Reprisal

[toxic_apiaceae]

Week three for brigits_flame All Stars.  Literally JUST wrote this in about an hour, so it's probably riddled with errors and all that.  No real warnings for this one other than child birth and blood and implied sexual abuse.  This is a continuation from the last couple weeks, and the next to last entry for this series.

Comments

[belluminabyssus]

This is a great continuation. It's so vivid and horrible, but so well written. I love the touch that the baby stills whenever the "adoptive" mother tries to feel her -- it was very effective. And I can't believe you left off with a cliffhanger!

One quick thing, though -- there's no page break or distinction between when the story switches narrators and perspectives, unlike your other installments, so you may want to do something about that -- I was a little confused at first when it switched so abruptly without notice into Willisa's POV, and then back out again.

[toxic_apiaceae]

Gaaaah! *kicks LJ in the teeth*

It ate my nice, pretty page breaks. I know they were there -- KNOW IT. And LJ ate them.

Other than agreeing with you that the eating of my page breaks makes it look all half assed and horrid, thanks for reading!

[toxic_apiaceae]

Yeah... those page breaks WERE there when I c/p'd into LJ. And then LJ ate them. It looks sooooo awful and ugly without them!

[keppiehed]

Oh, I am just loving this so much. I can't even tell you how much I really hope you continue the tale. I am absolutely on the edge on my seat as I read this. You have such a talent for the way you spin out the details; I don't think I blinked the whole time. Really fantastic stuff!

[toxic_apiaceae]

Aww, thanks, keppie! That means the world to me!