Comments | toxic_apiaceae: Fic: The Last of the Unplucked Gems (Part Two)

toxic_apiaceae

Fic: The Last of the Unplucked Gems (Part Two)

Jan 16, 2011 12:52

Part two of the serial for this week, featuring Boots and Hearts again. It's shorter than last week, thankfully, but I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out.

Word count this week is: 1281. To read part one: click here

( The Last of the Unplucked Gems (Part Two) )

week 2, brigits_flame

Comments 19

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toxic_apiaceae January 17 2011, 00:29:48 UTC

Haha! Thanks, raven! I think that was my favorite part as well.

keppiehed January 17 2011, 14:31:15 UTC

It was called Terrapin Thirty-Three and was located near a … it was located somewhere and that somewhere was a secret, hence it being a “secret hideout”.

This brought a smile. Very cute. Can't wait to see what these very colorful characters get into next week!

toxic_apiaceae January 17 2011, 20:18:30 UTC

Haha, thank you, keppie! Even if I get kicked out this week, I'm still gonna finish it. Somehow. Right now, I'm a little stumped on Guns n Roses.

belluminabyssus January 17 2011, 16:45:36 UTC

Words cannot explain how much I LOVE this story. And this universe. Please, please, please write a children's novel like this. I'd read it. I WOULD BUY IT IN HARDCOVER.

Also, I see what you did with the prompt. VERY CLEVER using "Porcelina of the Vast Oceans". It worked so perfectly!

I'd gush forever. But that would get boring really quickly.

the_malediction January 18 2011, 04:19:15 UTC

Omg, I love that. "I WOULD BUY IT IN HARDCOVER."

chuck_the_plant January 17 2011, 22:51:08 UTC

Very clever piece! I also liked the Cherub Rock throwback. :D

Is there anything more spectacular about childhood than playing dress-up adventures to save the world? Truly a child's view of the world is the most unclouded, uncompromised, and unbiased. What a wonderful, lighthearted story!
The age of the children perplexed me a little, though. From their actions and motivations, they seem somewhere around the 5 to 8 range. But their monologue sounds like that of someone much older, maybe late teens or early twenties. They might just be character quirks that were a little lost on me, and if they are, please do not change them on my account!

The story read like the kind of bedtime stories that adults hate reading to children, because the children want to stay awake to find out what happens next! Wonderful job!

toxic_apiaceae January 17 2011, 23:22:03 UTC

Chuuuuuck!

Thanks for stopping by and reading, good sir! Much appreciated.

In my head, I see Boots as being a very small 10 and Hearts as a taller 11. Their behavior is heavily patterned off of anime/manga characters of the same age. If you're not familiar with anime/manga, kids that age NEVER act it. So... that's probably why their monolgue sounds a bit more mature.

And I'm taking that last line as the best compliment ever. Thanks a lot!

the_malediction January 18 2011, 04:24:31 UTC

This was really good. Your writing, as usual, is just fantastic this week. It made me desperately want to play pirates on top of everything else!

toxic_apiaceae January 18 2011, 11:18:46 UTC

Aw, thank you, mal! I appreciate you taking the time to read this! *hugs*

Ah, yeah. It kinda makes me wanna do that, too. I couldn't find any bandanas though and someone ran off with my peg leg... Dunno if I wanna find out what happened to it now.