(no subject)
Svein looked at the screen on his phone and lamented the lack of text messages. Sure the phone networks probably weren’t helping matters a lot right this minute but Australia celebrated the New Year hours ago and that should not have created a problem for him here in Canada.
He wasn’t sure why he was surprised, this was just the way things went with them, promises were made but never delivered upon. It had been that way ever since the Eneco Tour a couple of years ago when Travis had promised him kisses for wearing the leader’s jersey so he didn’t feel left out after the pictures of Murilo and Tyler.
Travis was no doubt out having fun with all his friends and Svein was but a distant memory that might occur to him in a few days time, or more likely after the National Championships. He really needed to stop getting his hopes up so much, it always made the disappointment when it didn’t happen worse. Travis was twelve years younger than him, it was only natural that he’d be out spending time with people his own age.
Svein looked at the people around him and for the first time in his life began to feel old. Travis wasn’t going to change the fact that his career had a countdown clock on it that sooner rather than later would run out. It could be ten days from now or it could be ten years but it was going to end. When that happened was he going to look back at his life so far and regret the choices he made?
Apparently this New Year was making him maudlin and he should probably do something about that. Not right now though, he wanted to wallow in self-pity until he connected with all the feelings he’d been avoiding for the past year bubbled to the surface.
Travis would call him an idiot, tell him he’s not all that old and he’s worrying for no good reason. It would be followed by Travis telling him he’s worrying about things he can’t change and that was just wasted energy. The thought made him smile and he remembered the way Travis had kissed him. Sometimes he just adored that boy far too much.
Svein stayed for a bit after midnight and then he walked down the road to his house. A good night’s sleep and he’d be as good as new again and his moment of wallowing would be forgotten.
Svein’s almost home before he sees the figure sitting on his doorstep. When he does it’s so dark he can’t make out who it is. He has a brief moment to consider his options before he decided that he’ll just deal with whoever it is and send them on their way before he heads to bed. This is the last thing he needs tonight but it looks like he’s not going to be having a good evening at all. “You’re a hard man to find,” came the voice in the darkness.
Obviously things are so bad now he’s hearing Travis’ voice. He really needs to get some sleep and pull himself together. There is no way his Aussie was here, not with Nationals so close. “I hear you’re starting to regret signing your contract.”
Travis stood up and Svein frowned in confusion. Travis never just turned up for a visit, they were always planned months in advance and the only time they talked contracts twice, last year when he’d gone to spidertech and again when greenEdge had happened. “You’ve come all this way for New Years and you want to talk about my contract? Are you feeling okay?”
“Are you starting to regret it?” Travis snapped.
This made no sense, he hadn’t said anything to Travis about regretting it and he wouldn’t even if he did. Not only was it too late to do anything about it even if he wanted to but Travis had been so happy to find out that they were going to be reunited again he couldn’t ruin that memory. “What’s going on?”
“Will you just answer the damn question?!”
Svein reached out tentatively to touch Travis and almost breathed a sigh of relief when his hand wasn’t instantly pushed away. “Not at all,” he gave the only answer he could ever give.
Travis nodded and Svein decided if they were going to have to have a talk about whatever it was that was bothering the young Australian then they might as well do it inside where it was at least warm. He reached in his pocket for his keys and then opened the front door.
Travis followed silently and once he’d removed his boots he headed to the kitchen in search of a drink. A hand on his arm stopped him before he reached his destination and he turned back in time to see the pep talk Travis was trying to give himself. “Going to tell me what’s going on now?”
“Would you tell me if you did regret it?”
Svein sighed in frustration. “Travis-”
“I want to know!” Travis demanded.
“This is ridiculous, there’s no point to this conversation so why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?”
“So it’s true, you do regret it.”