Re: randomly chatting. You realize that I've done that with you, yes? Where I usually start a conversation with "Hi, we haven't talked in a while!" and proceed to ask random questions about how your life is going. Which is actually how I interact with people a lot - I just ask how they're doing, and if I have any more relevant information (they have a test coming up, they just finished an essay, they were thinking about running for an officership in a student group) I ask more specific questions. And I listen
( ... )
It's helpful in the sense that I know that's how it's done... but knowing how it's done doesn't actually mean I can replicate it.
But we'll see. It will be a few days, probably, before I next have to go inventing reasons. Unless I start to feel that waiting around for the next legitimate excuse isn't enough...
See, this is what I mean about overanalyzing everything.
Anyway, I wanted to say thank you for the comments! It's always nice to know for sure at least one person is reading and even thinking about what I write...
Texts aren't the best way to just talk to someone (although they do seem to happen waaaaaaay more on the east coast than in SF, might be a culture thing.) Randomly talking to them in person is better. Just whenever you see them, say "sup?" or some better variant greeting, like "hi. llo. ....sup?" And then talk for like 15 seconds about what is sup.
The best part is, if you randomly talk to everyone you know, 1) everyone takes it as normal, cause you treat people equally, and 2) you get a lot of practice with 15 second conversations. And maybe some conversations last longer than 20 or even 30 seconds. But if they do not, that is ok.
And re: smalltalk in other contexts, I just ask people about themselves, and then say whatever pops into my head when it pops into my head, sans filter. It works pretty well, on average.
Comments 3
Reply
But we'll see. It will be a few days, probably, before I next have to go inventing reasons. Unless I start to feel that waiting around for the next legitimate excuse isn't enough...
See, this is what I mean about overanalyzing everything.
Anyway, I wanted to say thank you for the comments! It's always nice to know for sure at least one person is reading and even thinking about what I write...
Reply
Texts aren't the best way to just talk to someone (although they do seem to happen waaaaaaay more on the east coast than in SF, might be a culture thing.) Randomly talking to them in person is better. Just whenever you see them, say "sup?" or some better variant greeting, like "hi. llo. ....sup?" And then talk for like 15 seconds about what is sup.
The best part is, if you randomly talk to everyone you know, 1) everyone takes it as normal, cause you treat people equally, and 2) you get a lot of practice with 15 second conversations. And maybe some conversations last longer than 20 or even 30 seconds. But if they do not, that is ok.
And re: smalltalk in other contexts, I just ask people about themselves, and then say whatever pops into my head when it pops into my head, sans filter. It works pretty well, on average.
Reply
Leave a comment