Clippings
Cdr. Richard Welles and Lt. Lucky Welles shake hands in a central command room at Bicester Airfield this morning.
LONDON - The mood inside the Visitors’ Center at Bicester Airfield is gay, heavy with elation. It might seem odd that this is the reaction to a death, but when the death in question is that of Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, it is easier to react with a celebration.
Since his grandmother the esteemed Queen Victoria’s death in 1901, Europe has lived in terror of this fearsome dictator. Wilhelm exerted his influence over several countries, and it was only through the use of technological praxis and even espionage that our Great Nation has maintained its freedom from Kaiser Thought and the control of the German Empire.
Today, however, all that ends. At seven o’clock in the morning, Kaiser Wilhelm II was pronounced dead as a result of complications from gunshot wounds sustained only an hour before. As of press time, the shooter is unconfirmed, but it is alleged to be Gustav Hummel, one of Wilhelm’s tours de camps.
“It is better than we could have hoped,” says Cdr. Richard Welles, cousin of the popular airman Lt. Lucky Welles. “It is somewhat unsurprising that the dissent carried all the way to the Kaiser’s right hand, and now Europe can only call herself fortunate that we have managed to avoid a very great war indeed.”
Lucky Welles himself was unavailable for comment.