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tell me
depressing week...
why am i feeling like this -
Life
My grandmother got admitted to the hospital today... this makes me regret so much for not spending more time with her, trying to communicate and talk to her. Even while i was away, for that 7 months, a lack of contact with my family. I suppose my family and i aren't especially close. all my siblings and i are so different, we lead different ( Read more... ) -
questions of reality
i am going through a mild existential crisis. and it sucks. it really does. one moment i know what i have to do with my life, and the next moment, i don't understand what im doing... i don't know what to do and sometimes i wish someone would tell me what i have to do (although it's likely i won't listen ( Read more... ) -
fascinating isn't it
i have a weird fascination with the idea of love. i don't feel the need to fall in love but i would like to know the feeling of being in love. i want to know the feeling of heart break - while not actually wanting to be heartbroken ( Read more... ) -
test
"Test: I try MDMA because I want to know if the drug takes my brain and dumps all of its contents out onto an abandoned parking space. Conclusion: IT DOES. I can’t do anything for a day because I’m too busy doing cartwheels and licking my own hair. Test: I hook up with a stranger because I want to know if I can just switch my emotions off and wake ( Read more... ) -
self-discovery
"Strip me of my clumpy mascara and worn out Chucks and I’m nothing more than a walking bag of contradictions and erratic behavior that I don’t understand and can’t explain. I feel foolish now for trying all this time to define myself (uh?) in order to know myself (huh??) in order to stay true to myself (shut up), after realizing how defining ( Read more... ) -
disappointments
"I’m never emotional at all in front of people. If I am, something is seriously wrong. I view emotions as weaknesses and no one is allowed to see me weak without my permission." -
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i conclude that i can live without a phone but i most definitely cannot live without a laptop -
Prague, Czech Republic
Been rather bored lately, so I thought i might as well do a backlog of my summer travels ( Read more... ) -
acceptance
It's been 2.5 weeks since i've been home? have attended multiple 21st, met up with friends etc. it's been nice to meet these friends again. but the sadness overwhelms the happiness ( Read more... )