This ex-elite wants to become a god. ROFL. I love this rambling guy.
Vol. 36 -Rain-
I guess the rain is unpopular because it's troublesome to carry an umbrella around. Or is it because it just can't compare to the crisp air when the sky is clear and blue. I don't hate the rain. I feel relieved if it's raining when I wake up. Of course, I won't feel like going out (in fact I'll feel lucky at having an excuse to cancel my plans). But I'll look up at the heavy sky from my room, and watch the flow of raindrops as they beat against the glass window erratically. Maybe something about it reminds me of myself... I'm sorry to have started on a romantic note.
On the topic of rain, it seems like I'm somehow a rain man. But, I pride myself on being the sunshine boy when I was younger. You could say it was always sunny during our sports meet. I can understand if this makes you feel like retorting "it's not because of you!", but that's not the only reason why I was a sunshine boy. The team I was in would definitely win. It's not like I worked very hard. In fact, you could say that I was actually dragging the team down but even then my team still won, that's why I must be a sunshine boy. But the sunshine boy started to get cloudy and began to be called a rain man. It only started to become really obvious two years ago in October while I was filming for the drama "Sugata Sanshiro". During the one and a half months of filming, half of it was on locations and it was raining for nearly all the days of location filming. It rained even when the weather forecast said it was going to be a fine day. It'd start to rain the moment I start filming. But it's always bright and sunny when we're filming in the studio. It starts to pour the moment I step outside. Due to all these reasons, my co-star Kazama Shunsuku-kun gave me the nickname "Water God". It seems like I was in the realm of the gods. I could apologize to the staff and cast and say, "Sorry for making it rain" but it didn't feel real to me. Wondering if it's my fault and made to feel dreadful everyday. I hated rain during those days when I felt like I was at its mercy. Though it seems like the rain likes me.
Lately, I haven't been making use of my ability as a rain man. I've been blessed with good weather and no matter where I went, no rain fell on me. But in this season with pollen flying everywhere, you'll definitely feel better if it rains. Those who do not suffer from hay fever might not know this but when it rains, the pollen will stick to the ground and make the hay fever less severe. But when the rain stops, those pollen accumulated on the ground will start to fly around with horrible effects...
During this season, the rain is helpful. But this is not the reason why I like rain. Like what I said at the start of this essay, I feel calm if it's raining when I wake up in the morning. I feel a little miserable when the weather is fine. I'll feel like something is making me anxious and it makes me feel stifled. The sun seems to be saying to me, "What are you still doing there when I'm shining so brightly?" and I'll immediately shut the blinds that I had just opened a while ago, as if I'm trying to escape from him. Maybe I'm afraid of the clear blue sky now. The rain that flows as if its crying embraces me gently. Maybe my loneliness is washed away by the unpopular rain's trickling water and pattering. I'm sorry for these cliche words but no rain goes on forever. No sky stays grey forever. Even the unpopular rain will someday be liked by everyone and stop. Because the blue sky is always there above the rain clouds.
Maybe it's not possible now. But someday, I hope I can become the light that shines through between the clouds. I hope I can be closer to the sun. I may come to like the blue sky as much as I like the rain. If I could become the sun god, or even just the water god. Ah, come to think of it, both are gods... Sorry for asking for too much.
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Thanks for reading.