overdue, but... SMF meme '09
if you're not a SMF-goer, you prolly won't get this. be warned.
Three references I kept quoting all weekend:
1. "NEED MORE VEGGIES!" (i was a kitchen line supervisor)
2. "Where's your badge?" (see above; and yes, this was a working holiday, lol)
3. "I'm SO excited about the new script!"
Three happy surprises:
1. I found that one guy I didn't know till last year you COULD find!!! (and it was just about the AWESOMEST experience EVER RECORDED!!!)
2. dedicating didn't turn out to be as scary an experience as i thought it would be. so far.
3. i got to actually see both Lessers and Greaters (even if i was so tired at Greaters i think i dreamed some of it; it was really surreal to me), AND got to finally see the talent show/fashion show for the first time (after like eight years).
Three things that were hard:
1. staying awake for ritual.
2. staying on my feet on the line.
3. riding the fine line between pleasurable flirting and outright promises i could not keep.
Three audience reactions that were just great:
i WAS the audience this year, so i was too immersed in my own experience to notice others'.
Three sources of inspiration:
1. Ebet
2. Dewey
3. the big D...as always
Three ad-lib bits that worked:
again; audience this year. dunno what was ad-lib and what was scripted. Though i found some of the changes great...and I'm sure some of the siren stuff was ad-libbed...and it was all HAWT!!! nearly got dragooned into being red-tagged. hehe, but i got to experience some of that at the Nueve de Beltane, so it's all good. Gods and Goddesses bless you, Nicole, for being just about the sexiest creature alive!!! Just when I think I'm possibly asexual or something, you like, reinvent my libido for me. you GODDESS!!!
Three songs stuck in my head during the weekend:
1. "Hoof and Horn"
2. the chant to the big D. eternally.
3. that awesome "I Am The Fire Bird" thing by Sooj and company that Nichole and Koe sang...cuz...guh.
Three things I’m relieved about:
1. as i turns out, dedication is not as onerous a duty (at least organizationally speaking) as i'd thought it'd be. I'd gotten myself pretty psyched out about it...but it's going to be a more organic experience, thankfully. The Gods work the way THEY work...not according to our schedules! i hate it when these revelations are forced by some artificially-imposed structure/timetable!
2. i got to see Lessers AND Greaters
3. I had time to meet (finally!) and sort of 'pre-dedicate' to the big D.
Three things I’m less than happy about:
1. my exhaustion during Greaters that made me miss a lot in the post wedding-feast haze.
2. missing the sensuality of the old Greaters script...but it was not possible in this version without being too Olympian for even our lot. But it was exploring a whole new set of feelings, so that's all good. Hopefully next year i'll be able to fully immerse myself in it and let it enter me in a deeper way.
3. missed visiting Artemis, which has been kind of an annual tradition for me for deeply spiritual reasons, as She's been my patron Goddess for most of my life thus far...but i'm sucking hard on wild God rather than wild Goddess energie lately (no pun intended) and i had a lot of overdue honoring to do, so...
Three good conversations:
1. conversations? between meals?! HAH!
2. i THINK i had a great one with BlackCat. I hope i didn't just dream that, because the man has a great mind and great energy...but i will admit that sadly i have a tendency to forget what he says sometimes because (A) his voice is hypnotic, and (B) he is just so damned PRETTY! (not to mention that he exudes sex. which is annoying, because he's gay. and taken. why am i only ever attracted to GAY guys?! LOL)
3. but, far and away...the ECSTASY of my shrine scene with He Who Must Not Be Named was... There are no words other than ECSTASY!!! and a DAMN long time coming (like since my Greaters year, so like seven or eight years now)!!!
Three things I’m sorry I missed:
1. a conscious and intellectual, in depth appreciation of the new Greaters script
2. Artemis' shrine.
3. once again: cheesecloth mysteries and AAOP (it'll happen when it's supposed to, i have faith...and not that i don't always jump in at some point anyway, but i'm NOT gonna not do cheesecloth next year if i can avoid it, so it's all good)
Three times I surprised myself:
1. physical flirtation with a certain girl, which is further than i usually go.
2. what came out of me at my shrine scene with HIM. *mindblown*
3. what came out of me at my shrine scene with Hermes. We really can surprise ourselves sometimes with both what our subconscious knows we NEED to do/get past...and what tools the Universe knows we WILL need in future. Can't wait to see what comes next!
(Bonus: not feeling too bad about missing out on the cast cameraderie...there's always next year, and i realized that that party is for them. we have the Beltanes, LOL)
Three important private moments:
1. My heart to heart with HIM, and my dedication to Hermes.
2. finding (i hope) MY ritual tattoo artist!
3. for some odd and very calming reason, chopping tomatoes with that awescome Itailan Restaurant chick whose name currently escapes me but who has the coolest freakin energie...
(Bonus: as always, cleansing in that awesome WATER!)
Three things that made it all worthwhile:
1. finally dedicating to Hermes after a year of low-level angsting about it.
2. being wanted/pursued is always fun; a rare treat for me.
3. and, the Ultimate... FINALLY FINDING *HIM* and basking in HIS glow.
Three things I now know:
1. i think i could sleep with someone with less strictures than i had previously thought (maybe i'm growing up a bit); though i also know i still need more work on myself just yet...which segues into:
2. i'm ready to start facing losing control of my body. i think. (methinks HE can help me with that. XD)
3. i really NEED Hermes in my life right now. Thank you, Tris Magistus!
Three things I’m going to do next:
1. bask in memories of Nueve de Beltane!
2. dream about making out with Nichole. because anyone who doesn't dream about Nicole (aside from, like Brian, Scotty, and Tim, LOL) is just...unfathomable.
3. work with what Hermes is giving me (my deepest gratitude!) and on the assignment that HE gave me
Three things I’m looking forward to:
1. Sickle tryouts/ being at HSF with Kim/SMF tryouts
2. my first tour at Wolf Haven
3. working with Hermes, and later, finally dedicating to HIM.
on the surface, "a ritual drama weekend re-enacting the Persephone/Demeter/Hades story on a decommissioned Coast Guard base with 300-odd pagans" sounds fun but sort of repetitious after a few years and not all that life-changing. And yet it is Utterly Transformative; EVERY DAMNED TIME.
SRSLY. what IS it about that festival?!!!
Three references I kept quoting all weekend:
1. "NEED MORE VEGGIES!" (i was a kitchen line supervisor)
2. "Where's your badge?" (see above; and yes, this was a working holiday, lol)
3. "I'm SO excited about the new script!"
Three happy surprises:
1. I found that one guy I didn't know till last year you COULD find!!! (and it was just about the AWESOMEST experience EVER RECORDED!!!)
2. dedicating didn't turn out to be as scary an experience as i thought it would be. so far.
3. i got to actually see both Lessers and Greaters (even if i was so tired at Greaters i think i dreamed some of it; it was really surreal to me), AND got to finally see the talent show/fashion show for the first time (after like eight years).
Three things that were hard:
1. staying awake for ritual.
2. staying on my feet on the line.
3. riding the fine line between pleasurable flirting and outright promises i could not keep.
Three audience reactions that were just great:
i WAS the audience this year, so i was too immersed in my own experience to notice others'.
Three sources of inspiration:
1. Ebet
2. Dewey
3. the big D...as always
Three ad-lib bits that worked:
again; audience this year. dunno what was ad-lib and what was scripted. Though i found some of the changes great...and I'm sure some of the siren stuff was ad-libbed...and it was all HAWT!!! nearly got dragooned into being red-tagged. hehe, but i got to experience some of that at the Nueve de Beltane, so it's all good. Gods and Goddesses bless you, Nicole, for being just about the sexiest creature alive!!! Just when I think I'm possibly asexual or something, you like, reinvent my libido for me. you GODDESS!!!
Three songs stuck in my head during the weekend:
1. "Hoof and Horn"
2. the chant to the big D. eternally.
3. that awesome "I Am The Fire Bird" thing by Sooj and company that Nichole and Koe sang...cuz...guh.
Three things I’m relieved about:
1. as i turns out, dedication is not as onerous a duty (at least organizationally speaking) as i'd thought it'd be. I'd gotten myself pretty psyched out about it...but it's going to be a more organic experience, thankfully. The Gods work the way THEY work...not according to our schedules! i hate it when these revelations are forced by some artificially-imposed structure/timetable!
2. i got to see Lessers AND Greaters
3. I had time to meet (finally!) and sort of 'pre-dedicate' to the big D.
Three things I’m less than happy about:
1. my exhaustion during Greaters that made me miss a lot in the post wedding-feast haze.
2. missing the sensuality of the old Greaters script...but it was not possible in this version without being too Olympian for even our lot. But it was exploring a whole new set of feelings, so that's all good. Hopefully next year i'll be able to fully immerse myself in it and let it enter me in a deeper way.
3. missed visiting Artemis, which has been kind of an annual tradition for me for deeply spiritual reasons, as She's been my patron Goddess for most of my life thus far...but i'm sucking hard on wild God rather than wild Goddess energie lately (no pun intended) and i had a lot of overdue honoring to do, so...
Three good conversations:
1. conversations? between meals?! HAH!
2. i THINK i had a great one with BlackCat. I hope i didn't just dream that, because the man has a great mind and great energy...but i will admit that sadly i have a tendency to forget what he says sometimes because (A) his voice is hypnotic, and (B) he is just so damned PRETTY! (not to mention that he exudes sex. which is annoying, because he's gay. and taken. why am i only ever attracted to GAY guys?! LOL)
3. but, far and away...the ECSTASY of my shrine scene with He Who Must Not Be Named was... There are no words other than ECSTASY!!! and a DAMN long time coming (like since my Greaters year, so like seven or eight years now)!!!
Three things I’m sorry I missed:
1. a conscious and intellectual, in depth appreciation of the new Greaters script
2. Artemis' shrine.
3. once again: cheesecloth mysteries and AAOP (it'll happen when it's supposed to, i have faith...and not that i don't always jump in at some point anyway, but i'm NOT gonna not do cheesecloth next year if i can avoid it, so it's all good)
Three times I surprised myself:
1. physical flirtation with a certain girl, which is further than i usually go.
2. what came out of me at my shrine scene with HIM. *mindblown*
3. what came out of me at my shrine scene with Hermes. We really can surprise ourselves sometimes with both what our subconscious knows we NEED to do/get past...and what tools the Universe knows we WILL need in future. Can't wait to see what comes next!
(Bonus: not feeling too bad about missing out on the cast cameraderie...there's always next year, and i realized that that party is for them. we have the Beltanes, LOL)
Three important private moments:
1. My heart to heart with HIM, and my dedication to Hermes.
2. finding (i hope) MY ritual tattoo artist!
3. for some odd and very calming reason, chopping tomatoes with that awescome Itailan Restaurant chick whose name currently escapes me but who has the coolest freakin energie...
(Bonus: as always, cleansing in that awesome WATER!)
Three things that made it all worthwhile:
1. finally dedicating to Hermes after a year of low-level angsting about it.
2. being wanted/pursued is always fun; a rare treat for me.
3. and, the Ultimate... FINALLY FINDING *HIM* and basking in HIS glow.
Three things I now know:
1. i think i could sleep with someone with less strictures than i had previously thought (maybe i'm growing up a bit); though i also know i still need more work on myself just yet...which segues into:
2. i'm ready to start facing losing control of my body. i think. (methinks HE can help me with that. XD)
3. i really NEED Hermes in my life right now. Thank you, Tris Magistus!
Three things I’m going to do next:
1. bask in memories of Nueve de Beltane!
2. dream about making out with Nichole. because anyone who doesn't dream about Nicole (aside from, like Brian, Scotty, and Tim, LOL) is just...unfathomable.
3. work with what Hermes is giving me (my deepest gratitude!) and on the assignment that HE gave me
Three things I’m looking forward to:
1. Sickle tryouts/ being at HSF with Kim/SMF tryouts
2. my first tour at Wolf Haven
3. working with Hermes, and later, finally dedicating to HIM.
on the surface, "a ritual drama weekend re-enacting the Persephone/Demeter/Hades story on a decommissioned Coast Guard base with 300-odd pagans" sounds fun but sort of repetitious after a few years and not all that life-changing. And yet it is Utterly Transformative; EVERY DAMNED TIME.
SRSLY. what IS it about that festival?!!!