losing 7 pounds, gaining back 3, and express mailing the rest to cananda "cecil" williams.
my mom just gave my dad the money because she doesn't like to fight.
i was walking at the time she told me with a drink in my hand, in front of too many people to violently slam the small drink into the corner of a brick wall.
like the first time she told me about it i kept my cool. unlike the first time she told me about it, i continued to keep my cool after we hung up, and just called taylor since he's the only one who would get angry as opposed to any of the other forms of support. "molotov cocktail" and laughter was all i could need or stand.
2 hours later at a gas station, a white trash guy asked me if i had a lighter and when i stared blankly and shook my head no he yelled "uhaveuh CUNTMOUTH"
and drove away to park. when i left i drove past, hit 2 beeps, and then away practicing screaming "cunt mouth" with the windows down &my newly lit cigarette in hand.
my hair was clean, i was wearing a black turtleneck, a red cardigan, blue and white striped puffy shorts, white and gold glitter tights, and black ankle boots.
(wish i'd been wearing the cunt dress
)
nice.
alll i want is to make a ton of money and give it back to my mom. it was almost an entire year's worth of work for a lie that worked because, i don't know, but late at night, early any morning.
hmmmm ck-i also want a blackberry phone and a bruise on my ribcage and to never cry again. and maybe to be more quiet, yes only me and my beautiful white kitten alone on a chair in a clean room we don't need drinks we don't need movies, just quiet and pristine.
nah kidding i'm about to tie a tiny ivory owl in my hair and leave it there 'til the string disintegrates