Pre-Last Entry
Hello there, This will be the "before-last" entry. My last entry will be the next one. I'm just updating to I guess inform you about what I plan to do and to tell you about what has been happening in my life. Anyway, this will be "not such a short entry but shorter than usual entry" (love the proper English) with some pictures. Here goes:
I mean what I say. I can finally say that with confidence. I promised to myself around the end of july that by the end of August I would have accomplished the following things: Strengthen old friendships and make new ones, go back to 155 pounds, save money, get a state ID, stay busy, get over distasteful memories and feel accomplished about life. I must say I accomplished everything.
I have something to do everyday. I have work, I have friends to go out with, I have people to talk to on the phone and basically I'm busy a lot. Most of my friendships are thriving, and i'm trying to get to know my new friends. I'm very happy in this aspect of my life since it hadn't happened in a very long time. I can say with confidence that I have a circle of best friends and as well as supportive friends and thats great! So yah thats something I accomplished very well.
I lost 30 pounds in a very, very short amount of time. Some people call it unhealthy but I don't care. I still did it. I exercised, ate healthy and moderately and BAM! I'm back to 155 pounds. My body looks like it did July last year so it looks good. Plenty of people have noticed the change and I have noticed the change and I'm proud to say I'm confident about my body. I love it, I adore it and I have stopped losing weight. I'm gonna keep this shape. I was gonna lose more weight but then I'd be a boy version of Lindsay Lohan . . . . god she looks soo anorexic but that's not the point. So yah, I love my body now!
I've saved some money. At the moment I have 400 dollars. I have to open an account at the bank to keep it safer . . right now its home so yah bank account must be opened soon.
Guess what? Ok, getting a state ID for me has been like trying to get an infertile woman pregnant! Yes! God! It's been so hard and I failed soooooo many times. I went there like 4 times and everytime I got turned down for something (stupid reasons why I got turned down -_-). But today I finally got it. I got a temporary at the moment but I should be getting the real one in like two weeks.
I've stayed busy through-out August. I worked, I stayed out late hanging out with friends, I slept over people's houses, I met new people, I got some business accomplished I pretty much did a lot of things. So I didn't get home till late which was very cool I might say. One day I migth get home at 2AM and would ahve to wake up at 6:30AM to go to work . . blah but its a blast doing that! I love it!
I found out a lot about myself during the past month. How much I'm capable of, how my mind works and basically I've tried to counter my traditional way of thinking. I was one of those people who would sit and wait for things to feel right, to let time do its healing, and just bask in defeat . . . just letting others reckless harm eat away their hope and life. I was stupid. I can confidently say I'm over Lubos. I don't care about him, I don't feel anything for him . . . he's like a stranger to me now. I don't cringe when I hear his name anymore or even think about him anymore. It was kind of easy to get to this point after all that was done. When I thought about it a while ago I figured that our relationship was a lie . . . based on his actions I came to that conclusion and it made it easier. I must say I regret everything I had with him since it was all a lie . . . I saw the lies but I was stupid, I was in love and it blinded me when I saw those lies . . . . in a way its good what he did. It was a wake up call . . never trust the word of a man . . trust his actions not his mouth. It was all there but I refused to see it. That will never happen again. I've moved on, and I want to just make peace with my past. Those distasteful memories are all past . . . everything from Ramon to Richard, to Lubos to James and to all who I have distasteful memories of . . . I wish them the best in life. I want to shake their hands and hug them and say thank you for making me a better person . . . we all had our good moments and I whatever happened is all in the past now.
I've met new guys, new guys that like me and I've done things with them but I must say I was dissapointed. I miss being in a relationship . . . Love is like a drug addiction to me, I have to get a new one to replace withdrawl symptoms. I'm not satisfied with the person I'm "seeing" at the moment because its not a relationship but a game of lust. Blah, like I said I miss being in a relationship and no matter how many friends I make I'll probably still feel a little lonely. I'm ashamed to say this but I need to fill the "love" void in my heart. I'm such a stupid hopeless lover but now I'm a lot smarter. When I finally meet somebody worthy of a relationship I will take more control, control my emotions, don't get into the me being the "planet" and him being the "sun" thing, and counsel with my intuition . . . again what happened in July will NEVER happen again. So yah, I'm a sappy hopeless ass at moment. But yah out of a game of lust can develop a healthy relationship so hopefully I'll be with my lust buddy soon if not there are others out there who I know like me and it won't be hard to . . yah. Ok.
Before I go, I have an announcement. I'm gonna make a picture journal for myself. The old joint journal with me and Johanna will never happen since she has no enthusiasm for it so I'll make my own. The next (and last) entry will have a link to it. I'll add anyone to that journal since its just a picture journal. My friends only journal is up and running. Ok so here are pictures . . . from work.
This is on the way to Hershey Park. My job (A summer camp) had trips every tuesday and thursday so I went to interesting places during my time working :-D!! This picture is on the George Washington bridge . . . its sucha beautiful view . . after the Hudson goes away from the City.
At first sight, I could ahve sworn that was a University . . . others thought it was a hotel, a palace, the DMV of Pennsylvania but NOOOOO . . its a bloody chocolate factory! hahaha!
I sneaked my camera on this rollercoaster . . Hahaha!
It was okay, it was that thrilling but it killed boredom.
Smuggled my camera on another coaster again! Hahaha!
These are two campers on our way back to New York . . .
This is where the Camp is located . . . . its in the basement of this Baptist church. This and the rest of the pictures were taken yesterday which was the last day of camp.
These are some of the campers and Stephanie, a counselor, playing cards in the morning.
This is a few campers at the park. We all go to the park after lunch. The girl on the bottom left is Kadija and she is my favorite small camper! I love her! She is soo cute >.
This is Taisha (left), and Kiana (right) . . . Maybe you can see a little bit but Taisha has some of the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen . . . they are Hazel . . the Camera makes them look brown but in real life they look YELLOW! It's sooo cool!
From left that's Janette, some camper whose name I don't know, Elizabeth, Miguel, and a camper called Adjani.
A group of Campers back at the church after the park . . .
This is Dante . . he was the boy I was assigned to watch over on every trip. Dante is special, because well he is supposedly the hardest camper to deal with. However I beg to differ . . . he has the nerves of steel because I took him on toughest rides and I got to enjoy every trip since he was willing to get on every ride I took him on. He is cool . . unfortunately everybody makes fun of him . . . because he's fat. I sort of can relate to him since I was made fun of when I was little beause I was fat when I was younger. I hope he overcomes every obstacle that faces him in the future, he is a good boy and deserves it. *tear* I will miss my campers . . . Oh! He reminds me of someone whoever I won't say who . . . HAhahaha! >.<
Me just relaxing . . hahaha! Our dress code was soo lax! I was wearing a Bandana, shorts, and sandals!
The older looking ones are Janette and Luis and the rest are campers . . I know their names but I don't feel like writing them all out . . .
The three girls from left to right are Janette, Elizabeth, and Lily . . . the little boy I forgot his name.
These are the counselors . . . from left to right they are Luis, Elizabeth, Stephanie (My favorite, Hahaha! She is so cool and funny!), Devon (he is a very kind person, because he made me an effort to make me fit in), Janine (the one kneeling with the red shirt), Janette, Lily, Anaya, and Adamelle. One of the counselors, Miguel, was taking pictures with me so he was missing from the picture.
These are Sharell and Taisha. These two were my favorite older campers . . they were very nice and we always got along well. I will miss them . . .
This is what is left of my Henna design I did on my hand last Thursday. It's my FIRST ORIGINAL design! I made the design myself instead of just copying and altering ones from online. It came out very well! :-D
That's all . . . I will update my friends only journal tomorrow since I haven't updated that one in a while . . . and yah. I'll see you all later. Take care!
I mean what I say. I can finally say that with confidence. I promised to myself around the end of july that by the end of August I would have accomplished the following things: Strengthen old friendships and make new ones, go back to 155 pounds, save money, get a state ID, stay busy, get over distasteful memories and feel accomplished about life. I must say I accomplished everything.
I have something to do everyday. I have work, I have friends to go out with, I have people to talk to on the phone and basically I'm busy a lot. Most of my friendships are thriving, and i'm trying to get to know my new friends. I'm very happy in this aspect of my life since it hadn't happened in a very long time. I can say with confidence that I have a circle of best friends and as well as supportive friends and thats great! So yah thats something I accomplished very well.
I lost 30 pounds in a very, very short amount of time. Some people call it unhealthy but I don't care. I still did it. I exercised, ate healthy and moderately and BAM! I'm back to 155 pounds. My body looks like it did July last year so it looks good. Plenty of people have noticed the change and I have noticed the change and I'm proud to say I'm confident about my body. I love it, I adore it and I have stopped losing weight. I'm gonna keep this shape. I was gonna lose more weight but then I'd be a boy version of Lindsay Lohan . . . . god she looks soo anorexic but that's not the point. So yah, I love my body now!
I've saved some money. At the moment I have 400 dollars. I have to open an account at the bank to keep it safer . . right now its home so yah bank account must be opened soon.
Guess what? Ok, getting a state ID for me has been like trying to get an infertile woman pregnant! Yes! God! It's been so hard and I failed soooooo many times. I went there like 4 times and everytime I got turned down for something (stupid reasons why I got turned down -_-). But today I finally got it. I got a temporary at the moment but I should be getting the real one in like two weeks.
I've stayed busy through-out August. I worked, I stayed out late hanging out with friends, I slept over people's houses, I met new people, I got some business accomplished I pretty much did a lot of things. So I didn't get home till late which was very cool I might say. One day I migth get home at 2AM and would ahve to wake up at 6:30AM to go to work . . blah but its a blast doing that! I love it!
I found out a lot about myself during the past month. How much I'm capable of, how my mind works and basically I've tried to counter my traditional way of thinking. I was one of those people who would sit and wait for things to feel right, to let time do its healing, and just bask in defeat . . . just letting others reckless harm eat away their hope and life. I was stupid. I can confidently say I'm over Lubos. I don't care about him, I don't feel anything for him . . . he's like a stranger to me now. I don't cringe when I hear his name anymore or even think about him anymore. It was kind of easy to get to this point after all that was done. When I thought about it a while ago I figured that our relationship was a lie . . . based on his actions I came to that conclusion and it made it easier. I must say I regret everything I had with him since it was all a lie . . . I saw the lies but I was stupid, I was in love and it blinded me when I saw those lies . . . . in a way its good what he did. It was a wake up call . . never trust the word of a man . . trust his actions not his mouth. It was all there but I refused to see it. That will never happen again. I've moved on, and I want to just make peace with my past. Those distasteful memories are all past . . . everything from Ramon to Richard, to Lubos to James and to all who I have distasteful memories of . . . I wish them the best in life. I want to shake their hands and hug them and say thank you for making me a better person . . . we all had our good moments and I whatever happened is all in the past now.
I've met new guys, new guys that like me and I've done things with them but I must say I was dissapointed. I miss being in a relationship . . . Love is like a drug addiction to me, I have to get a new one to replace withdrawl symptoms. I'm not satisfied with the person I'm "seeing" at the moment because its not a relationship but a game of lust. Blah, like I said I miss being in a relationship and no matter how many friends I make I'll probably still feel a little lonely. I'm ashamed to say this but I need to fill the "love" void in my heart. I'm such a stupid hopeless lover but now I'm a lot smarter. When I finally meet somebody worthy of a relationship I will take more control, control my emotions, don't get into the me being the "planet" and him being the "sun" thing, and counsel with my intuition . . . again what happened in July will NEVER happen again. So yah, I'm a sappy hopeless ass at moment. But yah out of a game of lust can develop a healthy relationship so hopefully I'll be with my lust buddy soon if not there are others out there who I know like me and it won't be hard to . . yah. Ok.
Before I go, I have an announcement. I'm gonna make a picture journal for myself. The old joint journal with me and Johanna will never happen since she has no enthusiasm for it so I'll make my own. The next (and last) entry will have a link to it. I'll add anyone to that journal since its just a picture journal. My friends only journal is up and running. Ok so here are pictures . . . from work.
This is on the way to Hershey Park. My job (A summer camp) had trips every tuesday and thursday so I went to interesting places during my time working :-D!! This picture is on the George Washington bridge . . . its sucha beautiful view . . after the Hudson goes away from the City.
At first sight, I could ahve sworn that was a University . . . others thought it was a hotel, a palace, the DMV of Pennsylvania but NOOOOO . . its a bloody chocolate factory! hahaha!
I sneaked my camera on this rollercoaster . . Hahaha!
It was okay, it was that thrilling but it killed boredom.
Smuggled my camera on another coaster again! Hahaha!
These are two campers on our way back to New York . . .
This is where the Camp is located . . . . its in the basement of this Baptist church. This and the rest of the pictures were taken yesterday which was the last day of camp.
These are some of the campers and Stephanie, a counselor, playing cards in the morning.
This is a few campers at the park. We all go to the park after lunch. The girl on the bottom left is Kadija and she is my favorite small camper! I love her! She is soo cute >.
This is Taisha (left), and Kiana (right) . . . Maybe you can see a little bit but Taisha has some of the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen . . . they are Hazel . . the Camera makes them look brown but in real life they look YELLOW! It's sooo cool!
From left that's Janette, some camper whose name I don't know, Elizabeth, Miguel, and a camper called Adjani.
A group of Campers back at the church after the park . . .
This is Dante . . he was the boy I was assigned to watch over on every trip. Dante is special, because well he is supposedly the hardest camper to deal with. However I beg to differ . . . he has the nerves of steel because I took him on toughest rides and I got to enjoy every trip since he was willing to get on every ride I took him on. He is cool . . unfortunately everybody makes fun of him . . . because he's fat. I sort of can relate to him since I was made fun of when I was little beause I was fat when I was younger. I hope he overcomes every obstacle that faces him in the future, he is a good boy and deserves it. *tear* I will miss my campers . . . Oh! He reminds me of someone whoever I won't say who . . . HAhahaha! >.<
Me just relaxing . . hahaha! Our dress code was soo lax! I was wearing a Bandana, shorts, and sandals!
The older looking ones are Janette and Luis and the rest are campers . . I know their names but I don't feel like writing them all out . . .
The three girls from left to right are Janette, Elizabeth, and Lily . . . the little boy I forgot his name.
These are the counselors . . . from left to right they are Luis, Elizabeth, Stephanie (My favorite, Hahaha! She is so cool and funny!), Devon (he is a very kind person, because he made me an effort to make me fit in), Janine (the one kneeling with the red shirt), Janette, Lily, Anaya, and Adamelle. One of the counselors, Miguel, was taking pictures with me so he was missing from the picture.
These are Sharell and Taisha. These two were my favorite older campers . . they were very nice and we always got along well. I will miss them . . .
This is what is left of my Henna design I did on my hand last Thursday. It's my FIRST ORIGINAL design! I made the design myself instead of just copying and altering ones from online. It came out very well! :-D
That's all . . . I will update my friends only journal tomorrow since I haven't updated that one in a while . . . and yah. I'll see you all later. Take care!