fantastic.
I need to have a yard sale. I have accumulated more stuff than i can possibly fit anywhere, and more clothes than one person can possibly wear.. although a lot of it im hoping to fit back into. You know, when my weight budges from where its been despite working out and attempting to eat right. im moody. very moody.
So my mother is in a particularly cunttastic mood today. Woke up to get yelled at to get all of my stuff out of the basement, and then had a 10 minute screaming match about her not being willing to give me her financial info so i can fill out the fafsa. this after last nights being told she will not allow me to use her credit card to apply for any colleges (mind, i'm trading her cash for the application fees). well then that got changed to 'you are only*ALLOWED* to apply for penn state', blah blah, and apparently i am not going to do anything with my life.
errr, right mom.
THIS IS WHY I MOVED HOME. TO GO TO COLLEGE. WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?!
then im told to go get a job and go get my liscence (wasn't she the one who claimed she would help me with all of this? yeah, i thought so too.) - okay, thats nice, but if its NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY for one, get off my ass about it, and for another thing, don't sit there and say 'oh i'll take you down on thursday to go get your permit renewed and to put in that job application' and then bitch because it didn't get done. I was ready. Oh and this, "well, you didn't wake up early enough" - really mom, i'm sorry if you feel your day is OVER at two PM, and if 11 is a really unreasonable hour to wake up, this is fine, but TELL ME THESE THINGS instead of expecing me to read your god damn mind and think that SEVEN AM IS PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE, even though NOTHING IS EVEN OPEN and NO REASONABLE HUMAN BEING WILLINGLY GOES OUT AT SEVEN AM TO GO TO THE DMV and im sorry if you drunk yourself into such a stupor the night before that YOU WERE ASLEEP BY 8 PM.
yay. so i had a cigarette last night. i was flat out flipping. and then i realized i CANT EVEN FUCKING SMOKE ANYMORE because the god damn smoke makes me sick. like throwing up sick. okay, this bodes well for quitting and all but it would be nice if i had ONE FUCKING SIMPLE PLEASURE LEFT. Can't take a decent bath, piss in the upstairs (read: warm) bathroom without getting PISS ALL OVER MY ASS because THE MALES IN THIS HOUSE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LIFT A FUCKING TOILET SEAT, and NOW I CANT EVEN TOLERATE SMOKING.
stupid fuckheads make me angry when i have to deal with the consequences of their bullshit.
*insert rant about lu and of feeling like a backup plan*
oh, and last nights little stint with I CAN'T READ ANYMORE! I SEE THE WORDS BUT THEY ARENT MAKING ANY SENSE. nothing sinks in. lack of fucking COMPREHENSION.
i have got to get out of this town. i've got to get away from these fucking sheep raping cousin fucking crosseyed goat lovers in this town. i've got to get out of this town, period. its literally making me insane. im losing my mind. i havent got half a brain left.
So my mother is in a particularly cunttastic mood today. Woke up to get yelled at to get all of my stuff out of the basement, and then had a 10 minute screaming match about her not being willing to give me her financial info so i can fill out the fafsa. this after last nights being told she will not allow me to use her credit card to apply for any colleges (mind, i'm trading her cash for the application fees). well then that got changed to 'you are only*ALLOWED* to apply for penn state', blah blah, and apparently i am not going to do anything with my life.
errr, right mom.
THIS IS WHY I MOVED HOME. TO GO TO COLLEGE. WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?!
then im told to go get a job and go get my liscence (wasn't she the one who claimed she would help me with all of this? yeah, i thought so too.) - okay, thats nice, but if its NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY for one, get off my ass about it, and for another thing, don't sit there and say 'oh i'll take you down on thursday to go get your permit renewed and to put in that job application' and then bitch because it didn't get done. I was ready. Oh and this, "well, you didn't wake up early enough" - really mom, i'm sorry if you feel your day is OVER at two PM, and if 11 is a really unreasonable hour to wake up, this is fine, but TELL ME THESE THINGS instead of expecing me to read your god damn mind and think that SEVEN AM IS PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE, even though NOTHING IS EVEN OPEN and NO REASONABLE HUMAN BEING WILLINGLY GOES OUT AT SEVEN AM TO GO TO THE DMV and im sorry if you drunk yourself into such a stupor the night before that YOU WERE ASLEEP BY 8 PM.
yay. so i had a cigarette last night. i was flat out flipping. and then i realized i CANT EVEN FUCKING SMOKE ANYMORE because the god damn smoke makes me sick. like throwing up sick. okay, this bodes well for quitting and all but it would be nice if i had ONE FUCKING SIMPLE PLEASURE LEFT. Can't take a decent bath, piss in the upstairs (read: warm) bathroom without getting PISS ALL OVER MY ASS because THE MALES IN THIS HOUSE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LIFT A FUCKING TOILET SEAT, and NOW I CANT EVEN TOLERATE SMOKING.
stupid fuckheads make me angry when i have to deal with the consequences of their bullshit.
*insert rant about lu and of feeling like a backup plan*
oh, and last nights little stint with I CAN'T READ ANYMORE! I SEE THE WORDS BUT THEY ARENT MAKING ANY SENSE. nothing sinks in. lack of fucking COMPREHENSION.
i have got to get out of this town. i've got to get away from these fucking sheep raping cousin fucking crosseyed goat lovers in this town. i've got to get out of this town, period. its literally making me insane. im losing my mind. i havent got half a brain left.