't care about him anymore. He didn't want to get it on with Sebastian? Fine, it was his loss. He didn't want anything serious with him anyway, and it wasn't like he couldn't get laid elsewhere either. God knows he had already gotten some action a few times while he was pursuing him. And so he planned to sell Blaine out by using the information he had trusted him with, getting him in trouble with the New Directions, and then he would slushy Kurt just for the fun of it. He thought it was a brilliant plan, and that he would be able to walk away with a little personal victory. He looked forward to humiliating Kurt the most, but in the end it had all blown up in his face, and once more, he had lost.
Just remembering the whole thing was making him physically ill. He finished his dinner and went back to his room. Not in the mood for TV or music, he just decided he would distract himself checking his emails and with Facebook or Twitter or something in his phone. There had not been any new status updates from Blaine ever since the slushy incident. He figured he must not be up for being in the computer if he had one eye covered or recovering from surgery. And so he kept hovering over other people's activity, trying to distract himself, but not in the mood for posting anything new in his own. The only thing barely distracting him was checking out all his tagged photos from the night before. Some of the guys from the Lacrosse team had a small get together thing a few blocks away from Sebastian's own home, and they had gotten completely wasted. It had actually been fun, and the distraction Sebastian needed in that moment, even though he wasn't able to make out with anyone, as he was apparently the only one who was gay in the team, or at least the only one willing to admit it. After browsing for a while and not really doing anything he noticed his main feed notifications. Friends with birthdays this week: And there was the smiling face of Trent.
No, he wasn't really in the mood for thinking about Trent right now. He just wished he could turn back time and not let himself get so close to him in the first place. He wasn't really the type of person to look into having close friendships, he had learned them to only become vulnerabilities and with his father's job and their constant moves across the country or even the continent, he ended up having to leave his friends behind time and time again. Yet there was something about Trent that had made him put his guard down. And now that was one of the things he regretted the most, because while he didn't expect much from the rest of the guys in the Warblers, he had actually trusted Trent as a friend, and now he felt betrayed by him. Sebastian didn't want to admit it, but what happened didn't just wound his pride, it had actually hurt his feelings too.
Ever since what happened on Wednesday, he felt a strange feeling in his chest when he thought about Trent, and so he decided the solution was to get as far away from him as possible. It wasn't that he didn't want to take part in the singing competitions anymore; he actually loved performing, and he knew he was good at it. Also, he didn't care if the Warblers hated him or loved him or feared him, as long as they did what he wanted. But deep down he knew being a Warbler was something that would always hold a close connection to his friendship with Trent. After all, he was the reason Sebastian joined the Warblers in the first place.
They were sitting in the study room, bored to death. They had been working on their biology project, about regeneration in sponges, paramecia and planarian. They were nowhere near finished with the report, but they had decided to take a little break and now couldn't bring themselves to get up. Trent was lying in the reclining chair, with his feet up in the air, and Sebastian was lying on the carpet, staring at the ceiling.
"What would you rather be doing right now?"
"Anything"
"No but, I mean… There must be something in particular. Something you love to do?"
"Trust me. You don't want to know…" - Sebastian said, chuckling mischievously.
"Be serious…" - Trent replied; grabbing the small paper airplane he had in his hands, quickly turning it into a ball and tossing it at Sebastian.
"Whoa, your aim sucks!" - Sebastian said, mocking him, as the small paper ball had bounced on the floor, completely missing him.
Trent said nothing, just flopped back on the chair and stared at the ceiling, clearly thinking that he wasn't being taken seriously and giving up on the conversation. And while it was true that Sebastian would rather be somewhere else doing something more exciting like hooking up with a good looking guy, there were also other things he found enjoyable and relaxing, one of them was just laying in the floor staring at the ceiling, like he was at the moment, but he also enjoyed playing music. And so he got up, and went to the other side of the room to pick up his guitar. Trent quickly looked up, eyeing him with suspicion as Sebastian sat in the chair across from him and started arranging the chords. Soon he started playing, and singing:
So high tonight and I don't feel like coming down
I could lie to you all my days, but you're the one
You're the one
And I'm a fool for waiting so long to let you know
Come around, come around, come around to me.
There's something in between you and I
Come around, come around to me
You feel like breathing
Come around, come around, come around to me
He continued singing, losing himself in the song and only occasionally glancing up to see the amazed look on Trent's face. He just smiled to himself, and continued. Playing and singing was something he did mostly for himself these days, music kept him company in lonely nights when it was just him and his big old house.
Like sunlight won't you come and lay a ray down
You're the one
I could run, I could run for the life of me
But where would that get me, where would that lead
And I'm a fool for waiting so long
Please come around, come around, come around, come around to me
There's something in between you and I
Come around, come around, come around to me
You feel like breathing
Come around, come around, come around come around to me
He continued to sing and suddenly he realized Trent was singing along, albeit quietly and his voice was so low it was barely perceivable. When Trent's gaze found his' he just stared at him and winked, smiling to himself as he saw Trent blushing, his white cheeks turning a little pink, and he couldn't help but find it endearing.
"What?" Sebastian asked when he finished the song, staring at Trent who still had a surprised look on his face.
"Nothing… I just wasn't expecting that at all. You're really good!"
"Yeah, well I just really like this song"
"Is it because if reminds you of someone?" Trent asked, a little sheepish and Sebastian could see the hesitance in his features as he completed his sentence "Maybe a girlfriend you left behind in Paris or something?"
Sebastian laughed out loud then, throwing his head back and holding on to his guitar as he laughed. Trent's eyes widened, the blush on his cheeks coming back with a vengeance, and his face was almost a dark red now.
"Um, no… definitely not a girlfriend." He said between giggles and he just stared at Trent, still laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. His eyes were beginning to tear up a bit; he just couldn't believe Trent was so oblivious.
"What?"
"I've never had a girlfriend, Trent."
Trent just narrowed his eyes.
"I'm serious..."
Trent then rolled his eyes and huffed, clearly thinking Sebastian was just messing with him at this point.
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint but I don't do relationships, and especially not with girls…" At those last words, Trent just frowned in confusion, staring at Sebastian with incredulous eyes, his mouth half opened, like he was trying to form words but not managing to get anything out.
"I'm gay. Trent." Sebastian said, amusing himself with the completely dumbstruck look on his face.
"You're gay?"
"Yes… Is that a problem?"
"What? No! No, why would it… I mean… I just, I didn't know."
"Well, you never asked." Sebastian replied nonchalantly, giving Trent his best flirty smirk. "Don't tell me you've never met anyone who's gay before. I mean, you've been at Dalton for what? 3 years now?"
It was actually hilarious and endearing to see the look in Trent's face at Sebastian's words. He was having a field day just prodding him for reactions. "Hah… No, um. I'm… I am actually gay too." He said sheepishly, yet not able to hide his smile anymore.
"Well aren't you full of surprises?" Sebastian lied, he figured Trent was probably gay, but he had learned not to make assumptions about people, specially not when it came to their sexuality. He knew from experience it gave him a little satisfaction when when people didn't suspect he was gay, so he figured lying about it would make Trent feel good too, and If the smile on his face was any indication, he had succeeded. He liked Trent; he was fun to be around in a refreshing kind of way.
"I like to sing too… you know?" Trent continued, all shy smiles and hopeful eyes, clearly trying to change the subject of the conversation and lighten things up. "I'm in the Warblers, the choir group at Dalton, you should totally join Sebastian. We could really use someone like you this year."
Soon they started talking about the Warblers and all the things Trent had experienced with them through his years at Dalton, and all the awkwardness Trent was showing about their earlier discussion was long gone. He seemed to be really fond of the Warblers, and was really insistent that Sebastian should audition to join. He was hesitant, because he already had joined the Lacrosse team and was also involved in the student council, but he figured if anything his parents would be pleased that he put his singing and dancing skills to good use again. He had always been a little bit of an over achiever, and his parents just thrived on pushing him to be the very best he could be. They had paid music lessons for him since he was very young, he could play guitar, piano and violin. He also had a vocal coach and dance lessons when he was in junior high. So he knew if he joined the Warblers they would never be satisfied with him only singing backup for some random soloist. He would want to be in the position where he could be the center of attention and show everything he got. So when Trent told him the story about how they had lost Blaine Anderson, their former lead singer and how they didn't really have anyone who could fill his shoes now, he knew he was the man for the job.
It had been a fun ride. Ever since his audition he had worked his way up to influence the way the council made decisions about how the Warblers operated. After a bit of protests and incredulity, they gave in, and when following his advice and letting him be in charge of the songs and choreography had given them a hands down victory at sectionals, no one had protested when he was named captain of the Warblers. He was talented and strong willed, so they had been glad to let him take the wheel and lead the way. It also didn't hurt that the Warblers were popular at Dalton, so being captain only added to his already rising popularity. It was awesome.
Now as he lay in his bed reminiscing on all these things he couldn't help but feel a little angry at having all his hard work practically go to waste. After how things had turned out, he had nothing but bittersweet memories of it all. He just hoped Trent would stop insisting on fixing things with him, especially after what happened earlier at school. Usually he wouldn't think twice about insulting people and telling them off, it came as second nature to him, yet he couldn't stop thinking about the look on Trent's face as he walked away from him in the hallway.
You're pathetic, stop wasting my time.
Well, everyone already knew what an asshole Sebastian could be, so Trent was probably just late to join the rest of the world in their common knowledge. Being rude is what he did best, apparently. Maybe he even made enemies easier than he made friends, but he couldn't bring himself to care, or at least that was what he kept telling himself. Though if he really didn't care then why couldn't he stop thinking about it? It was exhausting, and boring. He was doomed to stay home for the weekend, grounded, and if he didn't stop torturing himself with his own thoughts he was going to go crazy. So he decided to change out of his uniform and try to get some sleep. After a couple of more restless minutes, he was able to sleep.
The next morning he was awoken when he felt his bed shift with the weight of someone sitting next to him. When he felt a soft touch on his shoulder he knew it was his mother.
"Sebastian…"
He wondered if he could feign sleep convincingly enough for her to go away, but quickly realized that wasn't going to happen when he she started gently shaking his shoulder, urging him to wake up.
"Ugh, what?" he groaned, his voice muffled against his pillow.
"We're going to the country club for brunch."
No. He did not want anything to do with life outside his room today, especially not this early, and especially not if it had anything to do with his parents.
"Mmph… no, mom… I think I'll pass…" he replied, pulling his covers back up and hiding his face further into the pillows.
"Sebastian, honey…" his mom started, apparently her anger from yesterday had already dissipated enough for her usual terms of endearment towards him to come back.
"You can't stay in bed all day. You should come with us…" she hesitated for a few seconds before continuing, "…your father wants to talk to you."
That startled Sebastian… "About what?" he turned around and slowly propped himself up on his elbows so he could look at her and figure out what she was talking about. He could tell something was up when he saw the expression in her face was a mixture of love, sadness and maybe even worry.
"Didn't he say enough yesterday?" Sebastian asked again, clearly skeptical about why she was insisting he went with them to the country club when usually they would have no problem going by themselves and leaving him to do whatever he wanted.
She sighed heavily, and looked at him, hesitating, as if she didn't really know if she should say something or not, but then said: "He heard you quit the Warblers..." And that's all Sebastian needed to hear in order to know exactly why his father wanted to talk to him, preferably in a public place, and over a delicious meal. He rolled his eyes and collapsed back onto his bed, feeling defeated. He had been so relieved when that hadn't come up while his father had been at Dalton yesterday, and figured he could maybe get away with just not saying anything about it. It wasn't like his parents could go and see him at his competitions anyway, with how busy they always seemed to be. How did he even find out? His mother must have sensed he was wondering about that and so she continued: "The Thompsons were at the Charity dinner last night, and they got talking. Apparently David told them he is very worried because there's a big competition coming up?"
And in that moment, if Sebastian thought he couldn't get angrier at David and Trent and all those losers then oh boy had he been wrong. He felt a pang of hot rage bubble up inside him and he reached to put his hands over his head, feeling like ripping his hair out for lack of a better outlet. Before he could say anything though, his bedroom door cracked open… "We're leaving in 15 minutes, I'll be waiting downstairs." His father said before closing the door again.
Yes, his weekend was going to suck.
Author's note: Thank you for reading and to those of you who added the story to your alerts. Makes me so happy every time someone reviews or subscribes!
The song Sebastian played in this chapter is Come Around, by Rosi Golan, acoustic version of course. You should check it out cause it is so amazing ;_;